Ok I am a snob with a PFB, but please tell me there are lots of positives....

[mummyneedingahug]

about starting school in a very 'mixed' catchment. Children with very 'mixed' behaviour too.
At the induction session today, DS had a toy snatched from him, was told his work was 'rubbish; and had plastic toy food thrown at him :(
Equally there were some lovely children and the school has great results but I just feel so unhappy about him going there. It didn't help that I saw a mother smoking on her way to school and a child run out with just his shorts on!
Help!

I'm with Frantically - give it a go, and see how you get on. I also became a governor, and it is great to see how it all works. I do understand your concerns, but I honestly think that a child who thrives in a good, mixed primary, will be set up for life.

OP it's perfectly understandable that you worry. And that you would like your DC to mix with only lokeminded parents who bring their DC just like you do.

But it's just not posible .

My DC attend super smart private schools and there are still some families who I think are not my cup of tea. I'm sure they think the same of me.

Poor behaviour in class should be dealt with by the teacher. If it isn't then that is a problem. But I don't think you can judge that on a taster day. I spent several years volunteering at my local school with a mixed intake and some teachers were fabulous at classroom management. Some were utterly utterly hopeless.

Now if you find yourself in a school with real social problems, then it is a cuase for concern.

I know it is awful, but OP I could have written your post. We had first visit this week, with just half the class, and I came away very worried about my quiet pfb in that class for 7 years . I am hoping that the behaviour (or lack of) was just down to the kids being over excited on the visit. The teacher seemed lovely and from what I saw I think she will try and sort any issues should they arise. hopefully she won't spend all day doing this and not teaching!

Am under no illusions that it would be any different/better elsewhere though. Just hope that he will make kind friends, as he has in nursery. Was our third choice school, so maybe I will always have reservations. At the moment though, am incredibly worried about the whole thing.

Would like to add, that dc is definitely no angel himself!

Regardless of the specific issues that you have mentioned (which occur everywhere btw), I would say that if you have such doubts about the school then look elsewhere. It shouldn't be filling you with dread, it should be an exciting time starting school.

In reception, a new boy came to DS's class. He spoke about 2 words of English and could count to 10, and had never been in school or indeed any environment similar to school (eg nursery) before. His main means of communication appeared to be hitting people.

DS came home one day and said that he'd sat down between this boy and one of the girls so that the boy would hit him and not the girl because he was 'tough' and could cope with being hit. This is my PFB (and only).

Two years down the line, said boy has good English and is integrated into the year without these problems.

Your boy is probably a lot tougher than you give him credit for and will be fine. Can you get any playdates arranged with any of the 'lovely' children over the summer holiday? That would stand them both/all in good stead.

My next door neghbour is a teacher. She is bright, funny, kind, thoughtful, decdicated etc. She also happens to smoke. My bf is also a teacher. She smokes too.

Just saying.

It is hard when they go to school.

Snatching, throwing toys and saying that someone else's work is rubbish are all signs of immaturity - not very surprising given that some children at the taster days are not even four yet. They are also all dealing with a new situation, and may have special needs you don't know about.

My DS2 is a very bright boy (we're talking brighter than DS1 who has got into a super selective grammar) but also has Aspergers. In his second week in school he was sorting out letters and numbers into different piles with a little girl when he said "Are you stupid? can't you see it's an 'i' not a 1!". This girls' mother has never forgiven him, and he has been the only child in the class not invited to her parties ever since.

He now understands that different people understand different things, and his social skills have improved dramatically. (Though still behind those of his peer group due to his Aspergers). But they were very poor when he started reception, and this is despite a very middle class background.

You know what op your school sounds much like the one my kids go to. The only difference is that I actually chose to send my kids to the school for the same reasons that you are having doubts.

My kids live a very fortunate life. We live in a nice house in a nice part of town. We can afford to have a holiday abroad every year and for the kids to do various after school clubs. Two minutes down the road from us is what you would probably describe as a rough estate. At the end of the day they are all children and I think it has done my children good to see that not everyone is as fortunate at they are. Both my kids have made friends with children from all walks of life. Only today I was speaking to one of the mums outside school because her ds has taken a bit of a shine to mine and mentions him all the time. She was so pleased that her ds had finally made a friend because he is very shy and had never mentioned anyone before. I made arrangements for a playdate there and then. The family in question are currently living in a refuge on the other side of town and are waiting to be rehoused by the council. They will probably end up on the rough estate down the road. Do I care, no of course not and I certainly will not try and stop my ds being friends with this or any other child. Once you get to know the parents at the school you will probably find that those initial misgivings will vanish. Thats not saying that you will become best buddies with the parents just that you wont mind so much because you will understand them a bit more. There are only 2 parents I would now call friends that I socialise with out of school the rest I speak to as and when I need to.

My DS attends a naice school and we live in a naice area.
He's always coming home with tales of who has done this or that; they're 4, it's normal.
Slightly more worrying was when I picked him up the other day and a little girl said 'look mummy, that's Naughty Pirate'.

I shall change my brand from Silk Cut to Sobranie and see if there's an improvement.