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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Anyone have a boy who has done well at school despite a slow start?

20 replies

Ghanagirl · 11/02/2013 15:15

Hi, bit worried about my DS he is a twin, and despite reaching all his milestones quicker than his twin sister since starting school he's not making as good progress, she is 4 levels ahead in reading and despite being the poorly one at birth is way ahead of him, I'm reasonably bright and his dad is very academic.
Beginning to worry about him as he knows his sister is doing really well at school.
Thanks

OP posts:

givemeaclue · 11/02/2013 15:20

Hi, I have twins and one of mine is several reading levels ahead. But try not to compare them! One may be unusually advanced, doesn't mean the other is behind! Mine are in different classes and we praise them both for the things they are good at. One knows the other is more advanced at reading, but she has her own successes , she loves reading too and she gets lots of praise and encouragement. Find things he is good at and give him lots of praise. Above all, twins progress at different rateS and they will leapfrog eachother all through school. Praise effort rather than result too.

smee · 11/02/2013 15:22

Boys are often slower - not at all sure if that's scientifically proven, but it seems to be the case. Really wouldn't worry at all until he's a bit bigger. Things seem to level out about year 2.

PeasandCucumbers · 11/02/2013 15:29

My DS is Yr 3 & his younger sister is Yr 2. She has always been ahead of him in reading & literacy and he was really slow to get these but in the last 6 months things seem to be really clicking into place for him and I definitely now think it was just that he was slower to get started.

BackforGood · 11/02/2013 16:18

As a generalisation - meaning there will be exceptions, but making it pretty common - boys don't seem to be 'wired' to sit and concentrate from such an early age as girls do, so often girls tend to be seen to be doing better in our education system in the first couple of years. It must be hard, but I agree with others about doing your best not to compare them against each other, but to praise what they each do well, and encourage them with those things they find harder. I know... easier said than done.

startlife · 11/02/2013 20:05

ds was a very slow starter and as I have 2 older girls it was difficult not to make comparisons. He seemed to be stuck in Reception and Year1 whilst others made great progress. However since year2 he has moved forwards and is now reading above his reading age.

Everyone told me not to worry (but I did)..some boys do take longer to but it's like learning to walk, once they start you wonder why you were ever concerned.

posadas · 11/02/2013 21:38

How old are your children? When you say "four levels ahead", to you mean as in ORT or some similar early reading scheme?

Original poster

Ghanagirl · 16/02/2013 10:14

Thanks all feel more reassured, I know that generally girls do better initially but had a conversation with a mum whose onlybboy was reading at the same level as my DD and was apparently doing multiplication as well! They are all in year one she went on to say all her hard work in the early days had paid off, she also works full time. Went home feeling like failure, but have calmed down now

OP posts:

allchildrenreading · 16/02/2013 23:27

Have knowldge of 4 lots of twins - 3 identical.

i. 'difficult' identical twin is now the one going to college.V. surprised!

ii. 'non-viable' twin - yet, when he was taught in a logical wayhe learned to read - in spite of obvious cognitive delays.

iii.'slower' identcal twin overtoom his brother using a diffferent SP prograqmme.

iv. identical girls - not able to follow-up when they moved.

At this stage, the most important thing is to bolster the twin who is not succceding as fast as his other win. boys are often slower to read but just keep an eye on the situation . For now it's normal.

5madthings · 16/02/2013 23:33

Yep my elder three boys were slow with reading etc but once they got it they whizzed ahead. My ds1 is now a top set student, predicted all a and a* for GCSE's.

Ds2 is in yr 6 and above average for everything and doing very well.

Ds3 has just caught up in yr 3 and is doing well.

steppemum · 16/02/2013 23:44

my son was a slow reader and I was convinced he had a reading problem. He was bright and articulate and full of general knowledge and ideas. One reason I thought there was a problem was that there was a gap between his verbal skills (good) and reading (very hard work)

At beginning of year 3, it all clicked into place. he is now in top group all round and reads more books per week than I do. (proper long chapter books) He is now in year 5

When I was teaching, I taught year 3 and 4. I came across so many boys that came up to Y3 and even Y4 in the bottom 25% mainly because of reading, and then took off in the most amazing way, finishing the year above average.

GoLadyEdith · 17/02/2013 10:05

Ds2 seemed very average till about y5 (competent yet very reluctant reader, his y3 teacher even thought he was a bit backward especially in maths). But around age 9 he took off - began to write very well, maths improved hugely etc. FF: 9A (inc English Lang, English lit and maths), at GCSE, predicted 3A & 1A in A levels and is now sitting on an Oxbridge offer...

littlemiss06 · 17/02/2013 10:34

I have twins who were born prem and last day in August so were always the babies of the class, they started school and in reception where quite a way behind their peers however I worked really hard along with support from school and they did fantastic, they moved up in to the top sets and are now in 6th form college after leaving school with As and Bs

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 17/02/2013 11:12

DS1 was way behind by the end of Y2, he is summer born and mildly dyslexic. Reading clicked in the middle of Y3. He is now in Y5 and is comfortably holding his own in all subjects and near the top on a couple.

Bessie123 · 17/02/2013 11:39

I know an academic with a first from Oxford who was in all the bottom sets at school and written off as a dopey thicko until he was a teenager and was suddenly brilliant. Although my mum always reckoned it was because his parents kept him up too late at night when he was a child.

goingmadinthecountry · 17/02/2013 22:41

Ds was much slower than his 2 sisters. Was told by school when he was 7 to mourn the fact he'd never go to university and he might like to be a builder. Great advice!!

Well, he might. That will be up to him. He's dyslexic, we changed schools, he passed his 11 plus and he's now 16 and certainly expected by his school to get into university.

goingmadinthecountry · 17/02/2013 22:42

I'm trally proud of him, by the way.

goingmadinthecountry · 17/02/2013 22:43

Really. Am typing in the dark and am rubbish.

Whojamaflip · 17/02/2013 22:50

Ds1 has reached Y5 and has suddenly taken off - now actually acing tests and reading competently - but I have been despairing about him for the last 4 years.

For the first time I am actually looking forward to parents evening after half term....

wintermelonsoup · 20/02/2013 09:54

My dh was very rubbish at primary school and okayish in secondary school . Surprisingly he did well with his A-levels and went to Kings College in London in the end.

Elibean · 20/02/2013 14:48

I had a boyfriend once, who started reading aged 7 after a very slow start.

He then read Lord of the Rings, and later went to medical school. It does happen!

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