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Primary education

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Original poster

Do I report this incident to the school?

71 replies

Memoo · 19/04/2012 18:22

Ds is 11 and in year 6. He has many good friends and they've always had a bit of healthy banter about football.

Today on the short walk home from school he and his friend were arguing, again over football. It appears it got a bit heated.

The friend was calling ds names, ds told him to fuck off (I have made thing clear to ds that this is unacceptable)

The friend then hit ds in the face 3 times busting his lip. Ds also is complaining of a sore jaw. He is a little shaken and upset too. Sad

I'm livid but I don't know where this child lives and previous conversations with the mother lead me to think she would react to me with anger.

I know it was outside of school but I'm thinking I could phone school and ask ds's teacher, who is also deputy head, to speak to this boy tomorrow about how his behaviour was unacceptable.

I'm just not sure I'm doing the right thing. Help!

OP posts:
LadySybilDeChocolate · 19/04/2012 18:26

You have 2 options, 1 is to call the police, the other is to tell the school. It doesn't matter if its outside school or not, behaviour like this is never acceptable. I hope your son's OK.

LindyHemming · 19/04/2012 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

virgil · 19/04/2012 18:27

I would absolutely speak to school but I have to say my DSs are much younger so it may be that others disagree!

sunnyday123 · 19/04/2012 18:27

maybe im ott but isnt that a police incident given thats pretty serious?! Wont they go and speak to the kid even if there's nothing to be done legally? Def contact school Angry id be livid! School will need to know regardless as he will have to go back and see this kid in school.

How terrible for you :(

Trifle · 19/04/2012 18:28

I would phone the police and lodge a complaint of assault. Give them the boys number and advise that his contact details can be obtained from the school. As the incident happened outside school it is not their responsibility to deal with it but they can assist the police with their enquiries.

fuzzpig · 19/04/2012 18:29

Yes, please tell the school. Poor thing :(

Coconutty · 19/04/2012 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Memoo · 19/04/2012 18:34

Thanks for the quick replies.

Ds is ok. He was really shaken up though.

I'm not sure about reporting it to the police. I need to mull on that one for a while.

OP posts:
MigratingCoconuts · 19/04/2012 18:34

yes, do tell the school. If only because the incident may spill over into tomorrow at school and they need to be able to keep an eye on the situation for you.

Your poor ds. Sad

bigTillyMint · 19/04/2012 18:35

I don't think it's police-worthy, but I would contact the school and ask for advice/support with dealing with it. Obviously if they think you should tell the police, then do that.

sunnyday123 · 19/04/2012 18:36

i do think its a police matter! If they were older say 15-16 it would be more understandable but i think that type of behaviour, lashing out like that is not normal for a 10 year old or certainly shouldn't be accepted as such. I have never met a 10 year old who would behave in such a way but i do live in a fairly quiet area!

it may be nothing/ a 1 off but it may be a sign of worse behaviour to come

LeeCoakley · 19/04/2012 18:37

Tell the school from the point of view of it maybe flaring up again, but obviously don't expect them to do anything about the incident.

festi · 19/04/2012 18:38

i would certanly call the police if some one punched me in the face 3 times and split my lip therefore i would also if someone did the same to my 11 year old child, im shocked others would not.

Original poster
Memoo · 19/04/2012 18:38

My absolute priority is obviously my ds but I do have a few concerns about the other child too. It may be something bad is going on at home that is worrying him. This is why I don't think I'd report it to the police.

Am I being rubbish?

OP posts:
LeeCoakley · 19/04/2012 18:40

Make sure you have all the facts as well, did your ds hit him in between the 3 hits for example?

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 19/04/2012 18:40

I would tell the school as and also be brave and tell the Mother. Tell her if it happens again you will involve the police.

festi · 19/04/2012 18:41

I think you then give him the message that regardless of what is happening that its o.k to punch people in the face...also if stuff is going on at home, the police will have ways of reporting and hopefully ensure he is given appropriate support.

festi · 19/04/2012 18:43

I was actually reading today as past of an assignment research that children who do not recive early intervention for contuct issues have a far higher rate of entering the youth justice system and higher rates of adult MH issue, something to think about op.

festi · 19/04/2012 18:44

that should be conduct issues not contuct

SandStorm · 19/04/2012 18:47

While you're thinking about your next step can I suggest you take a photo of your son's face.

festi · 19/04/2012 18:48

maybe get his face looked at by your GP in the morning, facial factures are not always obvious initially

ragged · 19/04/2012 18:49

I would not report to police.
I would let school know what happened, so they can put anything that happens on back of this in context.

Original poster
Memoo · 19/04/2012 18:54

Ds said he did not hit him at all. I do believe what ds told me. He is a sensitive boy and it just isn't in him to be like that.

OP posts:
mumofjust1 · 19/04/2012 19:02

Police. Immediately.

Your son has been assaulted.

If they were having a disagreement and a bit of two way shoving occurred, fair enough.

But your ds was hit in the face. Not once but 3 times. His lip was split.

I would have taken him to A&E as his jaw is hurting, and called the police. As suggested take photographs of the injuries he's sustained.

It didn't happen on school premises or in school time so advise them and ask them to keep an eye out, but definitely call the police.

I'm sure that if you dp came home having been smashed in the face 3 times with enough force to split his lip you wouldn't think twice.

Good luck, hope ds is ok Smile

Coconutty · 19/04/2012 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.