If you had the money would you send your only child to private school?

[lostboysfallin]

Assuming that they generally have better facilities, more resources, smaller classes.

Dd was diagnosed at two and ds at three so I got their statements before they ever set foot in nursery and I think that is the best thing I have ever done. I visited every school in a ten mile radius before making my choices (it was eye opening tbh there is a huge difference in just how supportive schools are of ASD) Dd is thriving, and off on residential next week (I'm terrified but I trust the school and her teacher is going to visit whilst she is there just so she can report back to me. HT will phone me daily as he is the lead there and I have his mobile so can check by text if I'm worried)
I too am worried by secondary ds went to a unit thirty miles away and now independent for post 16. If push comes to shove I'll go to Tribunal to get dd into independent specialist school if that's what she needs I suppose.

Yes and we will.

We're planning to do state primary till 7 or 11 and then move DD to the private sector. There are no private primary options around here, the state primaries are pretty dire and over my dead body will she go to the state secondaries in the area.

To do it we will not be having more children and we will have to make significant sacrifices, but feel it will be worth it for many reasons.

That said, if we had fantastic local state schools and only 3rd tier private schools we would stick with the state sector.

Both DH and I were privately educated and it's absolute tosh that everyone at private school is fabulously wealthy. We have a small 2-bedroom flat with no garden so hardly a mansion (and no it's not the kind of Chelsea 2-bed apartment) and the two other parents I know of in the area who send their children to private school live in very similar accomodation and have no worries about it.

My parents had falling apart cars, the closest we got to an exotic holiday was a day-trip to France. Thank heavens for school-uniform as all our other clothes were hand-me-downs from our older cousins.

In all the years I was there I never went on any skiing trips or anything like that - and I don't remember feeling deprived because of it or even jealous, very few children went on them.

Very few of the kids were from very rich families - I don't remember any remarks about people's backgrounds at all. At least 20% of kids were there on scholarships or bursaries as well. There was a very mixed intake socially.

I do remember feeling very fortunate to have the facilities, teachers and opportunities I was given.

Yes, I would.

Let's hope your child appreciates her education and wouldn't rather have a sibling....

It would entirely depend where I thought my child would be happiest. I'd look at all the local schools, state and private, and make my decision based on gut feeling at the end of the day.

Seeker, that's a crass thing to say.

I don't know any child that would rather have a sibling than a bike/toy, they don't miss what they've never had.

Yes.

Yes, private primary not sure about secondary yet.

Hey ho, the consensus is that you should send your child privately. It's a bugger that 93% of the population therefore gets second best.

After ds I couldn't have anymore children.

Sorry if I have deprived ds of a sibling.

seeker - do you know the reason why the OP only has one child? Is the OP only having an only child in order to pay for school fees?

My dd is an only. Yes, she goes through times where she would like a sibling. But equally she spends the vast majority of her time happy being an only child. But even if she desperately wanted a sibling there is little I can do about it. For us it is not a financial decision. I simply have been unable to have a second child.

For every person I know there has never been a choice between another child or school fees, just the simply obvious fact that if you do only have one child, for whatever reason, it is easier to afford one set of school fees than if you had to pay out for 2 or more.

Besides, would private school fees be a darn sight cheaper than paying for another child for the entire of its childhood?

Yes Seeker, because minor decisions such as how to educate your child and whether to have another baby should be left to the children

Seeker, I don't think your comment about siblings was directed at me, but I still find it very offensive.
It's highly unlikely that I will have more children and it hurts more than anything else in the world.
I've been through 2 miscarriages and ivf investigations to try and give DS a sibling.
That's just so unfair

Pyrrah said she is choosing to have one child and pay school fees, not the OP.
Which is entirely her choice as it is mine to have 4 and pay some school fees when required rather than have a social life

Absolutely! I currently send all three privately and if all goes well will carry on up to A-levels. Neighbours of mine send their children to the local and very good state primary, drive sports cars and take frequent luxury holidays, but that is their choice. We drive old cars and have fab holidays in Cornwall in caravans. That is our choice, but wouldn't swap for anything!

seeker - realised you were responding to another poster who has said that she is choosing to have no more children due to her decision to use the independent sector.

Ime that is a very very unusual reason not to have more children.

What an awful thing to say seeker. You should be ashamed of yourself. I hope you are going to come back and apologise to those of us with only children.

Ds is an only because I couldn't cope with going through what I went through with him. Being told that he was not expected to live when he was a week old and then having all sorts of developmental problems was frankly enough to go through once let alone anymore.

Seeker's comment was in response to Pyrrah, surely, who specifically states that in order to pay for private ed they will be having one child.

My DS will have neither a sibling nor a private education and I am not inferring any personal criticism from Seeker! And if i did I feel secure enough in my choice or lack of choice around both factors not to be 'offended' but to give my reasons to anyone who wants to ask.

I just think it is a crass and insensitive comment and seeker did not refer to the poster by name in her comment which means, imvho, it applies to everyone on this thread with an only child in private education. If seeker wanted to limit that comment she could have but chose not to.

She replied very shortly after Pyrrah's post and almost cross posted with the one in between.

I pay Pyrrah the compliment of assuming that having made a clear abnd definite choice she is secure in that decision and can generate hwe own reaction to anything anyone else might say. It is, as Hulababy says, a less common reason for deliberately choosing to have one child, it was a choice, Pyrrah is presumably happy with her choice and it will work out well for her...none of us can ever know if our children will appreciate any of the myriad of choices we make about their upbringings.

Yes.

Living within half a mile of "good" schools. Allocated schools in special measures, more than two miles away for both kids. On two occasions, in two different cities.

Have seen marked difference in their learning with a class size of only 15, compared to previous 30.