Star of the week :(

[ramblinrose]

Ok, this may seem petty, but I just want to get it off my chest.

DS3 is 7 (yr 3). One child in each class gets to be star of the week. I would imagine it is for good behaviour, trying hard, being helpful etc.
There are 27 children in his class. They are at school for 40 weeks of the year.

Now, DS hasn't had star of the week at all this year.
His recent report says that is behaviour is very good, as is his effort, progress etc.
He is meeting his targets, and on the whole, in my opinion has had a pretty good yr3.

He is not one to really bother that much about these things, and, normally I don't either. Things would have to be a lot more serious than this for me to go into school all guns blazing.

I suppose it's just niggling me a bit.
Does anyone think that children of middle ability who don't misbehave can sometimes slip under the radar?

I know Letty
I think DS does realize this, so he is not that bothered by it.
When I was at school (a long time ago), we just got stars in our workbooks for good work, good effort etc. One person from each class got a book at the end of the year, and that was it.
So simple but effective.

Dd1 apparently got it a couple of weeks ago but they have RUN OUT OF STAR BADGES so she hasn't actually got anything to show for it. Their names are also usually on the school newsletter but for whatever reason they haven't done this the last fortnight or so. She's waited all year for this (as one of the well-behaved ones) so I am a bit pee'd off about it. I don't think it bothers her though - they never seem to know why they've got it anyway!

Dd1 always works hard, always tries her best, gets good results, never gets into trouble-and usually gets lots of that sort of award, and is always asked to do the speaking parts/presentations/the one to have their photo taken for the paper etc..

Dd2 puts in effort when it fancies her, but is easily distracted, gets good results, rarely gets into trouble-and hardly ever to never gets that sort of reward. In fact I had to point out to her teacher that she hadn't had it this year after the teacher had said to her she had She very rarely gets picked to do something special, she only gets that sort of thing when it's done by everyone gets a turn.

Ds is euphemistically lively, by which I mean he doesn't do sitting still, and gets himself (with other euphemistically lively boys) into trouble, academically he's fine, but socially he needs a lot of work-he gets lots of awards, to the point that I have been embarrassed.

Dd1 figured out very early (in reception) that a lot of the rewards are either for "not being naughty" or done on a turn basis.
Dd2, thinks they're entirely done on who is the best that week, which is why she gets so upset when she sees someone get it for being good on Friday afternoon-having played up all week.
Ds, is quite happy to receive them but not that bothered. I don't think they make any difference to his behaviour as they aren't immediate enough. They might make a difference if they told him on Monday that he'd get one on Friday if he was good all week, but because they aren't done like that, it has no effect on behaviour for him at all.

i would ask the teacher if this award is ment to be given out to everyone over the year, or if it is just based on an amazing acchievement over the week. if it is ment, like most schools, be given out then they have messed up. but if it is given out purely on a certain criteria (i doubt) then you are confused as ds has clearly made progress and been a credit to his class. our school had some teachers nominating the whole class week after week which means those classes have run out of weeks for the children to have an individual award. my dd only got it a few weeks ago and i was panicking she had been forgotten so let her take her lace making pillow complete with bobbins in so they could see how creative my little womble is! hey presto, the teacher awarded her the star that week!
i love the idea of each child being picked and then the children writting a positive thing on them. might have to suggest that..

So when dd starts school in September, should I complain if she never gets it, or just keep me gob shut? .

Neither of my my dc have had it this yr; they both got the lesser award once (think gold and silver each week), but not the star. didnt really think about it tbh, but now you've set me wondering.....

Plus ca change... In her reception year DD1 (now 24) was the only child never to win the then equivalent of star of the week. She was very quiet and I think just went un-noticed. I did mention it but her dragon teacher just puffed up her not inconsiderable chest and told me that the award was only given on merit. I was rather :-( at the time.

In my experience the best behaved DCs always get it last, because the teacher can always find a reason to give it to them in any given week, so they are safe to leave till the last minute.

If Johnny Bumface's sole bit of good behaviour in an academic year was not kicking anyone under the table for a whole day then he will have to get Star of the Week that week, no matter what anyone else has done.

I'm going to be that rare MNer mentioned upthread who says 'Oh mine gets it all the time'. DS (age 6) has had five of these this year, and numerous 'special' gold stickers etc. He had an enormous gold sticker on the other day when he came back and I asked what he'd got it for. He thought for a second then said 'Do you know Mum, I have absolutely no idea. I think it's all a bit random to be honest with you. Can I put it on my sticker chart though?' (with a hopeful face! His sticker chart is a 'points win prizes' thing we have on our fridge).

But when I was at school I never got any of the awards etc. When my parents went in (and they did go in all guns blazing ) the teacher said 'Oh if we gave one to becstarsky we'd have to give it to her every week so we just don't give her one.' (still, even now... how pathetic!)

So what does this mean? Possibly that my DS is less reliably well-behaved than I was. But I suspect he just has better empathy and social skills than I did and is better at getting the teachers to notice him and like him.

I'd have a gentle word with the teacher for sure if I were you.

My daughter's school only has two awards that are one person from each class (year, small school) a week but they have several that go to anyone who has earned them and I've seen half the school stand up in assembly because they've all won one of the awards. Any time a child is proud of their work they can ask to go and see HT or DHT for a gold sticker. I love it when I'm in the HT's office and you can hear the kids coming!

Sorry but I had to say it: our son was given it recently after he had only attented TWO days that week due to illness

I am sure it's pure lottery!!

Have a quiet word with the teacher - I'm sure they'd be horrified that your DS has been overlooked. In 9/10 cases it is an honest mistake on the part of the teacher.

They seem to mean more to the parents than the students. I find them buried in the bookbag - DS does not come out clutching said certificate proudly!

I think we all thought that they would be an infants only thing and would be phased out in juniors. Alas, no.

It is not just middle of the road kids that miss out. They use it as an "encouragement tool" for the problem pupils - doeasn't work really cos after getting it they are straight back to their old ways.

My boys are lucky enough to be bright and have parents who support them which to be fair not all the children do, so I tell them that being always in the top group is not all down to their own hard work (the academic stuff does come pretty easy) - but actually, they do work hard, they have near perfect behaviour and have never lost any Golden time, they haven't been a day absent in 4/5 years are never late etc. Reports are always brilliant.

They do however really struggle to ever get star pupil and it really does make me mad. Personally I think the whole thing is a farce. Only one more year to suffer it and then they'll both be in High school.

YANBU. They should all get it at least once a year, it must be sad if you don't even get it at all!

Wow, so many replies. Thank you all!
Maybe we'll have a wonderful surprise on Friday, and he'll be star of the year

I must say I find it hard for my son when he didn't get it at all and some wee shite has had it twice......and is still a wee shite!!

Dgs school have it on a rota-if it is someone's turn and they have been naughty they wait a week and the next child gets it. In addition the head sends awards for exceptional work/behaviour through the post. The children love receiving these cards and it means that there is no public showing off or showing up.

This used to happen to my DD - some children would get Star of the Week 2 or 3 times a term - in fact one year they were giving away tickets to a new trampline play centre with the award, as agreed at the PTA meeting (that I was at) and DD never received it once . She then got a prize at the end of the year.

DD tends to blend into the background and never got chosen for stuff. Since she has been at Secondary School it is more of a level playing field.

Yes, all my DDs are 'middle of the road', quiet, conscientious etc and have mostly been ignored in their classes while more badly behaved/gobby kids got all the attention. I hate it and while in a way I can understand it I think it's so unfair. Having said that in their junior school they get put in the headteachers Golden Book once a term for some random reason and it's usually done fairly and written about in the weekly newletter. My eldest DD hated this as found the HT very intimidating, hated going to her office even for praise and hated any unwanted attention. She actually felt more comfortable being the ignored one in the class. Sigh.

I think the most amusing award for star of the week was when my normally unnoticed, quiet, well behaved DS2 got it. While having spent the ENTIRE WEEK off school in hospital. When I queried it with the school, they told me they had realised he hadn't been given it for a year and a half. So they gave it to him that week. Even though he wasn't there.

Ever since, I know JUST how meaningless it is. I like the junior system of house points and instantaneous reward much better. And they are in houses, so can collect HP's for their house.

DS1 usually gets his HP's for excellent academic work, DS2 usually gets his for concentrating on his work instead of quietly daydreaming...

A much better system all round that can reward EVERY DC, every time they deserve a reward.

Star of the week is just a bollocksy tick box exercise where the middle of the road non remarkable get forgotten.

Though it is interesting to see the placement of DC's in houses. Siblings share the same house, and the well behaved, quiet, academic DC's all seem to be in Red house, while Green house seems to be filled with the more disruptive DC's...

Yellow house seems to have all the sporty DC's in, and Blue house seems to have all the DC's in that don't 'fit' anywhere else. Come to think about it, a lot of the EASL DC's seem to be in Blue house.

Unsurprisingly, Red house won the overall HP's challenge this school year...

DS1 is quite clever so when he got his I was agog to find out what braintastic achievement had won him this accolade.

"I got it because I fell over and I didn't cry, Mummy."

"Oh. Er, well done"

Definitely speak to them. I have had to on a number of occassions, as they have about three different schemes in reception and dd2 misses out on all three. She is independent so doesn't go running with her work every time she makes things, she is well behaved, generally, and academic work at the moment comes fairly easily, so doesn't need to try. She has though had huge social hurdles which she has done her best to overcome. She is also a bit shy, well maybe not shy but ignores people unless it serves her to acknowledge them (drives me mad).

She has noticed the naughty child correlation, and towards the end of this term we have seen more naughty behaviour, then trying really hard to be good and then finally getting a reward. It sounds petty, but for dd it was getting an obsession at home. Do talk to thee teacher about it.

Oh and dd1 is always getting star of the universe for being golden queenlike worker thingies, makes it even harder for dd2. And no these things don't always even out over the year, but do reinforce to the more introverted children that they need to be a bit more in your face to be noticed.

Absolutely the 'middle of the road' kids get by passed. They never cause trouble for the teachers and rarely shine either.

Ds1 was like this the whole time in primary but it never bothered him. I felt he could have done with a bit of praise now and again.

Then in high school it took a more serious note. He flew under the radar the whole 5 years but I felt he was never pushed to make the best of his abilities while he was there. He is lazy and only ever did enough to keep the teachers happy, never caused trouble in class etc.

He reached year 11 and found out at parents evening that his GCSE French had gone from a U grade to a B grade from September to January due to a new teacher. Problem is that no one bothered to tell us he was failing as he just didn't stick in their minds.

Keep an eye on your dcs that like to fly on the radar. It can get a whole lot worse than not getting star of the week. I would start now and make sure your child is noticed by the teacher. Go in and say something.