Those that are successful at doing extra work with your dc during term time or the holidays how do you fit it in,when and how do you make it not become a battle?

[Rockpool]

Don't want lectures on letting kids be kids thanks.I have my reasons.

I know what to do but have always struggled to find the best time to do it during term time(and the holidays)so we haven't done a lot bar school homework. I also don't want to battle over it so how do you engage your dc positively without it ending in a major stressfest?

TIA

Find something they want to do, and use it as a reward. My DS really needs to work on his handwriting so in return for spending 15 mins a day on that, he is getting to do the Maths Factor summer camp, which is what he really wants to do. He doesn't need to work on maths, and I had not planned to let him do this, but he really enjoys maths, and working on the computer is a treat for him too.

DD needs to work a bit on Maths, and in return, she has a big box of sparkly paper and glitter and glue, so she can make assorted decorations for her bedroom. I'd let her do that anyway, but she doesn't know that.

I will not make them do it every day, and I will not get into a battle over it, but I think 15 minutes or so, just after breakfast most days should be doable.

You have to make it fun and low key. It also needs to appeal to the way they like to learn. Ifthey like to run around, then make it a treasure hunt. If they like to sit and write it can be more formal. Have clear incentives and routine so it is done at the same time everyday. Short and sweet everyday is better than trying to do 2 long stints.

I make it fun, different from school work, regular (mine tend to accept routines better) and varied. And for not more than 20 min per day, with a couple of weeks totally 'off', usually when we're away. Quite a lot of it (most in fact) they view as doing an activity and only I know that a learning goal is hidden within it).

So this summer they are both doing Maths Factor summer camps because they consider this playing (anything on the computer is playing at the moment). Other than that we bake (reading/weights and measures), do crafty type stuff (helps improve ds2's motor skills), read hands-on science books and do the experiments and carry on making our epic time line.

It's quite hard work (for me) sometimes. And yes, by western standards I am a Tiger mother, though by true Tiger Mother standards I am a weedy pushover.

We use a reward chart and for every 5 stars she gets a small treat, 1 new book = 1 star. My dd 5 would sell her soul for a bit of nail varnish so lovely and cheap for me, she hasn't realised yet that she could have nail varnish anyway. At the end of the chart she gets a big treat!

Sit over them with a weapon, works wonders.

We decided on a routine of some reading every day at 6 pm and then either writing or maths. DD has improved dramatically in reading and writing during Year 1 and I think this regular routine (including weekends and school holidays but not holiday away) has been a major contribution.

Basically we decided together on the time straight after her tea and after she has chilled with some tv or on the computer. Then, if she does her reading she can play on the Wii or computer or play with Daddy. Writing gains either her dessert (I am really quite mean!) or if she completes a homework challenge like making a little book she will gain a £1 or £1 toy for her colllection. The challenges take 2-3 sessions and she likes ticking them off. Our extra writing in holidays are similar and I do them either morning (to gain going out to her choice of place) and keep the routine rigidly. I do believe from her improvement in her work ethic and the standard of her readinga nd writing that this has paid off. And I reward her for her work.

You make your daughter do work to earn a dessert?!

yes we put the timer on the oven. 10 minutes for reading, every day, at just about the same time (around 3:30, when they are not too hungry and not too tired). They read me a book of their choice. And it's funny because the oven timer is on, they read faster! They also have a reward chart for that, and for every 5 stars they get an ice cream at the park or other treat. They have both improved a lot since we started that routine (5 and 6 years old).

They don't mind doing maths so that's not really a battle. We just listen to our times table CD which they really like, and do maths puzzles. We also use Cuisenair rods and Numicons, and they like playing with both.

For us the issue is writing. They don't like it, but I try to make it fun. We don'd do this every day, maybe once every 2 or 3 days.

Keep it short and use bribery / rewards.

I'm aiming to do any extra learning work in the mornings maybe 2/3 times a week.
Breakfast, washed and dressed, then some writing or maths.
I intend to keep it short and make it as fun as I possibly can. Mainly the writing as that's what DD is struggling with/finds boring.
Once it is done in the morning the rest of the day is free to do and please as we all like.

I find choosing a topic works well with ds. We are currently working on a Space theme, ds has written a couple of poems and stories related to the theme and has made some models. Hoping to visit Leicester Space Centre in the school holidays and ds will write a review of his visit. Ds doesn't really enjoy writing and I find that by linking it to a project he forgets that he is working and is really proud when he puts new pieces in his project folder.

Join in. Ask your dcs what topics they are covering in school and sit together over a cuppa and a snack, and research the topics. Write stories or poems together, make maps, write "books". Go on "field trips", borrow library books. We very rarely do anything more structured, but I am aiming for depth, rather than linear learning.

Forgot to say that work is done on rainy Saturday afternoons and school holidays. We don't have time to do anything in the week, ds has clubs on three evenings and on the other two days he bounces on the trampoline, watches TV or plays with his brother. He has homework, spellings, time tables and reading from school there is no way we could fit in extra work in the week.

Blueberry what times table cd do you have?

It's called Learn the Tables with songs and games. It first has a times table on a song, then the same song but skipping the answer. It's a different song for each table. Then it's another different song with all the times tables mixed up. I find it increadibly annoying byt the kids like it.

I use a reward chart too and have signed both kids up the the summer reading challenge at the library which comes with its own stickers and rewards etc.

We don't tend to do work every day, just as and when we can fit it in and never more than about 20 mins at a time really.

I do it before I go to work every single day.

Think you have to do it at the same time - and straight after breakfast is best because then its not hanging over you all day.

But I'm mean. I don't bother to make it fun. And I don't give them any reward for doing it. They have to do it, because they're behind. End of discussion.

same as indigo. DS went from being near bottom at a non academic prep to doing exceptionally well in his KS1 sats. I believe alot of this is due to a daily stufy habit. We did do Kumon but we all hated it so left, but we did take the idea of daily study and have stuck by it. We do 30 mins a day at the table, alternate maths and english. He also goes to Explore twice a week (don't do home study on theses days).
At the beg, there was a battle over it but now he accepts that it is something that needs to be done. His confidence has soared at school as he finds the work easier and loves maths and science. I am trying to instill in him that hard work brings rewards and tbh 30 mins out of a 12 hour day in the holidays is nothing. The benefits far outweigh the negatives and my son has gone from struggling to enjoying learning and believing in himself that he can achieve if he puts in the work.

My advice is to do it every day rather than only some days. That way it becomes less negotiable. We don't routinely do schoolwork, but this works for music practice. We also had a holiday diary last summer, and a little bit every day worked well - whereas if DS1 knew it was 4 days out of 7 or whatever, we'd have wasted half an hour arguing for every ten minutes of work.

I agree with Indigo, i don't bother to make it fun , as i believe that this fuels their expectation that learning should always be fun, which is not the case.

I'm similar to Indigo. They just have to do it. But, during holidays, they do some work on some days, and also get plenty of completely free days from work. During holidays, we will have a leisurely breakfast, and then get down to work after that. I have 3 dcs, so all together, at the kitchen table, in the morning, works best. We get it out of the way, each dc follows their own particular schedule and I'm quite regimented about it. But when it's done, that's it, and they are free to do whatever, and we are thereafter quite anarchic. I aim for about an hour and a half 3 x a week during holidays for the older ones, which we feel is a good balance for the work they need to do, and allows enough 'down time' for the rest of the day and leisure days for the rest of the week. I do not offer rewards, sanctions or anything else - they just get into a routine. I think you just have to mean business, OP, and find a time during the day which suits you best, and stick to it. Work out how much you think they need to do, depending on their ages, and go from there.

Our morning 'work' is always of a written nature (whether they are doing maths on the computer or some English work etc). Reading and any music practice etc is always done in the evening, as a more relaxing activity, and is not counted as the 'work' we do in the morning, i.e. that goes on for practically the whole holiday period, unless we are away. Works best for us.

Try to recognise your pressure points regarding homework etc, and if you start to feel yourself getting stressed, walk away. It's counter productive for all. Just remain calm, set your expectations, and be prepared to start again with a fresh slate again the next day, if need be. You won't have to do that too many times for the message to get through.

I think some sort of structure like this, especially during the long summer holidays, is vital, personally. But, it's all about balance.

Another one agreeing with Indigo. If you're going to do it, do it straight after breakfast. Ideally make each session 15 minutes max. Then it's done, it's not hanging over you all day every day. Introduce a sticker or some kind of reward system if that's what works for you, and as others have said make sure you keep to the routine. But i wouldn't specifically worry about making it 'fun'. Short and sweet is probably best, then focus on whatever you've got planned for the day.

Great advice,how do those with 3 manage it?Do you focus on the more needy one iykwim?

With my 3 I do it one at a time, so they all get me 1:1

But I don't do a long session with any of them.

As above - Get it ready for them the night before, breakfast at table, clear plates, hand-out work for all children at the same time and go round them facilitating / exmplaining, half an hour will fly by, send them off for washing and dressing while you wash-up, pop away their work and make sure there is some for the next morning.
No need for making it fun in a snazzy way, few work-books, board games for timestables, spelling workbookks and mini-tests, props like counting beads, loads of pens and paper - and a chair at the table for you to sit at with them.

Do not wander off / start cleaning-up etc be at or around the table.

Don't bribe them, don't take away things if the refuse to comply, don't threaten them.

Your in charge and they will not leave that table until you say so.

If you've got a real stubborn one make sure you have no other plans for the day you start, you may be at that table for some time - but once cracked it will be as normal a part of their routine as cleaning their teeth.