Teachers; how would you deal with 9 year old boy drawing boobs on a mermaid?

[DrNortherner]

Ds's school have a red and yellow card system. Usually give 2 warnings, then a yellow, then a red. Teacher writes reason on the card, parent signs an sends it back to school.

Ds gutted he got a red card. Teacher wrote "ds defaced someone else's work"

I was as it sounds terrible. However, upon investigation it became clear that lunchtime play was stopped today due to bad weather, they stayed in the classroom watching a DVD and colouring in/doodling. A girl on ds's table was colouring a mermaid, ds drew boobs on the mermaid, teacher came in and saw the boobs and asked who did it. Ds admitted. She dished out the red card.

I feel a bit miffed that her description on the card leads you to believe he actually defaced someones hard work during a lesson, when in fact during unsupervised DVD watching he drew a pair of boobs on a mermaid. I think 'that's a bit rude' chat would have sufficed, or am I wrong?

I would appreciate opinions please.

It's a tricky one for the teacher if she's not permanent. A permanent teacher could simply explain to the child that he shouldn't draw on other people's work and leave it at that, unless it happens again. Children do childish things, after all. But a supply teacher can't know if she's going to be there next week. She may have a greater motive for wanting to use instant fixes. Children do need teachers who know them, not a series of strangers.

It's not bullying.

If the girl had been working hard on her work then yes, it is unkind and he deserves to get into trouble for that. Was the girl upset? Many children would be.

And the fact that he was doing something a bit cheeky or a bit rude, especially at school, would be something we would have to tell him off for. Infact I did speak to a boy in my Y1 class yesterday for drawing boobs on his snowman picture.

But it was surely only a yellow card thing wasn't it, not straight to red. But I suppose it does depend on how/the manner it was done, how upset the child was and his reaction to be being told off.

sounds like an overreaction to me, especially if the girl had not been upset by it at all (is that right drno?). I'd put it down to an inexperienced teacher not getting things entirely in perspective. Annoying, but then everyone is inexperienced at their job at some point.

(btw I'm not stalking you, this was just on the most active convos!)

OH PLEEEEEASE DN, please text the mother

I agree with you, over reaction and not very helpful!

Stalk away sticky!

Have just messaged the Mum to get her dd's POV.

TBH though I think it does make a difference that what he drew were boobs, not just a doodle. I imagine the teacher would assume he was doing it to be a bit cheeky. The teacher wouldn't be telling him off for knowing breasts exit, but for doodling a cheeky picture in class and on someone else's work. Again, it is the manner it which is done.

At least tits on a Mermaid are in contact

context I mean!

IT really depends on the whole story though, and you are definately not going to get it from your DS.

Perhaps he had been warned about other misbehaviours. Perhaps he had got yellow cards for other misbehaviours, perhaps this was the last straw? Who knows.

Best thing is to go in tomorrow and ask the teacher for the circumstances around this.

And I thought a "pair of boobs", were a couple of dumb guys!

Hula don't forget it was not 'in class' but during unsupervised lunchtime play whilst watching a film. Would you not expect a certain amount of high jinks?

I think it is over the top, but I really don't think anyone should be drawing on somebody's work, even if it is "only" colouring in.

What happens next regarding a red card-is it noted down that he's had one?

Also I prefer DD's penguin version of "a little mermaid" because they do have proper breasts (and the grandmother has droopy ones ). The Disney mermaid with her bikini top (and happy ending! FFS) I think underlines society's stupid attitude to women, why we have Page 3 and all these silly hang ups about women's bodies. Yes, women have boobs

So I would really not get excited about it being a boobie doodle as opposed to any other scribble.

were they Katie Price comedy boobs or something a bit more feminine?

Just because she wasn't visably upset at the time to him doesn't mean it didn't upset her and the teacher knew. I remember on several occasions giggling with everyone else while feeling very upset.

From the teacher's comments the fact it was boobs on a mermaid was irrelevant. A 9 yr old should not be drawing on another child's drawing.

A red card sounds a bit OTT but if its just one and not going to be a big blot on his copy book wouldn't it be easy to blow this bit of a nothing out of proportion?

Not sure how far I'd go along the lines of contacting the other parent unless they were a good friend of mine. I guess you'll find out if you here back what the other side is.

I would have problems with him ruining another person's drawing.

the fact it was boobs would not concern me.

Yabu. Red car sounds ott.

But, the drawing of boobs, hmmm...

I was shocked to see that my ds had drawn a pair of boobs on a womans head on a worksheet to be given to his teacher. I quizzed him about it, and he said they were aliens goggly eyes, and he had forgotten to draw the eyebrows. When he added the eyebrows it totally changed the picture, and it did look quite cool, actually, in a "how to turn a woman into a menacing alien sort of way".

Is that what your ds was aiming to do?

Yes, I would to an extent, but expecting there to be some is different to not acting on it if it happens :) I'd still have to speak to him and, in your school system, would issue a yellow card. I think red and not following the system is over reacting.

I would ask why they were unsupervised though. At lunchtime our lunchtime supervisers are in the classroom to supervise.

I know her well enough to ask. She is nice and friendly.

I wouldn't have texted the other parent either. I don't think it's fair on the girl, if she's a friend she's not exactly going to say "Oh yes I was really upset"

And it really doesn't matter if the girl was upset or not, he was being punished for defacing work not for upsetting someone.

If my DD took the trouble to draw and colour a mermaid picture during unsupervised play (drawing it for herself, or for me etc - not as a part of classwork) I know that someone else drawing on it would really upset her. And she probably wouldn't say a lot about it to the friend that did it either.

Sounds like an overreaction to me. I think jumping to a red card is probably appropriate where some kind of violence or similar has been involved, this sounds like a yellow card and slightly stern trying not to giggle talking to situation.

To be honest, for something like this, if it happened at lunch time I really wouldn't see it as my problem (Braces for telling off). There are lunch time staff who are there to deal with low level problems on a lunchtime, I am generally only involved if it is considered a major incident, which this is not.

Do you live in Surrey OP?

This reminds me of the time I was summonded to DS1's school because he had "vandalised the boys' toilets". At age 4. He'd actually decorated the toilets using an entire loo roll in much the way you'd use tinsel. He has ASD & the day before had helped me put the Christmas tinsel up at home .