Those that are successful at doing extra work with your dc during term time or the holidays how do you fit it in,when and how do you make it not become a battle?

[Rockpool]

Don't want lectures on letting kids be kids thanks.I have my reasons.

I know what to do but have always struggled to find the best time to do it during term time(and the holidays)so we haven't done a lot bar school homework. I also don't want to battle over it so how do you engage your dc positively without it ending in a major stressfest?

TIA

So do you start them off together or call them 1 at a time Indigo?Thanks Rosemary that's great advice.

Computer games based around reading and Maths are a real treat here. DD now has three penpals (gained through Mumsnet) so that is encouraging her to keep up with her writing. I bought some nice new pens, envelopes and writing paper. I'm not in the slightest bit regimented though, I just fit it in whenever I can. I do it one at a time, but my dcs are all quite young. I don't do anything much with 2 year old ds yet, apart from Starfall occasionally.

My two do theirs together (they are 6 and 4) but reading which is done every day after their bath is done 121 obviously.

With my 3, I have them all working at the same time, but the youngest finishes first and I have something lined-up for her for when she's done (even if it's a dvd for a while in the other room while the others finish). She usually likes to hang around and watch them, though. Both the other two are needy with different things, so if one of them is confident at working on maths independently, they will be doing that whilst the other works on something that needs my full attention. I make it clear I'm working with DC x and that I will be swapping over to work with DC Y a little later, so they expect this. The evening reading/music etc is done usually while they are waiting their turn for their bath, and DH and I alternate it.

Term time is a bit different. We all tend to get up early, so after breakfast etc, if there's time, DS1 might do a bit of piano practise or have a go at some spellings before we go to school. Rarely manage to do anything with the other 2 before schoo. When home, I find it's best for them to have at least a full hour doing whatever they like and have a proper rest. Snack. Maybe some homework before tea. Reading again during the wind-down bath time works best for us.

Blimey, you lot are far more structured than me, and I always thought I was pretty strict! Are you talking about homework, or extra work?

As I said up thread, we spend a lot of time talking, researching etc. We obviously have set time to do homework, although I find that DS1 (year 3) is disciplined enough to get on with it. He does his spellings at the crack of dawn, when I am still in bed, as usually wakes me up with his piano practise.

I do disagree about work being fun. Why can't it be fun? It doesn't have to all be computer games, or artificially made up fun, but why not get pleasure from learning and challenging yourself (or are we a bit weird in our house?).

With DS he has a Summer Holiday Prize Chart each summer - 6 prizes out on a shelf with 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc stuck on them. This year the prizes range from Moshi Monster cards to a lego Harry Potter set at the end. Then a chart with what he needs to do to get each prize. This varies according to what's needed. He will then usually be encouraged to do 1-2 things a day depending on what our plans are - again straight after breakfast. DS really struggles with fine motor so this year there's a lot of odd things on there like finding beads in playdoh, sorting beads, pegging laundry, buttering bread, lacing cards, learning to tie laces... much less focus on academics which he is strong at. Also on there are some maths and literacy things which he will see as 'fun' little geek that he is, but the true purpose for me is to use this long break as an opportunity to focus on his weaknesses which is harder during busy term time. He's already started it as he's very motivated by the prizes!

The little ones don't do anything so structured yet. I first started holiday 'work' with DS the summer before Reception. He accepts it as completely normal now, and he loves the opportunity to get prizes...

Have just stumbled across this - and is just what I was looking for! We really struggle to stick to best intentions and really want a way to try and get DS1 (coming up to P2) started on a little bit of piano in addition to keeping school work ticking over.

DS2 is 3.6 and I think I'll need to have something specific for him to do at homework time too - am thinking of some kind of quiet 'learning' activity, but he's obviously quite young, and I'll have to focus mostly on DS1 during the homework sessions. Drawing/sticking/cutting time for him would be ideal - but I'm going to struggle to keep him 'on task' with this sometimes. Any suggestions from others with littlies that have to tag along?

Have just had a quick look at the Starfall website someone mentioned - this looks like could be good - looks like it is phonics at the most basic level and a very easy-to-operate site? I think he could probably cope with a bit of that. What about the numicon resources - they look a bit £, but will they have value for pre-school play learning??

Reading all the stuff above, strikes me that I need to be more organised and always have the next activity ready to go...

The extra bits of starfall are worth it - don't think it costs too much for a year's subscription. The Oxford Owl website is also good, with lots of stories and some Maths games too. Phonicsplay is good for practising phonics too.

During term time its part of our routine - and routine is what makes it work best, DS (7) knows we have breakfast, get dressed, we read (15 min) and do a bit of maths (usually something from a website, 5-10 min). In the evening, after dinner we do spellings and a bit of maths on paper (about 10 min the lot).

In the holidays its harder because there are different things going on and I don't stick to a routine so much. However, DS said he wanted to do the reading challenge from the library again, so I told him he gets a pound for every 5 books he reads (DS prefers shorter readers as he isn't good enough to read longer books yet, however I might try The Magic Treehouse stories and we could alternate the reading - would have to renegotiate the 5 books for 1£ rule though) - sorry, I am rambling.

I just ignore my younger DD (3.8) when I read or do maths with DS (7). She usually goes off and does some role play, she sits somewhere looking at books, she plays with playdough for ages or she sits drawing rather detailed pictures of something. Quite honestly, I do not feel that I have to organise a 'learning activity' for her - she seems to do that for herself.

Afterwards, she sometimes comes and wants to do maths too. Then I go on the 'topmarks.co.uk' website (there are some activities for 3-5 year olds) and count cows, eggs or give the teddies some sweets etc.

Otherwise, I focus on reading and talking to DD a lot to improve her language, vocab, social skills ... but I don't agree with phonics programmes for pre-schoolers.

Why not gabsid? I don't think they are right for all preschoolers, but both my dds were ready to read long before school and early introduction of phonics has done them no harm. It is true that many dcs are not ready, but mine were and wanted to learn. I always think of Scout in To Kill A Mockingbird, when she was told not to read until she'd been taught the correct method.

I always find it quite amazing how many 3 year olds are ready and wanting to read on here!

Mine genuinely were, but then I was a very early reader too and have an English Literature background, so perhaps it isn't surprising. I haven't met that many early readers in real life and I don't think my own ds will be an early reader either. You can't make a child learn to read.

I actually have no idea how dd2 learned to read some of the words she can read now. After some exposure to phonics the rest was almost by osmosis.

Yes, in real life there aren't that many early readers. I do find it silly though that so many pre-schools teach phonics now. Maybe parents think it is an indicator for being smart/academic. My niece didn't read before she started school and was still on the 'gifted and talented' register though.

Most gifted children are not early readers, but natural early readers are often quite able. Dd1 is, as is dd2. But that has nothing to do with early introduction of phonics.

There would be a lot more early readers around if it was so easy to teach an unwilling child.

I think ds is more of an active explorer.. He doesn't like books, bless him.The only book he will tolerate is The Gruffalo's Child, which he is obsessed with!

Reading just wouldn't be the first thing I would want to teach DD unless she is really pushing for it, there are a thousand other things.

My DD does love books, she loved to be read to, at the moment she sits around the house looking at books by herself. She has very good listening skills, is bilingual, knows that you read from left to right, she pretends to read and write letters. However, we are way too busy reading and talking about ballerinas, princesses, visiting libraries, museums, playgrounds, playgroups, socialising, playing with playdough, arguing with her brother, baking, practicing bows, singing songs ........

we fit dd's reading in straight after school. banana given as we get back to the car. reeading done when we arrive home, in the car so ds is strapped in and unable to rip/snatch/draw on the book.

times tables practice/number bonds/mental maths done in the car on the way to school. 5 or 6 questions is enough to keep things ticking over. I notice if we do not do it for a while.

sneaking learning in through the back door using the computer. doing a maths game with her that stretches her before she can choose some of the easier games.

I did manage to get some learning in in reception by playing schools with her and being a stupid pupil.

she likes watching videos on the computer and doing practical stuff as experiments. we can cover a lot of geography and history on a walk around town.

making up "activity books" on her favourite story to sneak some literacy skills i. she also love activity books. I bought a times tables booka and left it lying around and she did that on her own... awarding herself the stickers.

stickers.. anything with stickers. I suspect it will wear off eventually.

Dds do all those things too. It really didn't take long at all, which I why I say they were natural early readers. It isn't a massively important thing for dc to do at that age though, I agree. We just like reading. I certainly didn't sit them down for hours teaching them or anything. It does open up a whole world of knowledge, but that can be a bad thing. Dd2 aged 4 can read news headlines I'd rather she couldn't.

I think she'd be reading anyway, whether I'd taught her any phonics or not. She has a good memory for words and sounds. At least this way, she has learned the way school would like her to learn

Start them young- we always sit down at the table on sunday morning and do some work together- they all do something age-appropriate.

Yes, as long as you follow them that's great. What I do object is that emphasis on phonics and reading at a too early age. True, it doesn't hurt them to sit and listen to the phonics songs at pre-school, but most won't gain anything either. Wouldn't it be more sensible to stick to rhymes and songs with actions, they may include games with turn taking, dancing etc. - luckily the headmistress of our Infant School forbids phonics teaching at the nearby pre-school - for many, especially boys, starting in R aged 4 is too early.

'Start them young, so they learn more' is a rather uninformed statement in my opinion. Young children learn best by doing things they have chosen and are interested in. I can't imagine sitting my 3.7 year old down at a given time to do age appropriate things. She sits down and draws (more than 1/2 hour this morning), we read and she concentrates for ages (unfortunately, at the moment she likes her brother's Dirty Berty stories and copies stuff). She writes when she wants scribby letters - this morning she wrote 4s, lots of them, and then turned them into socks, she wrote As and then turns them into rockets that fly to the moon, a medieaval rocket, a Victorian rocket and one for the Ancient Egytians so that they can all fly to the moon.

I think she is learning lots of stuff and I am in no hurry to introduce phonics, unless she really wants to read. That said, yesterday her brother read a book to her and she said. Oh, you can read well! I can read too! ... wouldn't need phonics though as I speak German to her and reading in German is a lot easier to learn.

Hmmm re the phonic I have a literacy background and had a very early reader.I didn't push phonics as it were but I did teach him the sounds of the alphabet and a few easier ones such as ee,ai etc.This was before the big ordered phonic push of today.Said child had taught himself to read from road signs,car atlas at 3(I kid you not),he has a photographic memory and was utterly desperate to read.It was pointless not teaching him sounds so he could go off and decode further on his own.I learnt to read early too.

I simply got a good quality alphabet book that used sounds correctly and shoved it in the book basket.Read it a couple of times and he knew the lot.Ditto his twin who was less obsessed and slightly behind in the reading stakes(was a free reader in rec too though).

No stress,no bother.Phonics really don't have to be a negative experience.Imvho the biggest advantage kids have is a parent who knows how to pronounce phonics correctly and just draw attention to the odd sound say the sound their siblings begin with,sounds on a picture book page(oh look at that there's a ssss),on a road sign,in the supermarket.They just pick it up by osmosis.

Bribery. I don't believe in it at all, and always swore I wouldn't do it, but dd (in yr 5 at school, 10 years old) finds writing really difficult and we just weren't getting anywhere, and she wasn't progressing at all in school.

She has to do at least 5 minutes practice of writing every week day (before school works very much the best) and in exchange she has a weekly riding lesson.

We've also talked a lot with school and the other quid pro quo is that for longer pieces of homework we can scribe for her and/or she can use the computer, plus she often uses the computer in class.

(The 5 mins a day is definitely helping though and her writing is coming on very well, its also meant that she can try out various pen grips/ shaped pens/ slanted paper etc more easily than in a class setting where it would be disruptive.)

Also re said child with photographic memory I didn't want to encourage an overuse of memory which was a habit he was getting into.Phonics are important for spelling too and I worried that he'd get lazy and further down the line need phonics more (with complex long words) which he wouldn't be in the habit of using.Kind of wanted him to get used to both and given he'd decided at 3 to read I had no choice really.

Should say both boys are avid readers so it didn't put them off.They seriously get through piles of books a week,ditto dd.

Takver the riding thing could be good as dd loves it but doesn't have weekly lessons as it's too £££££.

There are some really good ideas on here,I really appreciate everybody's advice.

If your children are so ahead, why do you feel the need to do extra? This isn't a criticism but a genuine question. I feel that as my dd is so far ahead, I can leave any extra work and spend time doing what she wants. I leave educational books around for her to find and do but that is all.