Nasty school report

[bubblyblonde]

I have a DS in year 6 (just left) who has attended what had always seemed fantastic school in north london.

However this school report has said that he has made 'Hurtful and Unkind' comments to his peers. As this is his final report I am very upset. His report in general is very negative and we are so upset that we are planning to tear it up, however I can't seem to forget about it, as he is such a kind and popular character.

Do you think I should persue this, especially as my DD is still there for 3 years.

Is his teacher allowed to put this on his report? It seemed spiteful.

Oh weird - it seems that if you post on a thread which had your old username it has you posting under that name. I havent used MarthasHarbour for years.

Ah well - i am still anonymous then!

It's a newish feature to stop name change fails.

Ah thanks, yeah I like it

To be honest OP, and I know you are smarting from the report, but some of the comments you have posted about the school, other pupils and the teacher fall pretty heavily onto the “hurtful and unkind” side of the fence imo.

You have let the ball drop with regard to your sons behaviour, and it is possible that he has taken your lack of interest and concern to continue with rudeness and poor attitude.

You need to make sure that

a) he knows without any possible doubt that you don’t approve of the behaviours and attitude he has shown

and

b) that you make it your business to work with the secondary school to improve his behaviour. I would tell the school that there were issues, they need to be aware of them to make sure they aren’t continuing.

@viques Thread is 11 years old.

Whoops! Does this mean I need to look for the thread saying “my child’s university tutors have picked on him and downgraded what should have been a first class honours to a 2:2 and are alleging he has bullied other students”

😄

Several things come to my mind;

• in your dealings with school through the last year, have you been made aware at any point by school that they have had to send your DS to the Head or he has been spoken to by any member of staff about any incidents? This could be through an email, letter, telephone call, in a previous report or in person or note in homework planner. If so, how have you responded to this information both with school and with son?
• Are you choosing to wholly believe your DS and disbelieve the school? You mention your DS says he saw the head and then the other person had to apologise to him…. but can you be sure this is the correct version of events?
• Are you interested in knowing the truth about what happened or purely in defending your DS?

Of course information such as that you’ve quoted can be included in reports. It should only be included if it is true and it is good and usual form to let parents know about serious incidents ahead of school reports, but there is nothing to prevent factual information being recorded. It might well be that school has actually had some kind of communication with you previously about incidents which have occurred.

It seems odd to me and unusual that this is genuinely the first time you’ve heard that your DS has had some issues at school. As he starts secondary, it’s time to seriously think about his behaviour and also about the way you relate to the new school, so that you can work together and you can support each other. You really don’t want to be writing a similar MN post at the end of yr7 and deciding the school has it in for your DS. Some honest self reflection and consideration of your DS and your own relationship with school would be really useful. This will play a key role in helping your DS have a successful time at secondary school. Parents who don’t support school and defend their child regardless are often a key cause of the difficulties children have.

OOps - just spotted the thread is ancient!
Ha! Wondering if the OP had similar experiences through secondary ….