Parent's Evening this week - How honest do you want me to be?

[nalubeadsgirl]

Parent's - asking honestly...What do you want your child's teacher to tell you at parent's evening? What questions would you want answering? Finally, would you want to know if your child was 'below average'? If so, how would you like me to phrase this?

Just be good to hear honestly from some parents. Teaching is very political, as I'm sure you all know. Help me to help you! (i'm already working my socks off for your kids!)

We parents trust you teachers.

If you don't tell us are children are falling behind, how can we know to help?

I absolutely want to know levels, progress that year, are they average in the class - is the class below average as a whole nationally etc etc.

I will take this information and work with it. I'll do more maths at home, or more reading etc. We have our children 1 on 1 for a great chunk of the week - we can help - but only if you throw us the nod.

Op I have big probs with my DDs teacher because she never llistens to me and smiles benignly when I tell her things....my DD has come to her from a private prep and is performing below her peers in everything except reading and spelling....that's fine...glad she's told me BUT when I tell the woman that what looks like defiance is a painfully shy 7 year old new to a bigger school, she brushes it off.

Don't do that and Ill be happy.

daytoday - I agree! I am a secondary teacher, took my child to school every day and at the end of Y1 I asked his teacher how he was getting on in maths as I suspected that he was a bit behind - she said fine, he is where he should be.

I googled again and no - he wasn't where he should be nationally so I started supporting him over the summer and he slowly progressed. In October in Y2 we were invited to join a maths lesson and he was doing Y1 stuff - too easy at that point. It took 6 weeks to get the school to listen and to re-assess him! DS is in a good Y2 set now.

I have lost trust in what the school is doing!

Please be honest, even brutally honest if necessary. Most parents can take it. The exception though is if the child is having "issues" outside of anybody's control, then too be honest but by focusing quite a bit on the positives.

Though it's supposedly something that people shouldn't care about, I think a lot of parents would like to know how their child is in relation to the rest of the class. Broadly speaking of course, not their exact rank! I would want to know levels, though at my children's schools they never bring it up. At the end of every year I make it a point to ask.

And finally, what can we the parents do to help? If applicable of course.

I would also want honesty.

My DSD (6) is in P2. She has made a lot of progress over the school year, and that tells me her teacher is wonderful and on the ball, but if she's still well behind her peers academically and will likely struggle to understand next year's curriculum, then I need to know so that I can make a good effort to help her - especially over vacation periods when she will no longer be in a more focused environment with said teacher. I need to know if my worst fears about her being behind are spot on, and also need to know if I'm just winding myself up instead.

I understand a school's reluctance to be micromanaged by pushy parents, but what we do at home can either reinforce or completely undo the work you've started in class.

DSD says she wants to be a doctor when she grows up. She might change her mind in ten years and decide to be a beauty therapist instead. But if she does, I want to make sure that it's because she truly loves waxing eyebrows, and not because she was cranked through a school system that left her unqualified to apply for medical programmes. That's maybe a more neurotic outlook than some folks, but I don't think I'm the only one that thinks that far ahead.

Also, in reports I want to know where DS is, descriptive and levels.

Our infant school doesn't do that - we had 3 pages of talk without me being able to read between the lines - waste of the teacher's time in my opinion.

What is the school gaining by not telling parents?

When I found out DS really is behind I also found out that he is not listening well in class.

How long would that have gone on? Until he is doing his GCSEs, in bottom set, leaving school without qualifications ....?

I'm a governor at DS2's school and they are sharing more and more information now but it has taken a while for them to realise that parents want to see it. From what I have heard in Governors' meetings, they found some parents just don't understand what the levels or sub levels are all about and so they didn't want to confuse things and reduce the whole parent-teacher conversation to numbers and percentages. I get that, but I think it underestimated the parents. It only takes a couple of minutes to explain how they work.

We have had a change of head to bring about the change in attitude to giving the parents more information but as I understand, like a lot of schools, there was a tendency, in the past, to let children coast in the first two years of juniors and then try and cram as much progress as possible into the last 2 years. If you give out levels this becomes glaringly obvious and it doesn't look good to the parents. Thankfully they just about avoided that with DS1 with the result that they didn't have to cram for their SATs last year because they had paced themselves and the children to make steady progress across all 4 years. Presumably some school have yet to sort this issue out - maybe the OP's school is one of them and they need new staff like her to shake them up!!

Do schools have to give levels if asked.

Have got a 2nd meeting next week because the report and parents evening told us f* all.It was only on asking to see his books which were grudgingly found that I could see how little progress ds had made in his writing.

I want levels to see actually how much progress he has made in the last 6 months and predicted levels for the end of the year so I can see that they're not going to just let him coast.

It's not a lot to ask and I don't like info being hidden from me as I think it serves little purpose. Surely as parents we have a right to such basic information?

Indigo, you were not told when your kids went on SEN register. I am very . I don't think that's legal. I think you are supposed to give your consent. I know this happened to a friend of mine, and she said she could have got the teacher into a lot of trouble. (She is a SENCO, she should know).

Why is that child not making the same progress as the majority given that will undoubtedly be a mixed bunch in terms of ability?

How do you know they aren't making the same amount of progress? Even on entry to Reception, children have wildly different attainment.

MM - you have to be told. But you don't have to give your consent.

In whose interest is it not to give the parents the 'full picture' as to how the child is doing?

Often, I think it is in the schools interest.

Parents start to get really worried when they don't have enough information but an 'inkling' something isn't quite right.

Transparency is surely always a good thing, right?

I wasnt told when me ds1 was put on the sen register either!

I had successive nursery teachers and then a reception teacher tell me ds1 was "fine". I had my doubts.

Suddenly - in year 1 - he is not "fine" but struggling badly

He was finally dx last year as dyslexic.

How an earth is it helping the child to sit there smiling and tell all the parents their children are doing well when they arent?????

I feel very bitter about successive teachers doing that to me...I could have got help for my son much earlier had I not been fobbed off by "professionals".

Let's not get hung up on an off the cuff example of why it is useful to know where your child is in relation to the rest of the class - if my child got a 2b and everybody else got a 3b I would want to know why. Of course one explanation could be that they all started out at a higher level than him in the first place and that would be fine, that would be all I needed to know. But, on the other hand, it could be that they didn't and my child is failing to progress in the same way as the rest of the class. Comparing him to the national average is pointless if the rest of his class are getting more from their teaching in that year in that school than he is. Of course I would want to know why that is and if I could help - what parent wouldn't.

Besides, all the classes are streamed for literacy and numberacy so I don't know why it is a big secret where the children are in relation to the rest of the class. The children know (because they work it out) but for some reason the teachers don't want to tell the parents and as others have said, it is the secrecy that is annoying.

FWIW we weren't told directly that DS1 was on the SEN register either. We talked about his dx and what was being done to help him but nobody ever said he was on the SEN register or that he was on SA+ until I asked. I suppose it was obvious but nobody actually said.

So if I ask have they got to give me levels?

Yes.

If they refuse say you will apply for the level information through the LA.

Bertha, to answer the questions you have raised, you only need to know your dc's progress - which I agree is as important as knowing where they are against national expectations. You don't need to know other children's rate of progress to ascertain this, and nor ar you entitled to find this out.

Thanks Becaroo.

Agree feenie I dont care how the other children are doing frankly, thats the teachers and their parents job, not mine.

I only care how my son is doing and that does not just mean academically...I want to know if he is polite, well mannered, kind and does he have friends? Is is happy? Is he confident?

NC levels only tell part of the story IMHO.

So Feenie it wouldn't matter to you if your child was not making as much progress as everybody else? Wouldn't you want to know why because I would. What is the point of the Value Added score in the league tables if it isn't to give you an indication of the rate of progress being made by a particular cohort of children in a particular year? You don't get that information at any other time except at the end of the KSs. It is fine as historical data but I also want to know what the rate of progress is being made now and if my child was making less progress than the rest of the children I want to know if there is something I can do about it. I am not saying I am entitled to know or that teachers should be forced to tell me but these are the reasons why I want to know. I can't see what harm it does. Nobody is naming names or comparing child against child although that said, I couldn't give a damn if other parents know how much progress my child is making. Why would I?

My child isn't every other child, they are an individual. So unlike a car on the Nissan production line, won't be exactly the same as all the others at any given point. My child may progress slower than most of the class this term and faster than most next term and as long as they are progressing I don't care what the other children in the class are doing.

Great feedback everyone.

Just to say, I'm fairly new to teaching, having left a very senior job in Management (wanted to do something far more morally rewarding!)

I love being a teacher. BUT so far, I really do not like the politics and some of the very weird things I have encountered in teaching. Personally, I think we, as professionals, have a duty to ensure that parents are kept fully informed of their child's progress.

However. It is fair to say, that the majority of teachers have been teachers all their lives. Indeed, they never actually left school. They just went to university, did a PGCE and hey ho, back in the classroom. This, IMO, is where the problem lies in the teaching profession.

Personally I think you should have to be a minimum of 28 to be a teacher. Bring some much needed life experience and reality into the profession.

Oh. Parents' evening went very well :) . I was honest. I had some great feedback from the parents. So I'm happy that all my hard work is paying off, and that they know that I care about their children.