DD chatting in class and not working very well. Best way to handle?

[ilovelilos]

I've been told today by DD's teacher that my 7 year old chats a lot in class time, which is obviously very disruptive. She's not achieving anywhere near her potential.

Just wondering the best way to approach this with her to have the best effect.

Punishments, rewards or just a chat?

At home she is a lovely little girl.

Any advice gratefully received and thanks for taking the time to read this.

Xx

You know your daughter best. I assume the teacher has told you because she wants your support in dealing with the issue. Have you asked the teacher what she wants you to do. There is only so much a parent can do to improve their child's behaviour at school.

In your situation I would tell her that I was very disappointed to hear that she is constantly chatting in class and not doing her best. If you do this kind of telling off in a calm quiet voice it will be more effective than shouting at her.

It would be worth asking the teacher via the home contact book if there has been any improvement. If there has been an improvement in your daughters behavour after a week then tell her how pleased you are to hear that she has been working nicely.

Why doesn't the teacher move her somewhere else?

I'd just have a chat with her. I wonder why the teacher just doesn't tell her to stop?

I would assume the teacher has already told her to stop, and possibly even moved her in class. There is a limit to where you can move children though. I remember ds2 being very chatty in Yr3 and when I suggested moving him to a desk on his own, the teacher said they were generally a chatty class and she would have needed a hexagonal room in order to be able to seat all the really chatty ones apart from each other. She was a good teacher btw, they were, and remained, a very talkative class!

Theres not a lot you can do, the teacher needs to deal with it.

The parent can help the child to understand that it's rude and disruptive to talk during the lesson and try to make her see what her behaviour is doing. But she can't actually prevent her daughter from doing it. The parent can maybe find out why her daughter persists. (Maybe the teacher doesn't have much natural authority which is why she's telling the parent.)

I had this yesterday with my 7y DS. I was called over by DS's teacher and given a letter. She said she was sorry she had to give me it but my son had been chatting in class. When I got home I opened the letter. It said that if he doesn't stop chatting then I will be asked to go into school to discuss his behaviour.
He has always been very chatty. I asked him why he was disrupting the class. He said another boy kept making funny noises and it kept making him laugh. Not sure what I am going to do.

"He has always been very chatty. I asked him why he was disrupting the class. He said another boy kept making funny noises and it kept making him laugh. Not sure what I am going to do. "

Your son is responsible for his own behaviour. Ultimately its his decision whether he chooses to talk or not. Parents are in a strong position to back the teacher.
If the teacher is asking for parental backing then it must be a serious issue.

It is a parenting issue if a child is failing to behave in class. A teacher must be at the end of tether to write a letter to the parents. There is plenty a parent can do to improve their child's behaviour.

I'd be setting up some form of communication with the teacher whereby if there is any more chatting, you get told on the same day, then there are sanctions at home (no tv, no games, no treats). Conversely, a day without a complaint from the teacher earns a star, and you can set a threshold where it leads to a small reward. YOu need to tell your DC in advance that this is what is going to happen so that they know the consequences of their behaviour.

I'd be taking this very seriously and would be very disappointed if my DC did this.

It is NOT up to the teacher to weave some kind of magic that stops a disruptive child talking while s/he is trying to teach! It's this assumption that causes children to fail to make progress, when the message they pick up from parents is "It's up to the teacher to deal with what goes on in school" as opposed to "I value your education and I expect you to take both learning and showing common courtesy seriously!" If the teacher is communicating frustration to parents it will mean that moving the child, warnings and sanctions have not worked. At this point only the child can improve things. Short of removing the child from the room (and hence from the learning) there isn't much else a teacher can do. Parents should be supporting the teacher as suggested above, by expressing disappointment to the children and perhaps introducing some rewards/consequences for good/bad reports from the teacher going forward.

By the way I am a teacher, but I am also a parent of a somewhat challenging 6 year old boy who tends to chat/fail to listen. I have nothing but huge sympathy for his teacher and want to help but I do not have any magic solutions. I do know however that telling her it's her problem isn't going to solve things...

It's hard all round.
There is nothing the parent can do when the child is in school, and the teacher is trying to teach a class so can't stop for one child.
My dd is almost 5 and is on SEN register for behavioural difficulties as it is, but can also be chatty and disruptive. The school have found my dd responds to rewards. Stickers or smiley faces for not chatting during carpet time or assembly. I convert stickers to magazines or small toys or crafty bits like mor stickers or colouring books.

I don't think there is an easy answer. I bet most people could remember one bit of their school report and it saying 'could be more attentive/less chatty in class'

Best of luck!

Personally I would be telling my child I was very disappointed in them and telling them that I would be asking the teacher every day (at pick up time) if they had behaved...And if they hadn't then x sanction would happen (loss of wii play time etc)...

Reallytired when I said DS is always chatty I meant at home etc. This is the first time I have been told directly that he is like it in class. I am fully supportive of the teacher's decision. I just would have liked it brought to my attention earlier before it got this far. I have told him I am disappointed and have implemented a punishment that I deem suitable. A reward system will also be set up for each week that pass without incident. Hopefully this will work.
Good luck ilovelilos

Many thanks to all for some very sound advice and good luck too DUSTIN.
Xx