My DD is in Reception class. On her first day at school the teacher shouted at her which shocked my DD. Also on our children's first day at school the teacher did not welcome or greet the new parents which left many of us feeling troubled. Most parents of the class find the teacher cold and stern and some have described her as a battle axe. I wanted to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt. One parent who is a primary school teacher of 8 years is also deeply concerned about the attitude of this teacher.
One month in at pick up time DD came out distressed and said to the Mum next to me that her DD had not been nice to her. I immediately intervened and told DD to stop complaining to her friend's Mum but was interrupted by the teacher who proceeded to yell at my DD infront of all the parents and classmates "Stop being a such a tattle tale young Madam and you are no angel either". The teacher is now regularly shouting at DD and has continues to call her a tattle tail infront of others and has also started calling her a fibber infront of others. At the parent/teacher meeting the teacher seemed concerned about a friendship that DD has with another apparently more popular girl stating that DD is too focused on her. This suprised us as we feel that socially DD is blossoming and has made lots of friends and had playdates with half the class.
On another occassion DD finnished the day and came out with a furious look on her face. The teacher said to DD goodbye and DD shot back a furious glare at the teacher which I have never seen her do to anyone. A few weeks later DD broke down at home saying that her teacher does not want her in the class and that the teacher REALLY does not like her. No parent wants to hear that their child feels unwelcome in class by their teacher.
She had been saying every week that she went to the teacher for help because someone was mean to her or that she hurt herself, one time she had a large splinter in her hand or to get help for her friends and the response was always dissmissive which has shocked my DD. At her previous nursery she always got support on most of these occassions.
This week at collection time I was called in by the teacher with an especially stern look and taken up to the Head teacher's office without any forewarning. Both Head and class teacher sat there and proceeded to explain that they are concerned with my daughter's speech and where she is getting certain ideas from and that they are concerned that she is having a negative influence on one of her friends. Then they explained that her friend was at home and when her Mum was in another room she went into her purse and stole money and brought it into school. When this girl was caught out, the teacher found money in the classroom, she blamed my DD for telling her to do it. Then my DD was questioned by this teacher and all she said was that it was a joke. DD is 5 and at that age they are not that articulate. Because my daughter did not deny it, the teacher believed the other girl and judged that DD was being a bad influence.
I made the point that DD could have asked her friend to bring coins but that does not mean asking her to steal or to go behind her Mum's back. I also stated that no one overheard their conversation so there is realy no proof. At this point I had not had the chance to speak to DD myself. I pointed out to both teachers that it appears that they are not giving my DD the benefit of the doubt and that they have made their minds up about her actions based on the accusations of a girl who clearly has done wrong and is trying to deflect blame on my DD. I asked her class teacher whether DD is generaly disobedient in class or is disruptive and she answered "no". I asked whether she has ever experienced DD taking things that are not hers in class and she said no.
DD is a very well behaved and has never showed any sneaky behaviour or caused us or anyone trouble. She is not a bully and infact sticks up for the children who gets bullied and has at times been picked on herself. She has never taken anything at home or school without permission and all her previous teachers have described her as well behaved with good age appropriate social skills. Infact she has always had very good relations with her past teachers. Of course she is not perfect but at the same time I and her previous nursery have not had this type of experience with DD and I explained this to these teachers.
I have requested a meeting with the teachers now that I have questioned my DD. Her version is that they wanted to play a game called driedel at their future playdate. This game involves a spinning top and if it lands in a certain way you win chocolate coins. Her friend does not have chocolate coins so my DD asked her to bring coins from her piggy bank instead. DD is adamant about this and I accept this explanation because they had a playdate just before Xmas that was cancelled and beforehand I had bought driedels for them to play with and I have recently given my daughter chocolate coins.
Thank you for reading this long thread. Please can you advise me on how to tackle my concerns during this upcomming meeting with the Head Teacher who has requested the class teacher to be present. Also please note that the school is privately owned with no governing body. Thanks