If you had paid for private school and also paid for a tutor, and your DC still didn't pass the 11+ would you consider it a waste of money?

[sandyballs]

My ante natal group have been having this debate as a couple of them paid for private schools and tutored with the view to getting into the local grammer but their children didn't pass and they are now going to the local state high school.

Whereas a couple of kids who did go to the local state primary are now going to the grammer.

I'm just interested in MN views, although I'm obv aware of the tension and conflict over private v state so go easy!

I Think there are schools in places like Esher, surrery or Harpenden, Hertfordshire the wealth of the parents is staggering. However its also how parents view financial priorities. Not everyone sees their child having top sports faciltites or a climbing wall or a drama studio as important.

I think the pupil prenium will help iron out inequalties in the state sector.

Sadly yes. But that little corner of Cheshire is very much a ridiculously affluent bubble. If I'm honest it wore me down after a while hence a move to the S coast!

Ah. Yes, I have heard of that little corner of Cheshire!

Reallytired, of course they're not important in the wider scheme of things and I wouldn't put us under huge financial strain to pay for them but we're fortunate enough to be in a position to afford them and I think they enhance their daily enjoyment of school. The enjoyment factor is the only reason I pay. I hate the idea of elitism and I'm not interested in buying results. Therefore, stuff like the music and sport facilities and the opportunities for dance and drama are my priorities when choosing a school purely because they enhance my children's enjoyment.

lovingthecoast, I am glad that your children are enjoying school. If you can afford it without major strain then why not? People waste their money on worse things like booze and ciggerettes.

I'm probably a teeny bit jelous, but my son is happy at his school. I pay to send my daughter to a better nursery with a nice garden, toys and a ratio of 1 to 6 instead of 1 to 8. Children can be happy in shanty town schools with no electricity as they don't miss what they never had.

I am on this thread. I am not one to talk if you want to give your children amazing opportunities. My son does a level of music activities which trivals children at private schools. Most of his activities are done outside school through the county music service or church. He has guitar lessons at school we pay for, Ukelude club is free through school and the church choir is free.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/extra_curricular_activities/1435909-Committed-children-for-want-of-a-better-description

My son did do a drama course through extended schools, but the funding has been cut.

I can see that having all the hobbies provided in one spot (ie. private school) does save time and energy.

Sounds like your son is a very able musician which is lovely. None of my children have yet shown any strong musical aptitude so I think for them it is good because it exposes them to something they would not otherwise experience whereas your son's talent obviously does that for him.

Money doesn't buy brains or academic ability. If they STILL don;t pass I would think it had been a waste of money yes, but in one way if you had to do all that to push them through there us always the chance they will struggle and be unhappy so maybe it's fate trying to tell them something.

Haven't all the children who've been prepped for the exam by tutors been pushed through? So surely most of the kids are in the same boat.