If you had the money would you send your only child to private school?

[lostboysfallin]

Assuming that they generally have better facilities, more resources, smaller classes.

misslongstocking - I get your sentiment, but that I think works both ways.
We intentionally enrol our kids in the teams/clubs in the centre of town for that reason. It means an extra 15 minutes of driving there and back, but like you, I think it's important. I went to a public boarding school but grew up in a rough area and my friends that I hung out with in the holidays were from the local state school. Granted I was lovingly referred to as the 'posh, clever one' but not in a nasty way . The ability to hold your own in all walks of life is something you learn from the way your parents behave and is down to character, not being sent to a state school ... I think that's part of being 'well rounded'?

Absolutely. No hesitations.

One thing that always puzzles me. If people are unlucky enough to encounter a crap state school, the assumption is that whatever makes it crap is generic to all state school. However, a crap private school is always considered a one off. Very odd.

I probably would if I could afford it. My DD is very bright (We all think that of course ) but she is doing really well (only yr 1), she loves learning and I often think she would gain hugely from small classes. However, I would only do it if I could afford as near to the standard of living we have now (same house - nothing flash but it is nice, spare money for luxuries but nothing extravagant, the odd holiday to europe and nights out) as I don't honestly think it's worth huge sacrifices for.I base that on how I will think I shall feel when they are 25 and whether I think the £200+K spent on their schooling was worthwhile. I have quite a few friends who were educated privately and they haven't done any better in life than me (although I guess we tend to mix with people on pretty much the same level as ourselves) and in some cases (not all ) it hasn't done them any favours as they are quite snooty TBH. DH and I went to state school and did very well (both university educated if that means much these days). The only thing I feel I lack is confidence which I feel is generally more forthcoming in people who are privatley educated. I also think parents are much more involved in their childrens education than when I was young (I am nearly 40). My DM was great in many ways but education was left to the school. I strongly suspect that my children will get better exam results than me purely because I am so much more involved. I wonder how much parental involvment is a leveller in success when comparing state to private.

Yes, in a flash (provided it was a good private school)

My DH has worked in private schools for the last 12 years and if we could afford to send our DD to one I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Never unless for sn reasons.

before i go to bed, i must add, every time this argument comes up people site one reason for not using private is to expose their child to people of all walks of life. This will depend on the area you live and the school you send your child to though. DDs school is overwhelmingly middle class.Many are easily able to pay for private education (and no doubt will at some point). I will get flamed but one of the reasons I chose this school was the people who use it. Rightly or wrongly I saw the parents at the school and the good results as something I wanted my DD to be around (and because I could identify with the parents). Whereas the school she went to nursery with a socially mixed intake, alot more social deprivation and all the problems that brings - it wasn't what I felt comfortable with or what I wanted DD to be around. So in effect my choice of state school has done nothing to expose DD to all walks of life. In fact I doubt very much the demographic is much different from the local prep. I am not the only one - you only have to read these threads to see that many people would choose the overwhelmingly middle class school over the one in the poor area - although they may not say it outright the inference is there. I guess we associate middle class with success?

Having said that though DDs school is one of the better performing schools so I am not sure whether I would have still gone for it if the results had been siginficantly worse than the other school.

And guess what?I was bought up on a council estate - I went to the type of schools (because I lived in that type of area)that I am trying to avoid.

Flame away.

I really am a bit of a social climber aren't I

no i love the school my dc go to, you dont have to buy education for it to be the best to suit the needs of you and your child.

if that became private then yes..if had money.

I am very happy with the state school that DD is at currently but having seen the much wider range of options and facilities available at the schools my DH has worked at, not to mention the smaller classes etc, I can really see the benefit of private education now.

It's such a personal thing though - I don't see the need to flame anybody over their choice for their child .

Its a bit of a sweeping statement to say that if your child is at private school that they don't have an opportunity to mix with all walks of life.

I pay for private schooling because it was the only way to get my two dyslexic boys' needs met.

No, I wouldn't. I went to private schools, and the teaching was exceptionally good, but it was nightmare socially, and I never really fitted in. Also, it was girls-only, and that was a sever drawback because I never felt comfortable around boys. Terrible teenaged years because of it. I moved house so that my little boy can attend a good primary school, and think he will do well there.

I agree with TrollopDollop - I send my ds to the local comprehensive because everyone goes there. But - that everyone is overwhelmingly middle class. Ds's friends' parents are doctors, chartered accountants, teachers... No one is very wealthy - just the sort of people who wouldn't be able to afford private school without a huge drop in standard of living. And then, because everyone goes to this school, no one feels the need to pay to escape the state provision. Moreover, the school attracts excellent teachers. In fact, in this area it's the, er, loadsamoney types who pay for private schools (they seem to like boaters and caps).

That being said, I'm certainly not dissing people who pay if their local school is awful. If I lived in many places I'd be standing on a street corner (er, second thoughts, that's not going to raise much!) to pay to escape the school. Where we used to live I saw the secondary school pupils smoking and snogging outside the school gate. It had a high teenage pregnancy rate. Er, no thanks.

I am always puzzled by the
"in my opinion the child wouldn't have the chance to learn to get on with people from different walks of life, which is a very important skill to have whatever the future holds."
type of comment.

Not all of us live in a MC bubble. DH came over here as a virtually penniless immigrant, some of his friends came over as refugees. Do you think that we stop our children mixing with them?

As some others have suggested I suspect quite a few leafy comprehensives and grammar schools are surrounded by comfortable MC enclaves where the children most certainly do not mix with "people from different walks of life"

There is research from the Sutton Trust that shows that Grammer schools have less children on FSM than would be expected

"The low rates of FSM eligibility found in grammar schools cannot,
therefore, be explained by the academic ability of the pupils. Instead, there is
a strong suggestion that some bias may be operating in the application or
selection processes of grammar schools, which makes FSM pupils less likely
to attend them ? or makes those who do attend them less likely to be
identified as eligible for FSM."
p184 of this report www.suttontrust.com/research/social-selectivity-of-state-schools-and-the-impact-of-grammars/

Grammar schools have shockingly low levels of children on FSM- generally 1-2% against about 20% in the cohort at large.

On the mixing with different people - my children have just move from a state primary to private schools. The state primary was 100% white. The private schools have a far greater ethnic diversity (wouldn't be hard!). I am delighted.

Yep- there are well off middle class children of all ethnicities at the private schools round here too..

Of course there's selection over and above the child's intelligence in GS admission nowadays. It used to be that the primary school entered pupils for the 11+ and prepared them for it. Now the onus is on the parents. Now, you may not even have one in your area, so if you and your child do get through the hoops to get a place you're on your own to sort out transport.

Similar selection with oversubscribed faith schools in some areas.

While all these 'choices' exist, those able to will make use of them. Those who can't get second best. There shouldn't be a second best in education. That shouldn't mean dull conformity and mediocrity either.

People always drone on about bad schools . But let's face it, it's bad pupils people want to avoid.

Dh went to a comprehensive the year after it had changed from being a grammar school. Same teachers, same building, same everything... different intake of pupils. Within a few years it was down the drain. Dh was badly bullied and even beaten up for being "posh" (actually he was probably the poorest person in the school).

"Its a bit of a sweeping statement to say that if your child is at private school that they don't have an opportunity to mix with all walks of life"

also the privately educated people in my family have an ability to adapt to ANY social situation comfortably, it's admirable and I'm quite jealous of it! I hold myself back and it's annoying. They're much more the kind of people you can take anywhere and throw them in at the deep end than those of use who were state educated, WE'RE the ones who cling to our own more

Seeker - the village school my children left was predominantly middle class. The private schools they have gone to seem to be no more or less so but the children are definitely from a wider range of backgrounds than those in the village. Social and ethnic diversity is non-existant in many rural areas so sending them to a town where at least we get one out of two is definitely an improvement.

I think the reason for my last statement might be that if you want to go under the radar at state school, you can, participation isn't compulsary.

""People always drone on about bad schools . But let's face it, it's bad pupils people want to avoid."

Shame that in some people's eyes "bad" = with special educational needs and/or poor.

DD mixes with people from all walks of life regularly. Her life is not just caccooned in a school bubble! She does activities and classes outside of school, she mixes with children in various settings, she mixes with people within the family. She meets and interacts with children and adults from much lower incomes to much higher ones, from different races/creed/religions etc, different ages, you name it.

If she went to our local state school she'd mix with pretty much the same type of children as she does in her prep school. There is very little in it regarding the make up of the two school populations.