Parents, what do you think about this?

[confusedandconcerned]

I have a 6 year old boy in my class who sometimes disturbs the other children by getting in their space and not leaving them alone. He will make noises right in their face, or follow them around calling them silly names, or sit right next to them, leaning on them, etc.

He obviously does have behaviour difficulties and these are being addressed. When he behaves like this, the teacher or myself (TA) will ask him to stop. If he doesn't we usually ask the other child to move. If he follows the child and continues to annoy them, we give him the opportunity to do something else (a pre-agreed activity). If he still doesn't stop, and as a last resort, I will physically remove him from the room using approved techniques which I have been trained to use. This makes him very angry and he then needs some time to cool down.

Now the headteacher has told me that, instead of removing him from the room, I should ask the other child, the one that he was annoying, to go out of the room for a few minutes. Even if it is during lesson time. I will do this as it's what the head has told me to do, but it doesn't 'sit right' with me.

As a parent, how would you feel if your child was removed during lesson time because another child was disrupting the lesson?

I would not be happy - why not redirect the other child to another activity within the classroom

Eveiebaby if it was that easy , I think she would have done that already

I didn't read the post properly I see she already does what I suggested - so sorry for my input.

Appreciate OP that you are seeking advice in your own time which is commendable and shows great consideration for your class but you need to be really careful that the child cannot be identified ie by comments about specific incidents with timings such as last week x happened.

Sorry but I know I would be more than upset if other parents could recognize my DCs behaviour from any postings. It is very difficult to be the parent of a child who annoys their peers especially affecting lessons.

Well done OP on asking for advice

In this instance the head is wrong.

You sound a lovely TA to me, and I would be very happy that you were thinking about the impact on my dd as well as on the boy with SN.

I think my dd might be fine with being sent out so long as she went to see someone who was going to be nice to her - ie to the school secretary for a sticker. I'd object if she kept being sent out, but if he targets different children then maybe that wouldn't happen.

There was a little girl with severe SN in DD's reception class. She found her really difficult to be around and I found it hard on dd's behalf. But as time went on, she really learned a lot through being around that little girl - the one-on-one TA told me with tears in her eyes that dd had stuck up for her when another child was being mean.

I do think children can be very tolerant in these situations, so long as a) their safety is prioritised (by nice staff like you!) and b) they know what is happening and understand why.

well, if the children had been primed to know that they are not in trouble and they get to go to play with the special toy outside the classroom then it would be ok. you would have to sell it to the children though otherwise they may think they are in trouble. dd would be distraught and howl and it would lead to nightmares so I would be furious.

I think if my DD was removed without warning she would be really upset and worry that she had done something naughty. However if she had been told in advance I think it would be ok - maybe when the boy was out of the room the rest of the class could be told. I've heard about schools where young children are specifically told all about a classmate's SN and shown how to help them and be a good friend. I think if my DD was told that sometimes she might need to go outside to help her classmate feel better she would be fine with it.

Why isn't the mother getting a GP appt though :(

I wouldn't mind my dd leaving the classroom under these conditions but only if it was a one-off or a purely short-term strategy. I wouldn't be happy though if this was set up as a long-term strategy. I think it could be disruptive, particularly if the boy in the OP has particular favourites that he follows around each time.

I think that the school is asking far too much to expect the boy to be able to recognise for himself when he is likely to feel unable to cope. This is something that often has to be taught.

Expecting him to choose between different activities may also be too much for him, particularly if he is already starting to get worked up.