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Original poster

Teachers; how would you deal with 9 year old boy drawing boobs on a mermaid?

103 replies

DrNortherner · 07/12/2011 16:33

Ds's school have a red and yellow card system. Usually give 2 warnings, then a yellow, then a red. Teacher writes reason on the card, parent signs an sends it back to school.

Ds gutted he got a red card. Teacher wrote "ds defaced someone else's work"

I was Shock as it sounds terrible. However, upon investigation it became clear that lunchtime play was stopped today due to bad weather, they stayed in the classroom watching a DVD and colouring in/doodling. A girl on ds's table was colouring a mermaid, ds drew boobs on the mermaid, teacher came in and saw the boobs and asked who did it. Ds admitted. She dished out the red card.

I feel a bit miffed that her description on the card leads you to believe he actually defaced someones hard work during a lesson, when in fact during unsupervised DVD watching he drew a pair of boobs on a mermaid. I think 'that's a bit rude' chat would have sufficed, or am I wrong?

I would appreciate opinions please.

OP posts:
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TheAvocadoOfWisdom · 07/12/2011 17:22

Come on, the kid is 9 and he's done something mischievous and immature. He's been punished. It's not going on his UCAS form, he's not getting a record, he just has a bit of paper home from school. Get over yourself OP.

Original poster
DrNortherner · 07/12/2011 17:23

No I don't live in Surrey.

The Mum will be fine with me asking. I simply want all the facts before I do/say anything that's all.

OP posts:
Original poster
DrNortherner · 07/12/2011 17:25

I don't need to get over myself avocado, I am actually very laid back and relaxed about all this stuff.

OP posts:
grumplestilskin · 07/12/2011 17:29

depends on how it was done and what the girl's reaction was to it
i.e. if it was snatched off her and she protested and it was done in a mocking way... yup a card would be given, but a yellow one surely unless he already had a yellow??

but if they were sitting next to each other and she was letting him join in with her drawing then it was a HUGE overreaction

anyways mermaids are supposed to have boobs Confused

bigTillyMincepie · 07/12/2011 17:31

Overreaction on part of teacher. But if they have had various Supply teachers for 3 weeks, I imagine the class are getting fairly lairy.....

elfyrespect · 07/12/2011 17:35

I think you have the facts. What do you want to know? -How much upset has been demonstrated by the girl?
What are you thinking of doing/saying?
I feel a bit bad for the girl if she's being quizzed by you via her mum about it.

I think your quibble, rather than being about the girl, should be about the teacher not following the school's warnings/yellow card proceedure for punishments.

DownbytheRiverside · 07/12/2011 17:36

What an interesting post, I was going to say that mermaids have breasts; figureheads, non-disney images often show them topless... But then I realised it wasn't his mermaid and that alters everything.
He defaced another child's picture with a crude graffiti, he deserved the red card.
Doesn't matter what the girl's reaction was, what about the next time?
What id the next time, he gets a slap? Or the child tells her mother, and then your child is discussed as a dirty little sex maniac by the playground mafia?
At 9, he should have some idea about what's ok and what isn't in school, he sounds immature and a bit gormless.

Bonsoir · 07/12/2011 17:37

No, OP, it is not OK for your 9 year old DS to draw on a girl's picture - it doesn't matter whether he drew boobs or glasses or a moustache, he just shouldn't do it, not ever.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 07/12/2011 17:42

DownByTheRiverside - lovely way for a teacher to describe a child.

QuickLookBusy · 07/12/2011 17:43

It's a little bit ironic that you think the teacher has been OTT in the handling of your son's behaviour and you now seem to be going OTT in your desire to get the facts.

Hulababy · 07/12/2011 17:43

Downbytheriverside - that is not a fair reflection on the young boy! Yes, he is immature - he is, after all, only 9 years old. His actions were a bit daft, a bit cheeky even, but that is all. He is only a little boy, still learning. He hasn't done anything that wrong.

DownbytheRiverside · 07/12/2011 17:44

Have you ever heard how some mothers talk about other children in the playground Chippingin?
Believe me, I've heard a lot worse, and some of it directed at my son. The playground mafia cause a lot of damage, exclude children and gossip like old hags round a gibbet.

DownbytheRiverside · 07/12/2011 17:45

At 9, he should know that you don't draw on other children's work.

moonstorm · 07/12/2011 17:47

If he had drawn a penis (on something else), would it have been different?

Maybe an overreaction, maybe not. Depends on the back story. Sometimes you need to be a little over the top - the teacher couldn't have known how the girl would have taken it. Imagine if the teacher had dismissed it, the girl had gone home and complained and questions had been asked about why it wasn't dealt with properly.

Yes women have breasts, but they are normally covered. The punishment wasn't about drawing breasts anyway, but for defacing someone's work. It doesn't matter when it happened, unless you think behaviour depends on whther you are going to be caught, or not...

DownbytheRiverside · 07/12/2011 17:48

This girl wasn't bothered, the next one might be.

Original poster
DrNortherner · 07/12/2011 17:48

I'm not being OTT. Ds is assuring me the girl was not upset. I know her Mum well enough to ask. If she was then I will say nothing. If she wasn't pset then I think it was a little OTT, coupled with the fact that they were unsupervised, and that they have had no consistency of teaching the past 3 weeks.

And yes my 9 year old ds is immature, as his 41 year old Father.... He is also polite, bright, funny and well mannered downbytheriverside but seeing as you don't know us from Adam I shall ignore your input.

OP posts:
Bonsoir · 07/12/2011 17:51

It is immaterial whether the girl minded or not. It is not acceptable to deface someone's else's possessions, ever, and at 9 years old a child should know this. A 5 year old should know this.

Original poster
DrNortherner · 07/12/2011 17:52

My point is, the girl in question is his pal. They are in a little group together, have been for years. She is a tough cookie. There are girls in his class who would be upset at this, and I hope ds would not do it to them. I think it's that fact that they were messing around, she was his mate, that led him to feel he could do it IYSWIM. Of course it's wrong to spoil someone else's work, but I just feel that if the teacher knew him, and the girl better, she might not have red carded him.

And quite frankly I don't give a toss what they so call playground mafia think. Tits on a Mermaid is hardly crime of the century.

OP posts:
mrz · 07/12/2011 17:55

I would ask him to apologise for spoiling the picture (if the girl was upset) otherwise I would ignore it as silliness.

mummytime · 07/12/2011 17:55

I think red and yellow cards is a bit odd for a primary school. But some teachers do over react, and there isn't much you can do about it.
I'd just let it slide personally.

Bonsoir · 07/12/2011 17:57

They were at school where there are rules about how children behave towards one another. Defacing another's child's work or property is not allowed at school. Frankly, I wouldn't allow it at home either and no other parent I know would, but if you do in your own home that is your issue. Not at school, where children and parents must abide by the rules of civilised behaviour at all times.

elfyrespect · 07/12/2011 17:57

I'm trying to imagine what I would say to you if I was the other mum and you messaged me - I think I'd probably play it down and say not to worry about it too much, rather than tell you that DD is precious about her drawings and have it linger on and on.

I also wonder how the teacher knew about it if they were unsupervised. Someone, whether the girl or another friend saw fit to complain about what your DS had done.

QuickLookBusy · 07/12/2011 17:59

OP you are not taking on board that the punishment was NOT for upsetting the girl but for defacing work.

You really are over reacting by texting this mum and asking her to find out if her DD was upset. Don't you see that?

mrz · 07/12/2011 18:00

I understand the "crime" took place during a wet playtime when children can relax
elfyrespect the OP said A girl on ds's table was colouring a mermaid, ds drew boobs on the mermaid, teacher came in and saw the boobs and asked who did it. Ds admitted. She dished out the red card. so that's how the teacher knew

mrz · 07/12/2011 18:00

It wasn't work!

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