I feel I know so little about what and how DS (7) does at school - I want to see more of his work!

[gabsid]

I supported my DS all last year in maths and he progressed well. However, at the end of Y2 his teacher send home some worksheets and old tests. This was sooo helpful! I could see where he is going wrong much better than just practicing randomn Y2 topics.

We never saw any work, e.g. exercise books with targets and work in it. When speaking to his teacher over the year I could see that they are doing several worksheets per week but I never saw any of that work - it would have been helpful to see what he does in school and to support him.

It would have been great if these worksheets would have been stuck in an exercise book or folder and send home with the homework tasks - they had an extra homework book for only homework.

I find it quite irritating not to see any of DC work at school? Can I expect any change next year in junior school?

Thanks sancerreity

Why do none of you trust school to teach your kids?

Why do you feel you have to support your kids so much?

Are you going to continue with this level of support forever?

Snap indigobell. We don't send books home as we had parents query every little thing. Times that by 30.

We do, however, have parents evenings and open evening and send home assessment levels each term. Also, if you haveva specific query you can write it in the communication book we have that goes back and forth each day (many, many children forget thus very often; imagined if that was their maths or English exercise book?!)

God- please excuse the typos.

Thank goodness I have chatty children, and chatty teachers (mind you, I'm a bit chatty too). I hear everything in great detail, and the homework usually clarifies what they tell me.

I think it is about building good relationships with the teacher, so that you are not seen as pushy or controlling.

Have you tried asking?
I don't get many parents asking how they can help-most parents are just happy that their child is keen to come to school and making progress-but if any do, then I tell them!
I did once, (when I was keen and enthusiastic) send home information every week about what we were covering and how parents could help, until some parents complained to the Head that I "wasn't doing my job" and that it wasn't their role to teach their child, it was mine! You can't win for trying

I completely agree with OP.
At my dcs school we get to see the books twice a year (quickly!) so no help for a day to day support.
We get their book a year later so at the end of Y", dc2 got his Y1 books.... Not very helpful if you want to do some support work during the summer hols or at the start of the following year.

I really like the following comments:
-Why do none of you trust school to teach your kids?

-don't you get to see what he is doing for homework? IME it is practising what they were doing in class, so if they struggle, you know there is a problem.

-We don't send books home as we had parents query every little thing. Times that by 30.

So, books aren't coming back because ... the teacher would be inundating by questions from parents and that's NG. And you can 'see' what they do from homework (which has been set up at the child level and therefore will not say if he is behind or not).

I agree, I have seen some school having excellent communication system with weekly letter telling the parents what they have done in the week, where some children have some issues (then you can check with them) and going though what is going top happen in the following week (teaching, outings etc...).
Having shown to one school that way of doing thing, I can promise you that it wasn't well received and I was told I didn't trust the teacher, etc... well exactly what some teachers have just said on here.

The reality is, some parents don't care. *Some parents do care and will go one more mile to support their dcs and others will just do the minimum.
It is a shame if you stop the ones who want to go the extra mile to do so.

For myself, I've always felt self concious to go and ask to see the books... because:
1- I know I will be seen as pushy (The 'don't you trust the teacher?' is coming to mind)
2- I know I will annoy the teacher by asking regularly if my child doesn't have major issues
3- Actually seeing the books isn't enough because if the child is at the 'right level' and it is the bottom set, 1- you won't know about it and 2- you still won't know what he is supposed to do..... So it means actually asking any more questions that the teacher, I am sure, will not like to hear every month or so.

YY.I want my dcs to have a teacher to teach them but expecting said teacher to be able to give individual support is unrealistic. Then why shouldn't I be able to give that to them if I wish to do so?

To be fair, when dc2 had some major problems in Y1, the teacher was fantastic. She spent hours with me reviewing where he was, what I could do with him etc... That and spending time with him doing some work at home meant he was 'average' at the end of the year. In effect he did 2+ years in his Y1.

But then how do you think it would look like if I was doing the same for dc2 now, who, is apparently 'average' for his age (ie not for any child in Y2 but for one who is born at the end of the year, so therefore not 'expected' to do as much). If I wanted to support him when he is 'average' (read OK, good enough??), is that for any other reason than because I am a pushy parent who wants his dc to be better than anyone else?? Even though it was well known he ad some major issues, prob still has some (because of what the issues were) but as it not as obvious, he is 'fine' and 'has caught up' so no more problems???

Seriously, I know it would not be well received.

I think you should want your child to do their best, whatever that looks like.
I supported my DD at home, and she was G&T, I supported DS at home and he has AS and struggled with a lot of new concepts. Ability shouldn't really come into it.

Im having similar problems myself dd just finished year 1.

in reception on 2nd parent evening said i was concerned about her nopt wanting to read and do set homework was just phonics and reading then.

I was told not to panic, dont worry, she will progress.

I ask hows she with numbers-shes fine she enjoys maths.

cue year 1 we had 2parents evenings

1st parents evening sent hubby who came home and said teacher said she was good doing fine.

The homework increased to 2-3books a week.
had no idea what level she was on was a good one.
her reading had improved and the books she brought home she reads with ease I suspect as she read them that day in school.

The spellings-shes had been doing great 8/9/10 most weeks.

The numercay was one work sheet a week which some weeks she struggled with .

at 2nd parents evening was told shes getting extra help with reading with ta .

That her maths needs to improve so tried to do random bits but was stab in dark.
would have been better if she had pinpointed specific areas.

I get end of term report and shes got 1b for writing, reading, numercacy and science.

my daughter tells me shes near bottom levels for reading and near bottom of class-the school doesnt tell me that.
realised most peopple in her class on higher numbers.

I tried to speak to teacher end of term but she was ill.
the ta said shes fine 1bs fine.
the school website tells me the expected average is 1a at end of year 1.

By end of year 2 she needs to be least 2b so needs to climb 3sublevels next year.

I oly know about the nc as asked here and looked online none of this was explained at parents evening.

I see younger kids in year on higher levels and acheiving 1a, 2c and feel like I failed.

I trusted the school.
I dident interfere.
i did the set homework.
we asked questions at parents evening.

i was such a non pushy parent.

some were always hovering to interrogate the teacher to the point she put up large poster on class room window saying I dont have time to speak to parents in morning book an appointment. rarly see her after school as ta let them out.

After parents evening we could look round their clasroom at their pictires all looked pretty just dident get much useful content.

Whats more revealing is on last day term shes come home with whole folder of old year 1 worksheets. nearly every one says needed lots of help hasent completed independantly which rings more alarm bells than the 1b. her maths seems much worse than her reading. her writing could be tidier granted, not sure whats wrong with sceince?

shes a bit of a daydreamer, easily distracted,s he responds well to one to one and postive praise.

she doesnt seem confident or how teachers would call secure in her knowledge. she breezed through prechool was confident.
shes very much aware at 6 that theres differnt levels as the teachers tend to group the ability groups into colours or names and they all sit on same table, parents dont know whats what we never told.

just when i asked how many reading levels there were and where mine was on the average scale of year ta got all shuffly.

As long as shes happy and doing her best im happy.
but dont think shes happy becauise shes not confident and worry about her falling behind and not acheiving her potential.

I dont think she has special needs.
I dont feel shes gifted.
shes just average in schools terms but super special to me.
shes always well behaved and can be quiet so worry she will just coast along and i be in same way end of year 2once sats grades are releseased.

we trying to to bits in hols.
but dont wnat to overwork her it is the holidays shes seemd tired and burnt out end of summer term.

we joined the libary reading challange.-so read few more books.

done some crafts/drawing

practiced writing and been to museum.

we now need to start on maths this week decided to get some work booklets when in town next week.

we have let her play some simple education games on laptop.

but now need to work out whats the issue.

Will book an appointment with head when go back.
mostly im happy with the school.

yes i know some parents dont give a monkeys

but if had chance to help 6months ago then I would have,

too late telling me in end of term report the years gone.

even contemplating-know swear word on here kumon.

mam, I know... What set alarm bells for me was the teacher saying in passing that dc2 was sometime working with the TA as a 1-1.
But apart from that passing comment everything was fine....

I came back home and though. No that can't be right. If he is getting 1-1, then someting is really wrong. Went back to see her, ask the question outright 'Is dc2 having problems? Why is he getting 1-1?' Then she started to talk and explain.

The problem is that some parents are getting quite upset if they are told their dc isn't doing well and will give the teacher a hard time. Even when the problem is such that the school though there was a need for a SALT evaluation.

So teachers are worried (see comments upthread). Parents sometimes don't want to know. Which means that the ones who do are left in the dark...:(

what bugged me is was informed she was in spevial group with few other pupils and ta doing reading. she has been doing it for about 2weeks prior to parents evening no letter home to say this or appointment with kids affected.

my eldest says she was moved down a reading level but ta not sure whate she meant by that.
I then asked why she wasnet in reading group still as it had really helped and was then informed oh the groups was for only 8weeks they dont have the resources to do in year out.

I fear because shes not the worst she wont progress as theres kids in more need than her and few with parents who dont care. thats not genralisation its small primary I know all the parents saw one shopping with 2healthy looking boys on a school day.Shes the type that gets abusive with the teacher. A lot of parentts do seem to get agressive and confrontational when told kids behind.

I dont expect her to be a genuis just want her to try her best and reach potential.

I dont want to be veiwed as interefering pushy parent.
i fear that will happen as cant repeat what we did last year..

will be booking appointment to speak to head want to propose flexi schooling as do feel that one to one time one day a week will really help and boost her confidence but have to get head to agree and all the other parents will think im a weirdo.

I have other freinds who use other schools and dont know many that 100%happy everyone has their niggles as every school has positives /negatives. hoping can work it out as have the 2younger ones to start school.

I seriously mean every little thing though, pedantic and useless things (god I wish i remembered some!!)

I don't understand why as parents you can't check with the teacher where they come in relation to the rest if the class? Then you'll know (if you haven't been told already, which we do in a termly basis), whether they're above/below or spot on average. Then... Go to smiths and get a book appropriate for the age group, if school are being less than supportive... Then you'll know what your child should be able to do.

' (god I wish i remembered some!!)'

It's usually about the marking and why you haven't picked up every grammatical and spelling error within a piece.
Or wondering why they have to learn more than one way to approach a maths problem, when the way that they know works.
Or asking what the point of each piece of humanities work is, or disagreeing with a marking comment intended to move the pupil on in their learning that the parent feels is harsh, or not understanding something that their child has understood and questioning it, or telling you how you should be teaching a specific item or body of knowledge, or comparing their own experience of school with the lesser experience you are offering their child. Or saying that their target is useless because they can already do whatever it is you have set as the target.
That's before they start asking about levels, sublevels, points progress and what is their child's position within the class.

Blackholes - knowing where your child is in relation to the rest of the class will only tell you whether they are above/below or spot on average, compared with that class. What if the whole class is average or below average? Are you expecting the teacher to tell you that too? Would you be happy for all the other parents to know that your child is below average?

Thank you FallenCaryatid yes indeed, the spelling and grammar issues which aren't a marking focus of that particular work; with all due respect it's probably hard to completely understand what we do and why we do it, if not a trained teacher oneself (sorry if that offends...)

As regards your comment littlefish; we tell parents what level their child should be achieving by the end of the year, and a quick rundown of how sublevels work. Perhaps it was worded wrong (or my brain is in summer mode!) but I would make it clear where the child was in relation to national expectations rather than the class as such. Wouldnt dream of discussing any other child with parents but I know how nosey parents are and I know many of them drag out the reports/levels before even leaving the playground so they can be compared.

Rest assured I did once have a mum who thought her son was the brains of Britain and it took some convincing for her to accept that he wasn't top of the class. Good teachers will be honest in a very constructive way. If your teachers aren't jerking you informed of problems, then you need to raise the issue with them.

Keeping you informed- not jerking!! Argh!

Blackholes -Phew . Enjoy your summer!

Ok....

Agree with Fallen... some parents want to know/help/support, other parents couldn't care less. I've taught in 'high achieving' schools (if you care what the league tables say), and struggling 'special measures' schools. I am a parent - my DS is not yet 2 so a couple more years before he starts school.

The bottom line: Is your child happy? Is your child enjoying something at school? Is your child making progress (NOT matched against what the rest of the class are doing, it's NOT a competition to be the best)? Are there activities that your child prefers over others?

Unless your child is a robot (thank the government for that) he/she will progress at the rate suited to him/her. The government determines that children should be level blah blah blah by the time they reach whatever year, but they are just CHILDREN!! Let them be kids, let them enjoy school and childhood.

• Homework is usually related to activities from that school week OR tasks that your child needs extra practice in.
• Schools hold x number of parents' evenings each school year - you should see books, work etc each time so you should be able to see their progress as you look through. At each parents' evening you should be asked if you have any concerns - VOICE THEM! If the teacher has any concerns (i.e your child is struggling with something) then he/she should tell you, and yes he/she should advise how you can help, what the next steps are and so on. I'm surprised this is not commonplace...
• You are fully entitled to ask to see your kids' work at any time if you have concerns. Most teachers will agree and find a mutually convenient date/time (you cannot expect to rock up unexpected and see the work - after school clubs and other after school commitments just don't grant that sort of flexibility, sadly). But most teachers WILL make time for you, and will be pleased you are supporting your child.

Teachers appreciate that all kids are different and yet have many similarities - it's a paradox. Parents become 'pushy' because of the manner or nature of their request. A simple "could I chat to you sometime about Fred's work" should suffice!

At the end of the day, we choose to be teachers because we want to help kids and inspire them to be great in any way. Gordon Brown couldn't spell yet he led the country (eh hem... no further comments, don't want to get political!!!)

I wish more parents cared. MOST teachers do.
xx

I asked if I could see what writing DS was producing at school, I was shown some work he had done that week.

Littlefish- thanks!

UniS- exactly- it's as simple as that!

OvenReady- whilst I agree wholeheartedly that children should make progress suited to them, each child is an individual etc etc (believe me I do; I enjoyed sen teaching when I did it because it wasn't all about the league tables...) I do think it's important that progress is quantified by levels because if it isn't, how are parents meant to know if children could be doing better, or if there is a specific problem? Parents who are not trained teachers and who perhaps have nobody else with whom to compare their first born or only child might miss something. Their child may be popular, happy, learning to read etc but still be bottom of the class in reading ability therefore need some extra help or just for parents to be aware, and to step up the reading at home.

But sublevels tell you almost nothing.

A) because it takes terms to move up a sublevel

B) they're subjective

C) they won't be at the same sublevel for every part of the subject.

It you want to know where your child is in detail (which is what this thread is about) a sublevel won't help.

I don't think it is a difference between prep and state. My DCs always brought their old books home at the end of each school year.
I thought it was common on parent's evening to have all the DCs books to look through, it has been at every school I have worked in.
I would just go in and ask to see the book.