Parents, what do you think about this?

[confusedandconcerned]

I have a 6 year old boy in my class who sometimes disturbs the other children by getting in their space and not leaving them alone. He will make noises right in their face, or follow them around calling them silly names, or sit right next to them, leaning on them, etc.

He obviously does have behaviour difficulties and these are being addressed. When he behaves like this, the teacher or myself (TA) will ask him to stop. If he doesn't we usually ask the other child to move. If he follows the child and continues to annoy them, we give him the opportunity to do something else (a pre-agreed activity). If he still doesn't stop, and as a last resort, I will physically remove him from the room using approved techniques which I have been trained to use. This makes him very angry and he then needs some time to cool down.

Now the headteacher has told me that, instead of removing him from the room, I should ask the other child, the one that he was annoying, to go out of the room for a few minutes. Even if it is during lesson time. I will do this as it's what the head has told me to do, but it doesn't 'sit right' with me.

As a parent, how would you feel if your child was removed during lesson time because another child was disrupting the lesson?

There must be a better way. I don't see it right to punish the boy who gets in the way, sounds like he can't help himself, but sending someone else out will make them feel punished too.

Could you sell it to the removed child as some kind of treat, so they go out & get something special, even if it's just a sticker?

Punished or safe? Would you like to be harassed with someone in your face? I'd rather be outside the lesson for a few moments.

Like Indigo I'd be furious if you restrained my child too.

Are you documenting each and every time you do this? It's illegal otherwise.

The child needs seeing by an ed psych and the parents advised to ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician.

Have you tried looking at why his doing this? What reaction is he looking for? Cut him off before he gets there!

A sticker would reward the other Children for being harassed and they might encourage his game?

You're the TA? What does the teacher say?

My DD would be completely incandescent by the time she got home if she'd been sent out of the class for another child misbehaving.

I might well be sympathetic if I knew why or what was being tried, but she'd be quite rightly indignant enough about it that I doubt I'd even have to contact anyone on her behalf.

Well said, you have to work out why the boy is doing this... What does he gain from it and then take that away... The angle you are coming from will not solve the problem.

I think the other children would have it explained to them, that it's not there doing...

What would you do if the other child refused to leave the classroom, punish them or physically remove them ?
I don't like the sound of this situation at all tbh.

I did raise the issue of physical contact with the head and she said that because the staff are trained to use approved techniques, then we can use them. There is no restraint, just moving the child out of the room. This is only done if someone is in danger or distress. Therefore, if he is continually leaning on a child and following them to continue leaning, or shouting right in their face, this is distressing to the other child. If he won't leave them alone, he has to be removed. He has to go out of the room or he will just go back to the child.

Does he have fidget toys or play dough or something to occupy him to stop him annoying other children?

Does he have a move n sit cushion?

Do you take him out for movement breaks?

Have you asked the ASD outreach team for suggestions?

Have you got an EP in to assess him?

What about an OT?

I don't like the sound of your HT.

Yes, this is documented each and every time. All the correct procedure is followed and all the correct paperwork filled out. The child is not harmed in any way.

I find the lack of support from the SMT quite frustrating and as I am only the TA I do not get involved in or sometimes even informed of, what they are doing about it. However, as I work with the child all day everyday, I think I should be.

I had an opportunity to try it this afternoon when we lined up at playtime and this boy starting screaming into the face of the girl next to him. She told him to stop and he carried on, so I took the little girl by the hand and said, let's go on into class. He hit her in the back as we were walking away.

But I will keep trying.

There are lots of people on this thread talking about this boy and what should/could be done for him, and that's fine. But I was really asking for parents opinions on the innocent child being removed. I will make sure that the child realises it's not a punishment and will give them a sticker or some other reward for their helpful behaviour. Would most parents be happy with this, considering the circumstances, and would you want to be told.

I don't believe for a minute that you've received any appropriate training... part of the training I received on restraint techniques, actually involved training in intervention techniques and ways of diverting attention.

Physically restraining a child is an absolute last resort...the Head is right to suggest removing other children to prevent needing to restrain a child.

I'm also a bit bemused that school are waiting on the child's mother to make a GPs appointment...several other posts have explained other steps that should be being taken by the school.

Feel a bit sorry for the child all round, and hope he gets some decent professional help soon

That's my point entirely, although I can understand why you are concerned about the other children, your focus on them will not resolve the situation and therefore they will still suffer. I think a bit of open mindedness is required here.

IndigoBell he is allowed to go outside whenever he likes. He has also chosen several other activities which he can go to at any time if he feels he cannot cope with being with the other children. There is a multi-sensory area in the class and outside play available. He is supposed to choose one of these when he needs some 'time'. I only remove him when he doesn't choose one of his activities.

He hit her in the back as we were walking away.

How often is this happening ?

Im sorry but you seem very concerned about how this is looking to other kids parents, when you have had some good suggestions from SN parents which you aren't considering.
As for the comment that he is not harmed, he may not be physically harmed but I can promise you this is harming him in other ways!

I too would be furious if my dc were removed. Unless the boy concerned is picking on one particular child, surely he will just move onto someone else.

You all sound a bit out of your depth (understandably).

There is a child with similar issues in my DD's class, and yes, I would rather she were removed from a difficult situation with him than he were frequently sent into meltdown by physical restraint. And I would hope my DD would see it that way. Her class are pretty supportive of their classmate really.

Lisa - but there are 29 other children in the class and whilst this boy's needs are very important, their needs must be considered too.

if his in meltdown or obbessive mode, there isnt a chance in hell he could choose an activity at that point.

yes of course their needs need to be considered, but by focusing only on them and their feeling, nothing is going to change