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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

Ok I am a snob with a PFB, but please tell me there are lots of positives....

59 replies

mummyneedingahug · 28/06/2012 21:23

about starting school in a very 'mixed' catchment. Children with very 'mixed' behaviour too.
At the induction session today, DS had a toy snatched from him, was told his work was 'rubbish; and had plastic toy food thrown at him :(
Equally there were some lovely children and the school has great results but I just feel so unhappy about him going there. It didn't help that I saw a mother smoking on her way to school and a child run out with just his shorts on!
Help!

OP posts:
teatimesthree · 28/06/2012 21:25

Have you led a very sheltered life?

teatimesthree · 28/06/2012 21:26

Being shocked by a child with no T-shirt on seems a bit OTT. If the mum had been topless, then fair enough.

scentednappyhag · 28/06/2012 21:26

Brace yourself OP Grin

HuwEdwards · 28/06/2012 21:27

So the alternative is, keep him at home, wrap him up in cotton wool and he'll never be able to deal with anyone when he's older.

You need to let him go a bit and find his feet Smile

HuwEdwards · 28/06/2012 21:28

TTT - Grin

Original poster
mummyneedingahug · 28/06/2012 21:29

Leaving school half nacked is a bit shocking?!

OP posts:
BigHairyFlowers · 28/06/2012 21:30

Half nacked?

Sittinginthesun · 28/06/2012 21:31

Our school has a mixed catchment too, and DH in particular was very concerned at the beginning.

I love the school, though - the children all get on very well, the behaviour issues are largely ironed out by the end of Reception, and both my boys have friend's from lots of backgrounds (or both sides of the road, as it is here!).

I have friends with children at the two "naice" middle class schools down the road, as well as at private school. Our school is far more fun!

teatimesthree · 28/06/2012 21:32

I dunno, there was a very naice dad at gym class the other day, and both his kids had their tops off because it was hot. DD was dying to take hers off too, and I had to restrain her. It is a little free and easy, but hardly Lord of The Flies territory.

Sittinginthesun · 28/06/2012 21:34

Oh, and obviously, when I say "behaviour issues", this has nothing to do with the catchment, mothers smoking etc.

Just relax.

Levantine · 28/06/2012 21:37

Ha the child with the worst behavioural issues in our inner london state primary was ds1 and we go camping in Normandy

seeker · 28/06/2012 21:38

What's his teacher like?

What are the wall displays and things like that like?

What is the head like?

Results? value add?

What could you see of the other classes?

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 28/06/2012 21:41

Bear in mind that the other children who showed slightly bad behaviour were also on their taster session too. It is no indication that they will behave like this when they are properly settled in school.

I have to say I don't think a boy coming out in only his shorts (given was v hot today) or a mum smoking are cause for concern at all.

Being able to socialise with a wide range of people is a skill that sets you up well for life and the best way to learn it is to go to a school where there is a mixed intake in my view.

veritythebrave · 28/06/2012 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pookamoo · 28/06/2012 21:46

I think your MN nickname is probably a clue to what's really going on here!
It's not easy when your baby starts school.

DD1 doesn't go until September 2013 but I am already feeling anxious about it. I had signed her up to one pre-school and then having spent a bit of time there myself, changed my mind because of my gut feeling and moved her somewhere else.

I fully intend to use similar tactics when choosing her primary school, but I am nervous that we will make a wrong decision.

Have a non-MN hug, and listen to the sensible advice here about the other things that might be good in the school, and the fact that behaviour problems are usually sorted by the end of reception year!

DeWe · 28/06/2012 21:52

Is it better or worse to come out like my ds with every item of clothes either inside out or backwards? he lost a pair of pants early on in his school career, just came out with nothing under his shorts. And no, he wasn't doing swimming. Grin

Original poster
mummyneedingahug · 28/06/2012 21:58

pookamoo you are 100% correct. I had no idea I would be feeling so totally RUBBISH! Can't sleep, eat etc. I just have such a bad feeling about it all :(

OP posts:
suebfg · 28/06/2012 21:59

Agree that private school children can be as equally badly behaved, even if they tend to be better dressed :)

learnandsay · 28/06/2012 22:05

To be honest I was here a few months ago. We've got a nice middle-class area with a poor area built right in the middle of it!! The poor area has extreme social problems and the catchment area school is built right in the middle of that, behind the pub with a continual police presence! --- So, anyway, I wasn't too pleased about this being my daughter's local school, but I have an extreme prejudice/case against home education. So, I resolved to send my daughter to the social-battle-school, but educate her at home! It helps that the local school is renowned for its parental involvement strategy, because I would have been its number one user. My own belief is that you can probably thrive in a social-battle-school. It'll be as hard work as giving birth every day of your life for the whole duration, but not impossible. I was prepared to go through it. But, on the whole, if you don't have as strong opinions against home education as I do, I'd suggest home ed.

Original poster
mummyneedingahug · 28/06/2012 22:05

veritythebrave did you move from private to state??

OP posts:
Groovee · 28/06/2012 22:05

Has your pfb never been to nursery?

kilmuir · 28/06/2012 22:06

Give them a few weeks in reception and hopefully the behaviour will have been reined in a bit.

Noggie · 28/06/2012 22:08

My daughter has just finished Primary 1 (first year of school in Scotland) in quite a 'mixed' school. We chose to move here because of the school as wanted her to grow up understanding that there are lots of different types of people in this world. There have been times when I have wondered what on earth we were thinking...but to be honest I think we would be doing the same if we were 3 miles down the road in a more 'middle class only' area. Kids are unkind to oneanother regardless of background. Parents smoke in front of their children regardless of income ...I think your class room teacher is the most important person to consider and most P1 teachers are experts in their field. My daughters teacher was strict but very kind- she sorted out all the 'naughty boys' no problem and they were all very fond of her once they settled as a class. The getting ready for school weeks were really nerve wracking for me- I was obsessed with making amazing packed lunches etc etc but feel so different now the first year is over....and hope you feel the same this time next year.

pookamoo · 28/06/2012 22:08

I thought that might be the case, OP Smile. I just felt close to tears every time I thought about leaving DD at that preschool. I sent her somewhere else and she loves it, as do we.

Are there other schools in your local area? I know it's a bit late in the year, but it's probably not totally impossible to change, or consider HE until a place comes up?

usualsuspect · 28/06/2012 22:10

Do the mothers wear their PJs on the school run?