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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Star of the week :(

86 replies

ramblinrose · 17/07/2012 11:54

Ok, this may seem petty, but I just want to get it off my chest.

DS3 is 7 (yr 3). One child in each class gets to be star of the week. I would imagine it is for good behaviour, trying hard, being helpful etc.
There are 27 children in his class. They are at school for 40 weeks of the year.

Now, DS hasn't had star of the week at all this year.
His recent report says that is behaviour is very good, as is his effort, progress etc.
He is meeting his targets, and on the whole, in my opinion has had a pretty good yr3.

He is not one to really bother that much about these things, and, normally I don't either. Things would have to be a lot more serious than this for me to go into school all guns blazing.

I suppose it's just niggling me a bit.
Does anyone think that children of middle ability who don't misbehave can sometimes slip under the radar?

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kilmuir · 17/07/2012 11:57

Yes, think the middle of road children do sometimes get forgotten.
Do you have to send in a return slip that you have received the report? If so i would write something about ' shame his consistant good behaviour never earnt himthe star of the week '

butisthismyname · 17/07/2012 11:57

I get cross about this too sometimes. DD has been 'star of the week' a couple of times, but it does tend to be the same names most weeks. I try to explain to her that it means more for children who may have to work a lot harder than she does to attain good work etc, but it still rankles... Perhaps, in a way, it's not a bad thing not to be star of the week as it means everything is going fine

adeucalione · 17/07/2012 12:00

This has happened to two children in DS's class this year, and I know that one of those mothers went in last week to complain.

And actually, I think that she was right to do so - not a 'guns blazing' complaint, but more of a gentle reminder, because the teacher should really be able to arrange things so that every child achieves the award at least once.

I know that this particular teacher was mortified - she had been keeping a list, but misplaced it and so was working from memory. My friend's child won it yesterday and was delighted, having no idea that it was in response to her mother's complaint.

Sparklingbrook · 17/07/2012 12:04

DS got one at the end of term without fail for 'trying hard'. I believe the teacher kept a book and ticked them off. She didn't think much of DS so he never got one for achieving anything, just trying so his name was unticked at the end of each term.

They get 'boast cards' at High School-through the post.

Pooka · 17/07/2012 12:04

It doesn't sound petty. We have similar at our school, though 2 children from each class get star of the week and this term it's linked to behaviour in line with the Olympic philosophy.

Dd is one of the dcs who tend to get it more often than others. Ds1, not so much. Difference is that it seems to be related to the child doing something exceptional. With ds1 all his targets are based on social skills, because that's what he seems to be weakest at. So he can do brilliant work, have miserable time though and not get recognition for the academic side, because that's his natural strong point. The real problem is that he probably has aspergers and to a certain extent his social weaknesses are such that he's on a hiding to nothing in fitting the school's round holes.

I got fed up a few weeks ago and raised (yet again) how miserable he is at the moment with his class teacher. Bingo the following Friday he was star of week.

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain · 17/07/2012 12:07

DD had it once, (she is in reception) but as soon as she handed the certificate over she said that everyone just takes it in turns to be 'star of the week', it didn't mean much to her really.

I imagine that the children with more challenging behaviour may be more likely to get it, to reward them when they have made a good effort? Then the usually 'good' children just plod along. DD is a 'good girl' at school - if only she was as well behaved at home!

ReelAroundTheFountain · 17/07/2012 12:15

We had a similar thing recently with ds1 (reception). Two children every week get it. Ds1 had it once ages ago and I'd noticed that some children have had it quite a few times including the naughtiest boy in the class

To start with I wasn't bothered. I knew it was a 'made-up' award meant to cover all and that really its probably more important to give it to the 'naughty' children to encourage them. But the more I thought about it it annoyed me. If its a cover all award then everyone should get an equal go at it. I know ds1 is well behaved and so was getting missed.

DH spoke to the teacher who said as she has her non teaching time on a Monday morning (when the awards are given out) she doesn't usually decide it but instead the teacher who covers her does . DS1 got it yesterday

It cannot be beyond the wit of man to make a note of who has and hasn't had it can it?

Original poster

ramblinrose · 17/07/2012 12:16

Thanks everyone. Sometimes I worry that things seem petty when they're not.
Although he doesn't say much about it, I suppose it must get disheartening every Friday hoping your name will be called out and then it isn't.

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DorisIsWaiting · 17/07/2012 12:22

This really gets my goat. DD1 is in year 2 has had star learner ONCE in 3 years. Her reports all come back saying how good she is etc etc. but she is middle of the road. not struggling or over achiving.

DD2 is in reception and again the same she has had nothing.

I don't know whether to be or

spammertime · 17/07/2012 12:31

We had the same problem. In the end I said to DS he should ask the teacher why he was never star of the week (he is only 4 so it probably sounded quite pathetic). Funnily enough the next week he got it.

I am another parent who understands why these sorts of schemes are in place - but also find it quite hard explaining to a 4 year old why naughty Danny got star of the week for sitting nicely when "I always sit nicely, mummy"!

cocolepew · 17/07/2012 12:31

This used to happen to my DD. She was very quiet, very good and very studious. But it was always the 'naughty' children who finally handed a piece of homework in who got them.

Being on the PTA and being gobby I soon got it sorted .

Now she's in high school she gets merits, boast cards through the post, I've had teachers phone me to say how good a piece of work was. The merits add up to prizes as well. She has low self esteem and things like this help her enormously.

tribpot · 17/07/2012 12:35

Exact same thing here. I don't think ds has been star of the week at all this year :( I had assumed they made sure everyone in the class got it at least once, but ho hum. Ds doesn't seem that bothered about it, I should add, I just like to see his name in the weekly newsletter

He's had a few real struggles - not so much with the academic work but with dealing with changes in routine like the day he has recorder club at lunchtime - it used to really stress him out, having to remember to have an early lunch and go to a classroom instead of the playground. His confidence took a big knock as a result (I think because he went too early to the classroom one week and they sent him away, so he thought he'd done something wrong). His teacher was very sympathetic and we got a postcard saying how well he was doing at recorder club, but I would have liked to have seen him to win star of the week for sticking with it.

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain · 17/07/2012 12:36

You can't win DD got an award last week - three children per class got one and she got the second prize. I have no idea whether she deserved or not really but felt guilty in case she got it because I am a parent governor

I doubt it though, because actually I have been rather a PITA

LadyWellian · 17/07/2012 12:38

My DD never got in the 'Gold book' in seven years at primary school. I think it bothered me more than it did her.

CakesnKids · 17/07/2012 12:58

Does anyone think that children of middle ability who don't misbehave can sometimes slip under the radar?

Yes, without a doubt. By year 11 I was sick of it went totally off the rails, but got help, support and attention that I needed. Completely screwed up my gcse's as I just didn't think there was a point, I wasn't top of the class or one of the naughty kids. I couldn't become top of the class so I became one of the naughty kids. Totally cringe now and wish I hadn't done it (was partly due to depression)
Please talk to your child's teacher, its so unfair that good kids go unnoticed.

CakesnKids · 17/07/2012 12:59

(I also never seemed bothered so my parents never did anything)

Original poster

ramblinrose · 17/07/2012 13:00

I'm wondering whether I should ask him to ask the teacher why he hasn't been star of the week, but that would be making a big thing of it.
I doubt if he would do it anyway!

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Original poster

ramblinrose · 17/07/2012 13:02

Cake That is so sad. I think you've just made up my mind for me!

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Catsdontcare · 17/07/2012 13:03

Everyone gets to be star of the week at ds's school, a name is picked out of the hat each week and all the children have to write on a certificate one nice thing about the star. Tis very sweet. And the added bonus of no skanky stuffed toy to carry around all week!

jeee · 17/07/2012 13:08

When star of the week comes up on mumsnet, it invariably brings a storm of replies about how their child never gets it and all the badly behaved kids do.

Nobody ever says, 'oh, DD gets it every other week'.

tribpot · 17/07/2012 13:09

Mine too, Cake - I see an uprising of parents all over the land this week! It's report day at ds' school so I shall be asking, in a very nice way, if she was doing it strictly on merit (in which case: okay) or if she forgot.

Doomfinger · 17/07/2012 13:11

My daughter's school is brilliant. I never expected her to get it because she's a naturally well behaved child, so I didn't expect her to do something out of the ordinary to be picked up but I know she's never had it for made up reasons - tell a lie, she was ill when the R class went on a trip which was done by public transport, the whole class was Star of the Week and she got Worker of the Week. She resented it because even aged 4 she knew why she got it.

They also do Star of the Day which is picked out of the hat by yesterday's SotD and it means the help the teacher and then they stand at the front of the class whilst the class call out compliments. I always cry when she brings home her compliments list

ContinentalKat · 17/07/2012 13:13

Dd's teacher, new to the school, came and did "star of the day" in her class.
This, as opposed to a weekly or termly award, seems to be working really well. The turnover is very quick, the reward is more or less instantaneous and the teacher is also really good at dishing them out fairly.

Every once in a while the children ALL deserve to be the star of the day so everybody gets a sweetie instead!

I am very happy with this. Ds, otoh, is in a class with termly certificates. As he's middle of the road he hasn't had one all year.
I really hate the way all the girls get certificates for 'excellent art work'.
Don't like his teacher at all, in case you can't tell...

dizzyday07 · 17/07/2012 13:17

We were getting close to the end of term and DD hadn't been it all year - and we'd noticed that a couple of kids had been it twice - and when I gently asked about it, it turned out that her teacher had make a mistake with her list and hadn't realised DD had been missed. She was mortified and the mistake was corrected on the Friday. Cue happy DD

LettyAshton · 17/07/2012 13:38

It doesn't take the kids five minutes to work out that star of the week/stickers are not worth the paper they're written on. It's all utterly meaningless when there are prizes for all.

At dd's school the remaining children who have not received anything all go up to get their star of the week certificates in the last week of the year. It's ridiculous - are they stars or not? And they have these "award" things which are slips of paper to put in a folder on the wall. After one year the kids all realise they're pointless as everyone - quite coincidentally - ends up with the same number.

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