school says my ds does not need a statement?

[crazygal]

hello there everyone...
i did put this post else where,but got no response,
i hope someone can help me here.
my ds is 7,and just 3 weeks ago got diagnosed with mild ADHD,
over the last 2 and a half years of school we have being called in several times over his behaviour,
with them saying hes troublesome,challenging,disruptive etc.....
we had a parent evening,were the teacher was very positive,saying hes doing very well,although she can see hes gone from above average to average/just below average,she said he is disruptive and struggles threw each part of the day,(morning,lunch,afternoon!)
im guessing hes still trying to be class clown...
she told us that they have to get a one 2 one in for him when hes abit more hyper,and that is normaly around 2-4 times in a week,for an hr to a whole afternoon.
i asked the teacher if he could do with having his own 1-1 ta?
teacher said
1:dont go there.
2:if theres 1-1 available in the school then we can use them.
3:hes not that bad.

so what do you guys think?
if he does need 1-1, then how do i go about it?
what if the school says no?
ds is changing his school next year,he goes into middle school,
thank you xxx

yes i think thats probably th best way forward,ill start that call again in the morning.thank you x

OMG!!
result!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i know you said dont go to the school,but,i seen the ht and asked if i could have a word,
she took me down to the office,i told her about ds behaviour/aggression at home,and that i had been to the dr. yesterday,i should her 2 clips of video footage on my phone,and asked if she could confirm if that was the way ds behaves in school?
she said all last year,yes,and it was even worse than that!
this year is better,as his teacher is very calm with him,and does not rise to his demands and neither do the childern,plus hes getting some 1-1 support,(ds was placed in a different class this year because he isolated himself from his group last yr)
she said ds is struggling with yr 2 and middle school is going to be very hard for him,
she then said im not sure if he has adhd,she thinks he has aspects of it,but she was concerned that there was "something else there" i questioned her about what she taught mite be wrong?she said no,i wont say,i cant,i then asked do you think hes got aspergers?she said nooooooo,but i can see why you say that,i begged her to tell me,she said ODD,shes sure of it.
im not suprised tbh.

i then asked about how we could get him some help,she told me to go back to the dr,and ask for a referral for a second opinion,she said i will then see the pead again,and she will send the ed psych into the school,she said ds will be assessed and hopefully with everyones imput we can get ds some help.
i asked,you mean help as in,a statement?the ht teacher said yes! omg!!!
she said he doesnt need it here as we are giving it to him,but he will need support for the middle school!

so im going to ring the dr. in a bit and ask him to send me to the pead instead.
i hope this will do it,
cant believe she said all that this morn!

Thats great well done!!

oh leonie.....
i was called in today :(
he is no longer allowed to play in the play ground with other children,as hes hitting to many and slapping there faces!!
i asked teacher what he was slapping for?she said because they stood to close to him or didnt agree with him.
hes already hit me twice this eve,
we went to tesco to buy tea and he kept hittng me with his bag and calling me names because i told him he couldnt have pudding,
im sick of him!

the thing is, crazy, you can't rely on everyone/ anyone? providing magic help that's going to make it all go away.

you need to rread up on adhd and odd (they do overlap - as i said before, we're in our 6th year now of as/asd/ add/adhd/odd maybe stuff) and you need to be implementing as much as you can do deal with it yourself, whilst waiting and hoping and pushing for everyone else (anyone else?) to provide you with some support.

in the interim, what are school doing?
(just banning him from the playground is frankly ridiculous - if there's one thing that child with suspected adhd needs, it's time to run aorund and let off steam. i really hope they aren't just keeping him in at playtime, because that'll be a really good reason for his behaviour getting worse)
go back and discuss what behaviour support they are putting in place.

find out when the ed psych is assessing.

and call the paed.

being assessed for a statement doesn't mean he's going to get one (although the odds are considerably better if the school is on side) but you need to start gathering evidence now. all of the reports he's ever had from professionals. all of his ieps/ behaviour plans from school. diarising things like the playground ban. etc etc etc.

i don't mean to sound pessimistic, but this is going to take at least 6 months. and probably until he's at middle school to sort out.

there is loads of great stuff about odd on the web. and lots of advice. but you need to be reading it and learning more yourself.

madwoman ive got books coming out of my ears!!
i have rang the pead,the dr.parent partnership,head teacher,parent support,
and none of these people have got back to me or are telling me the next step to take.....
when i was in with the pead she said theres no aspergers,just adhd and its mild,
and listening to people on here im realising that its not that mild,
ive rang the pead and asked her to get the ed psych in,she said she will call me back this afternoon,so far nothing so it will be tomorrow now im sure,

you are years down the line with this so you really know what you are talking about,but werent you like me at the begining?not knowing were to turn?what to do,believing the professionals?
ive read soooo much and i could tick every book to him,but were do you stop?
i know he might not get 1-1 at all,but today,i was just happy that the school finally agreed with me,

i also have every letter concerning my son from everyone,ive got a food,sleep and behaviour diary,ieps ready that ive done on and off since june,i just need someone to see!!!
i understand it will take 6-9mnths to get an answer for statement :(

i didnt know what to say to the teacher when see said hes banned from the playground! i was abit shocked tbh,but at the same time i do not want him hitting,and i dont want any more complaints from parents!
the school assured me they wouldnt make it seem like punishment,
the school said they are going to target 1 behaviour at a time,and thats hitting for now,and ignore everything else,as he wont handle to much going on.

so right now im waiting for all those people to get back to me,
then hopefully i can get somewhere,
xxx

yeah i know,but ill get there in the end for sure :)
madwoman can i ask?you mentioned as/asd/adhd etc.have you had your dx?
6yrs is a long time.
hope you get sorted soon too,xx

if people stand to close,if they answer him wrong,if they go 1st in something,if he loses a game,if he doesnt want to do something that he has to do,stuff like that,
you typing???my spelling!!!!lol

sorry, was out and about.

no dx yet here for ds1. (but paed and school now agree adhd for sure) but he's having full psycho-ed assessment in december (so cognitive testing as well as stuff specifically for adhd and more spectrum type stuff). we have our parent background interview tomorrow with the psych, then she does three days of testing with ds1 spread throughout dec, then we see her for a review just before christmas for probable dx and suggestions of where to go next. then we are back at the paeds in the second week of jan to go over test results and dx and discuss way forward with her (inc meds etc if appropriate).

um, i have to say i've been fairly mellow over ds1 tbh. we've known he's different (as has school) but because he's reasonably bright no school has ever been particularly interested in doing anything about his quirks. (and he doesn't generally have any behaviour issues - although when he was suspended three days into the new school year it was interesting). but generally because he's clever they let him get on with his own thing - he's not bringing their sats results down. (the ht stood behind him for the y2 sats tests to ensure he stayed on task.. sorta.. and then they sent his work off for moderation) and although every teacher we've ever had has made comments, when we have attempted dx before, they have completed snap IV etc as if for a completely different child. one teacher who called me in to discuss to discuss his distractibility (and asked me if there were problems at home as he wasn't doing any work at all) then ticked the 'not at all' box for distractibility on the snap IV assessment. and then gave him the 'top student' prize at the end of the year.

dd2 has needed a lot more help, and so the focus really has been on her - she has cp and has always been in mainstream, so was statemented early etc.

we also move a lot (every couple of years) so we have to start at the beginning wherever we end up. we're just lucky this time, that at his new school, his teacher and paed have clicked straight away and are actually working together to get dx sorted. and whenever we've moved, dd2 needs immediate support to access school, whereas ds1 doesn't, really.

that said, ds1's issues have been a lot more noticeable over the last two years, and i was quite irritated by the last paed. i've just collected ds1's notes from that paed though, and i suspect strongly that somewhere along the line there was a breakdown in communication - as notes from well over a year ago between the paed and gp confirm adhd and prescribe two different types of medication.

anyway, now is the time. sometimes you have to wait for the stars to align however much pushing you do!! our stars are now aligned.

(when i say he doesn't have any behaviour issues, i mean at school. so it's not a priority for them. he just doesn't do any work.)

wow,so you have really been threw it! god im only at the begining really,
quite a stressful time for you,i hope it all goes well and you get the help your after.i assume you will get a dx of adhd plus whatever else that you think is going on?add?odd?etc?
was your gut feeling right with your dd2?as i have a gut feeling! but thats something i always question!
is there adhd in your family too?there is in my husbands!

ive just put a thread up on the sn board saying there is a programme starting next tuesday,its a two part and its called "my childs not perfect" its on itv 1 and its about behavioral issues like adhd etc,shuld be worth a watch!

dd2 was pretty obviously broken right from the start tbh. but we had the same run around with dx. she was just 'developmentally delayed' officially from birth, but by the time she was 6 mos i knew she had cp. she wasn't officially dx cp until nealry 2, but it was getting ridiculous. all of her therapists were treating her as though she had cp, but no-one was saying the words, so i forced the consultants hand really and asked for a dx. when i told the therapists she had been officially dx, they just said 'oh, i'm glad, that makes things easier' because they had known all along.

i think sometimes medical professionals like to play the long game, because there is the outside chance that the child will make developmental strides in whatever area and they might get away without formally dx. but there comes a point when you can't avoid it really.

it doesn't matter so much if a child is getting help anyway (dd2 had a full complement of therapists and dla etc etc, so wasn't in need of a dx), but with all the moving around we do, it was easier to be able to write 'cp' on forms for nursery etc, rather than just listing everything she needs. for kids who aren't being supported, then a dx can lead (but doesn't always) to better/ some support...