Not very PC but I'm worried about my first impression of DD's Primary School

[MJandherdog]

Thank you for taking the time to read this...I'm not really sure if I'm after a bit of advice or just want to get some very un PC things off my chest...

My DD started reception class at our local primary school on Monday and thus far is having a lovely time. My concern (here's the un PC bit) is that it's a large school with a large catchment area and with the exception of a few (less than 5) there are no 'people like us'. The vast majority appear to be Jeremy Kyle types and I'm a bit concerned (read a lot concerned) about the sort of influence these parents/ children will have on my daughter. Without going into loads of detail, they are the sort who walk to school at 0830 with a can of coke, haven't brushed their hair, look v.dirty before school has even started etc.

I know this makes me sound very snobby. I'm not, I just want my DD to be surrounded by decent, hard-working types. I don't get that vibe at the moment...

Should I follow my heart and look elsewhere? The school has a fairly good reputation but nothing that would be worth clinging on for...

Any thoughts/ opinions greatly appreciated...

PS before anyone really gets the wrong impression about me, this is not about level of income/ perecieved wealth.

Am I going to be first with a ?!

Yay!

I think clean, well-presented DCs who have had a decent breakfast before tipping up to Reception is not too wild an expectation.

< ignores biscuits >

I'd never underestimate the potency of a first impression. But I'd be one of the unbrushed scruffy people you're writing off (though I'd be swigging coffee not cola). Look to what is happening inside the classroom for decisions about where your DD will thrive. And try to look beyond the first impressions at the school gates.

What you may not be seeing is that many of the professional parents drop kids off with friends and childminders who then drop the kids off.

And you'll find out the true balance of the school at things like carol concerts when the more uppity parents will be out in force.

School gates are NOT a good guide to parental "class"

Just to be a bit more understanding, as we can all get unduly worried about our DCs, whenever any such un-PC thoughts creep into my head (as they are bound to do for some of us, given upbringing/influences/media), I remember a very good reply I once read on here from someone saying: 'what are you worried about - that your DC will catch something?' And of course they won't. Whatever backgrounds your child's classmates have, it will just add your DCs range of life experience in the long run, and in the shorter term, they won't catch lack of hygiene or laziness or coke-for-breakfastness or whatever our darkest fears are. Especially at this age, and for some years to come, you will be the big influence, so there's no reason for your DC not to be decent, hard-working etc etc. Course it might be nicer for you to have more people like you amongst the parents, we have some of that too, but I also found it weird looking around schools where all the other parents were like us. Ideally you want a mix, and 5 out of 30 is okay.

Oh, and it's 'fewer than 5' not 'less than' :)

'Just to be a bit more understanding'

I was very slow writing my reply. There was only a solitary biscuit at the time.

Coke is a perfectly acceptable breakfast. YABU.

This sounds very like DS' school. There are two distinct 'populations' in the school, as it takes in children from two very different estates. Enough said.

I am more than happy with the school. DS has made some lovely friends there - including some from very disadvantaged backgrounds. He has also comes across some children who are little shts - from both 'sides of the fence'. The little sht who knocked three of his teetch out last year comes from a very 'professional' background.

There are advantages to this type of school. I bet this school doesn't have one of these ridiculous 'healthy pack lunch' policies where they aren't allowed white bread and can only bring in cake if it's home made.

DS will, most likely, be attending the local church secondary. The intake is, by and large, white and middle class. I think it is really important that, at some stage in his school life, he comes into contact with people from many different backgrounds. He needs to learn that not everyone in life lives in a detached house, goes on all-inclusive holidays to Turkey and has grandparents who can buy them a DS for Christmas.

I work very hard in a responsible job and many times dropped off/picked up mine whilst drinking coke. I'd be more worried about my child mixing with the child of a not very bright snob.

Yup
OP's school is not likely to come out with food lists that ban cheddar sandwiches but allow smoked salmon bagels !!

Can I just point out it is quite acceptable for adults to drink coke at 8.30, but not children.

Coke is a great hangover cure.

Thanks for your advice. As I thought, I'm just being a bit precious aren't I?

Having said that, the minute she asks if Keanu-Mackenzeigh can come over for turkey twizzlers and chips, she's off to the nearest convent!

I actually meant something similar to this - the stones are about 1.5cm. It sits just under the collarbone. Maybe I'm biased cos I love it, though - chose it for my birthday and it's just so different to anything I've liked before.

oops
www.beaverbrooks.co.uk/product/8018/silver-multi-coloured-stone-set-necklace-44cm-sn0721

sorry - wrong thread - not enough coke to wake me up today!!

Pah! Those pesky count nouns!

My 2 DDs attend a school very much like this and they both love it. If the teachers have a good grip on discipline and get the children of whatever background to try their best and bullying is dealt with promptly I think you don't need to worry. I find it quite moving to see how well all the children get on together irrespective of academic, racial or economic background. The school isn't perfect, but I think my children benefit in ways than cannot be measured by assessments such as SATS. It might be different if you were talking about secondary school when the academic rat race hots up, but at early primary age I think the parents are the most important/significant influence on their kids.

This sounds like my daughters school, we live on a council estate where some homes are owned. My only advice to you would be get to know the other families and DO NOT judge on the way people seem. I moved to where I live ten years ago and was a bit daunted at first (a grew up in a very rural area) but the people I have met are the most lovely, kind, generouse people I have ever met and there is a real sence of comunity.

They're probably only drinking coke that early because they overdid the Lambrizzle the night before OP, nothing to worry about.

Is it the parents drinking coke at 8.30am you have a problem with?

I drink coke at that time in the morning, interleaved with coffee that would kill a small horse. I dress pretty casually, don't wear make up and may or may not have done something with my hair. Entirely honestly the general outward appearance is quite ramshackle and you might even catch me having a cheeky fag when DS is not around.

I am a senior teacher with an Oxbridge degree. I have a stable marriage with another Oxbridge educated senior teacher. DS is bright, interested in learning and has good social skills.

I wouldn't write the kids off on the impression their parents give at 8.30am!

Thanks JKB1. I shall try to look for the positives, afterall variety is the spice of life n'est pas?

It's not specifically the coke drinking at 0830 EBDTeacher. It's their general Jeremy Kyle-esque demeanour. I'm looking for the positives now...maybe I'll invite Keanu-Mackenzeigh over afterall.

Thanks again for the advice!

MJ, I understand what your concerns are. However, there are plenty of other 'anti-social' behaviours shown by more middle class parents at drop off.

One mum in particular, always insists on parking on the zig-zag lines outside the school. Her hair, nails and everything else always look absolutely perfect (too perfect in fact - without any hint of jealousy). There is simply no way she could walk up the hill to school in those heels!

I wouldn't even notice parents drinking coke in the morning but must admit I do not like the children with a gregs sausage roll for breakfast.

I did catch one year 10 student whose packed lunch conisted of a pint-sized paper cup full of pick n mix.

Delightful.

I would hate to have been his teacher at any time in the afternoon.