Not very PC but I'm worried about my first impression of DD's Primary School

[MJandherdog]

Thank you for taking the time to read this...I'm not really sure if I'm after a bit of advice or just want to get some very un PC things off my chest...

My DD started reception class at our local primary school on Monday and thus far is having a lovely time. My concern (here's the un PC bit) is that it's a large school with a large catchment area and with the exception of a few (less than 5) there are no 'people like us'. The vast majority appear to be Jeremy Kyle types and I'm a bit concerned (read a lot concerned) about the sort of influence these parents/ children will have on my daughter. Without going into loads of detail, they are the sort who walk to school at 0830 with a can of coke, haven't brushed their hair, look v.dirty before school has even started etc.

I know this makes me sound very snobby. I'm not, I just want my DD to be surrounded by decent, hard-working types. I don't get that vibe at the moment...

Should I follow my heart and look elsewhere? The school has a fairly good reputation but nothing that would be worth clinging on for...

Any thoughts/ opinions greatly appreciated...

PS before anyone really gets the wrong impression about me, this is not about level of income/ perecieved wealth.

Would it be more middle class if they snorted it rather than drank it?

I would say you need to move to a posher area which fots more with your prejudices, then you can tell horror stories about your current school at the gate of the new school with the boden-clad yummy mummies

OR if this isn't possible....

You could get over yourself.

I think that if, as a parent, you cannot get your children to school on the first day of term with their hair brushed; their clothes clean, their shoes polished and on time, then you are probably not doing a brilliant job as a parent. By showing children that school is place to be respected, you are communicating that the teachers are to be respected, the property is to be respected etc. It is not a playground. It is not a soft play. Even in Reception, children take their lead from their parents. By turning up drinking cans of coke, unkempt, uniform not clean, they are communicating that school is not that important.

Yes, school results are very important. But it is not too much to expect a school to achieve good results and have children looking presentable. I have no idea in what way this constitutes yummy mummy middle class prejudice. I actually think it is really derogatory to working class people to imply only Boden-clad yummy mummies care about their cildren's appearance.

And I say that as someone who drinks Diet Coke in preference to mineral water every single time.

Sorry Cakebump I'm not Boden clad nor am I middle class. I'm a good old fashioned working class girl with self respect (I don't turn up at my daughters school with my stomach hanging below my t shirt a la mental institute) a few good manners (I don't swear in front of children) and a bit of common sense (I give my dd a good breakfast before setting off for school that doesn't come from a coke can).

I'm not narrow minded enough to think wealth= nice people. The only class these people to which I am referring to belong to is an under class...

Maybe I should move to a nicer area...what's your postcode ;-)

In Reception year I reckon the best outcome for the children is that they finish the year enjoying going to school, join in with the routines and requests and have had a crack at making friends. It sounds like your daughter is off to a good start so don't worry just yet. For the first few months just ask yourself if she seems to be happy and that I think is enough for now.

At what point, and on which of these infestation threads, are we supposed to shout 'Bingo!'?

"As I thought, I'm just being a bit precious aren't I?"

No, you're being a total snob.

Just to be clear - who's unkempt and drinking Coke prior to school? The kids or the parents?

you are not narrow minded enough to think wealth = nice people
but you are to use the the phrase 'stomach hanging below my t-shirt a la mental institute'

I dont wish to sound common but are you fucking serious?

Um mental institute ? Que ?

This is the second thread this week. Identical.

Oh, a goader, gotcha MrsDV, thanks for headsup

Your first impression? What sort of a parent are you?
Didn't you bother finding out anything about the catchment area, do any visits before choosing a school for your child, find out what sort of impression you had before sending her? Too much effort?

'I don't turn up at my daughters school with my stomach hanging below my t shirt a la mental institute'

Sorry Raisin, meant the thread was indentical to another one, I am not sure if its the same OP :)

Seems to be a hell of a lot of angst amoungst genteel mothers aghast at their DC's new peers.

When I was dropping off DS at his new school this week I found my self scanning the parents. Not for signs of ghastliess and early morning coke consumptions, I was just trying to work out who would be rushing home to start a thread about me and the other low lifes.

Did you not the visit the school before you applied for a place?

Send your child to boarding school then you don't have to deal with the ghastly parents everyday.

You tend to notice the noisy children and parents a lot more than the quiet ones. For the obvious reason that noise is noisier.

Also, you tend not to see the children who are being whisked off to piano lessons, gym or staying on at after school clubs.

At my dds school there are lots of lovely parents and children but you only notice those who are kicking-off about something.

Worry about what's going on inside the school and not outside.

Just to add - I'm a Cambridge graduate but generally turn up to the school gate absolutely filthy, smelly, and wet. (a result of my job)

My children look appalling at the end of the day but behave well and seem to be quite clever.

Intrigued as to what catinhat does for a living...

Honestly, I think peers become the single most influential thing on children once school starts.

As for 'gives your child a richer' life, more experience rubbish, I just don't get that mentality.

Mental institution? Underclass? Jeremy Kyle type?

Really? Really?

Have you seen the entire school parents to know that there are fewer than 5 families like yourself? Or have you noticed one or two and built your ridiculous assumptions based on that?

I'm struggling to advise you. I'm struggling with the theory that because someone is drinking a can of coke or has messy hair, that makes them the workshy underclass
Do you know any of these people? Do you know if they are indeed workshy?

I think the best thing for your situation is to move to another area. Either that, or get to know these underclass, workshy, Jeremy Kyle rejects
You might be surprised?

ok how about this? my dd used to attend a primary school like this and while there were many aspects of it I was happy with, the day that one of the Jeremy Kyle-ites threatened to set his dog on my DD and I just outside the school gates was the day I decided to find another school.

Our school is socially diverse with fewer representations from the higher social strata. We have had incidents parents fighting and using drugs in the playground and other less dramatic parenting fails. There are a few children with rotten stubs for teeth, some who have crisps and chocolate everyday... certainly some families are having a better time than others but it's a great school, warm friendly and fun. My children have made great friends and parents have been kind enough to see past my grubby attire and unkempt hair and made me welcome too.

There are some children I hope my kids don't really want to become best friends with but if you think you can recognise them by their accent, teeth or clothing you are definitely wrong. If you think you won't find them in every school you would be wrong again.