Reception DD is bored silly with school already

[whomovedmychocolate]

DD (5.3) has come home from her first week back really upset and saying she's fed up with school because the rest of the kids are so far behind her and they are just learning their letters and numbers.

I don't know what to do for the best; I was accelerated through school as was DH so I guess we sort of expect her to do well academically but we didn't think she'd get bored this early. She's at an excellent state school and we were thinking about moving her to the independent sector (if we can work out the finances) when she's eight or nine.

I can do extension work with her at home but actually, that's just alienating her at school because all her peers are just on such a radically different level. Should I talk to the teacher - I don't want to be an overbearing parent only ten weeks into the year but she's starting to lose the joy of going to school already :( And she was so happy about going to start with and so exciting about starting to learn formally. :(

Hmmm I see what you mean now by children being bored in Reception. Some prefer structure. Where I come from it is structured learning all the way,including nursery-they only played a bit. We were used to it and it didn't seem odd at all. Just wondering now if some kids were bored with the system and would have done better in the 'learn through play' system of here. And there was no differentiation too and homework from the start,yes nursery!

Isn't differentiation a given here? How come some schools/teachers apply it and some don't?

My (reception) DD is reading Roald Dahl (The twits, Matlida), Enid Blyton, Beatrix Potter. She was reading stage 11 ORT before the teacher and I agreed she should stop the school reading scheme because the books were slightly over her head and I knew what was more suitable to her. She can do her 2 and 10 times tables, asks me what words mean which I have to look up and she's not bored at school! Her teacher is amazing and she gets sent to year 2 for phonics lessons and a mixed 1/2 class for maths.

Your daughter is in the wrong school 'for her' if you think she's bored or not learning anything. They should be able to differentiate for her easily at that stage. I do think she may have been asked to write more than 'c..a...t' though after reading your post about her sentence

As I've said before, differentiation didn't stop my ds1 saying school was "boring." School was boring for him because he wanted to be in year 2 with his brother and his brother's friends. He didn't see himself as a reception child... I think children that like more structure also often tend to like older children who behave in a slightly less unpredictable and chaotic way. There's an awful lot less random grabbing, hitting, running off in the middle of a game, losing concentration, etc, going on in year 1 than there was in reception.

What is the balance of free play vs formal activity at your DD's school? My experience of DD's Reception class was that there were only short bursts of formal activity (some differentiated) but there was a lot of free play where the children were able to do a mixture of different activities at their own level.

As an example, the whole class worked on "writing their own name" in the early months. DD and some of her friends who could already do this, worked on better letter formation in the "writing your own name" slots and spent their free play time writing notes to each other, stories about princesses, the script for a play ... all with the encouragement of the teaching staff. The point I'm trying to make is that they had endless opportunity to do whatever writing they wanted to - and weren't tied down at all by the class target.

I can see that if your DD's Reception "forces" everyone to work at the same level it could easily get boring. Is this actually the case, or does your DD need more guidance (from a member of the teaching staff) in how to "stretch" herself?

Very interesting points about children lacking peers who are "on their level". I've always been of the view that bright children ought still to be able to get plenty out of the Reception experience. DD1 certainly did - she was streets ahead academically, but the teacher was brilliant at finding interesting projects for her to "play" at.

Thinking back, I also realise that she had two good friends that were on a similar level. I guess one reason they got on so well was that they "got" each other, intellectually as well as socially.

Don't know what the answer is to that one. It would be awkward to go looking for another school with "intellectually suitable friends for my children" as a criteria .

DD is an end of August born, but is incredibly bright. According to her end of term report, she is consistently performing at KS1 level for maths and her literacy/reading skills are on a par with her Yr1 peers (she actually does most of her class work with Yr1 but, as she is in a mixed YrR / Yr1 class, she is still with her own class mates so to speak). I am lucky, I love DD's school and the teaching staff - her work always seems to be set at the right level and she is progressing very well. It's swings and roundabouts though, as DD has to work on her manipulation of scissors - she has a tendency to hack at the paper

I don't have the answer unfortunately and I hope it all works out, I would be devastated if my DD was losing her thirst for learning.

Free play isn't always the answer if it's not what you want to do - some of the activities which DD (who is unusual, I will happily admit!) chooses at home, like workbooks or reading chapter books, just aren't available in her reception classroom. As I've said before, she solves this by doing them at home, but I think she still doesn't find the options entirely satisfying.

Korma - I think the biggest advantage of having a peer group (apart from the fact that it forces the school to do something ) is that becomes ok for children to show what they can do in the classroom. DD doesn't like standing out, which means that she won't do the kind of play on her own in the classroom - and it's not much fun alone either.

I do think that is the point that some posters are missing. Yes, you can set work at an appropriate level, but if you are the only child able and wanting to do it, it's pretty isolating, so not exactly the answer to all your problems. Liking doing things that older children would enjoy doing with you but your peers don't enjoy yet does not make you socially inadequate, it just makes you, hopefully temporarily, out of place. All you need, of course, is one other like minded child in the class, but not every reception class in the country has several academically precocious children within it.

I know I would be and feel totally out of place if I were expected to trot around a reception classroom acting as though I were the children's peer. It wouldn't just be my size and age that would mark me out as different - I wouldn't be capable of enjoying playing with them all day as a peer rather than as a carer, teacher or even mentor, because, frankly, they are irritating and immature as peers and can't share many of my favourite interests, because I do, for example, like to: read and write; play board games without someone not understanding the rules at all or wandering off before they've finished or having a tantrum and throwing the pieces on the floor; and have a bit more of an interesting storyline to my imaginative play acting... It might be fun being silly with them for a few minutes, but all day, every day? I don't think so. I'd be tearing my hair out and telling everyone how bored I was, or trying to find a quiet corner to escape them all for a while.

Fortunately, once children are 6 or 7, in a reasonable sized school, a lot of the early, huge differences in attitude, concentration levels and abilities with reading and writing, have narrowed and the chances of having absolutely no-one in the class you can enjoy playing and learning with, are hugely diminished. Particularly once play and learning are more clearly delineated. A lot of reception children really are still babies in mind and at heart.

Redskyatnight, our Reception sounded very similar to yours. Mostly free play in the various areas (construction, home, art etc. etc.), with short sessions of tuition, using whiteboards for letters and sounds. The children didn't have a set place to sit at, but rather worked where they liked, a lot sat on the floor.

My dd found this hard, she liked sitting down and concentrating on stuff and I think found the 'free for all' feel about the class very disturbing. The tales I heard about what went on.....so and so putting stuff in the toilet, someone else cutting the hair off the doll in the homecorner, 4 year olds being sent to the headmistress (I kid you not), this was a class with a NQT and a TA. It sounded chaotic and I didn't say anything about it, thinking that my dd must be wrong.

When we decided to take our dd out of the school at the start of Yr2, the head told me that they stuck rigidly to the EYFS. She also said that in reality it wasn't right for that group, they needed more structure and 'bums on seats', she admitted they had run riot and that it was the fact that there was a NQT and also she herself didn't feel she could intervene at the time.

I am sure that this focus on play is great for some of the younger ones, but the older children, who may be nearly a year older than the youngest, probably don't need this. Good on the schools that recognise this and split the children, or vary the work, but I fear that a lot of the time with 30 in a class, this isn't always easy or practical.

I do wonder now, whether it is wise to teach the basics at home - are you setting them up for being bored when they start them again at school? If I was doing it again, I question if I would do any numbers or letters before starting, but that is probably another thread!

As others have said, children do a lot of play-based independent learning in Reception. They probably have a writing area and a maths area etc where children can choose to go and do activities.

I'd maybe, find out from her teacher what activities are available in independent learning times. Then you could talk to your DD about how she can do work the way she wants to in these times. She can choose to do her own "harder" work then if she wants to.

So you might ask her - can she go to the writing area and write a really good story for her teacher. Can she look at the numbers in the maths area and see if she can write some more different ones. Can she make up some "hard" adding or take-away sums herself and then do them. Can she write about an activity that she has done with other children or a game they have played? Can she make up a story about the "small world" figures they have in the class or the characters they have dressing up clothes for. Can she build a great model using construction materials (lego, big blocks, whatever they have on offer) and then draw a picture of it and label it? Talk to her about the fun things she can do outside (bikes, running, gardening, climbing, den making (depends on the outdoor area)) and how these are ways you can learn about how to use your body. Help her to realise that leaning isn't only happening when you have a pencil in your hand.

Maybe you could ask her about what she has learned at school about playing with others, being part of a team etc.

Just suggestions that might help maybe?

learning not leaning - of course!!

Rabbitstew - yes, that's it exactly, only much better expressed than I can manage. I'm glad you say that it gets better (although I remember getting to university, and feeling deep relief that at last I was surrounded by people I had a lot more in common with).

Sarah, I could ask DD to do that as much as I wanted, but she wouldn't. partly because she'd never remember, in a good part because I'm not the teacher and what the teacher says is what matters in school. But also because she doesn't feel it's welcome there. She told me a while back that she could only count to 20 'because that's all we've learned at school' - which would be fine were it not for the fact that she was counting to 100 before she started.

If the classroom doesn't encourage that kind of extension and your child isn't a fan of showing off, then with the greatest will in the world, it's pushing boulders uphill.

"But also because she doesn't feel it's welcome there."

That is very sad and not how I think good reception classes operate.

onesandwichshort - I know it gets better, although I too didn't find I had a lot of hobbies and interests in common with the people around me until I went to university (despite having gone to a grammar school - there is a big difference between being bright and being academic). However, I loved school, the only exception being my last year of primary school when the 11-plus loomed and the class was divided up into expected passes, expected fails and the borderline table which got lots of attention... It didn't do any good for class relations. And anyway, post-university I am again surrounded mainly by people I like but with whom I have, in many ways, little in common. Thanks to school I'm well armed for that! There is very rarely nothing to like about someone and I find the differences between people very interesting.

My DD is also in reception. She is widely accepted to be the most advanced in the class - which I find embarrassing to write so no rude comments please. However, she loves school. Any topic can be altered to every child's level. For example, If they draw a picture at school my DD turns it onto a mini-book and most children are learning to read/write 45 hi-frequency words whilst my DD is on batch 400-500. She just gets different homework. Mostly though she loves the social aspect of school.

I think this is either the teacher not attempting to engage your child or your child not be able to make the most of what is on offer. I wonder why that is. If she had a thirst of knowledge as you say she should be able to seek out the new and exciting in the situation.

Perhaps she and her teacher need to approach it differently but not sure how that would be - which is no help I know.