DC parents ignored my note – WWYD?

[LondonSuperTrooper]

My DC is friendly with a little boy (let?s call him X) in his reception class. At the open evening his teacher tells me that they play beautifully together & my DS is always coming home talking about X. X attends after school club everyday and to date I don?t know who his parents are.

Just before half term I put a note in his bag asking his parents to get in touch if they are interested in getting the two boys together for a play date over the holidays. They didn?t get in touch and haven?t even acknowledged my note. I think that is extremely rude and I am annoyed about it.

As a treat, I have bought theatre tickets for my DS and some of his friends. I asked him who he wanted to invite from school and straight away he mentioned X. Also, DS keeps asking me to invite this X over for tea (we haven?t started play dates yet).

My DS is a late summer born & is an only child. I?d love him to have friends over for tea & increase his social skills as he?s really shy.

But, what should I do? I?d loathe writing another note and having it ignored again. Or should I write another note regardless? After all, my feeling aside, it seems my DS really enjoys playing with X.

Looking forward to all your thoughts!

OP, I ocassionaly see children who talk to my son during the school run or even at the shops. He is very social but he gets nervous when I am present. I get so happy and always try to encourage him to speak to them! When he doesn't respond to them I always ask "come on, why didn't you say anything?". I haven't come across any strange parents luckily!

These people might want to spend their time with their child after school but aren't they curious to know whom he spends the time and enjoys his time with at school? I am always excited to discover that there are children who mutually enjoy school time with my son. We are his family but sure, we want to make sure there are other nice people at school for him and seeing them reassures us.

Maybe as other posters said they are from another community and/or don't speak much english so they would be embarassed to meet you even if they shouldn't have.

Was just thinking that too cat64!

Presumably, if CM is employed FT, both parents may well be working FT. In which case, they may not want play dates because they can't reciprocate. Or, if they work all day every day, their time at home in the evening with their DC will be more precious than usual. I know that on my working days (when my poor, neglected children have been looked after by their childminder ) I want them to myself!

I feel most parents who want to be "contactable" put their contact details on the contact list sheet so others can text/phone/email.
If there are no details then I would be reluctant to contact them again. They genuinley may be very busy, want weekends to themselves, there may be family problems...you just don't know. Encourage your child to have other friends and invite those around instead.
As others suggested it is best to wait until you meet them sometime. Frindships change quickly at that age..encourage your child to move around between groups.

Lots of children are brought to school and collected by childminders. Doesn't mean their parents don't love them!

Tbh I would be less keen on a meet up with the parent. It's not really my thing. I get quite shy even as an adult so a prolonged meet up with a stranger isnt what I would fancy.

But I would have accepted a playmate for my child. I think once They get to school the meets without parents is more common generally. But I guess I have always at least known the parent from the school gates. I would have no issue inviting a child round to mine without knowing. I'd prefer to know beforehand whe my child was heading, but that it a personal choice.

:( sorry for your little boy. And his friend too, he's probably just as desperate to see your DS out of school.

We don't have contact sheets, am impressed by the idea.
I sympathise, OP, DS (y3) has called a certain boy his best mate about a year; they sit together at lunch, they were partnered for most things in y2, they play together a lot (at breaktimes). They share many interests; they stand together in the line to chat & chat every morning (other boy's mother stands 2 feet away from them all this time). DS talks about him loads.

The mum is a cold fish who snubs all overtures, has evidently taken a strong dislike to DS & maybe to me, too (who knows, I barely have spoken to the woman, she makes it clear over her dead body would her son be allowed to come for a playdate (sigh). It is SO hard to explain to DS why we can't keep asking X to come around.

Why does a CM bringing the other little boy to school, upset you

Op didn't just mean CM bringing child to school, did she? OP suggests they didn't even come to parents' evening; don't you think that most parents, no matter how full time, would have met their reception child's teacher at least once by now? Does suggest a lack of interest. :(

I don't think the OP is upset that a childminder takes the boy to school - surely it's more about the fact that the teacher has NEVER met his parents! This seems weird to me, even if they are both working FT.

Thanks lljkk & Gorgeous for understanding.

I am upset that we are into almost December and the reception teacher hasn't yet met the boy's parents

Just wanted to add that I am encouraging my little boy to make other friends etc and we have had play dates with other children from his recepetion class. Problem is that he keeps asking when we can X round for tea and I keep on explaining why we can't!

Look, it's their call, and that's it.....regarding the CM picking up and dropping off yabu to be upset.....it's nowt to do with you. If they both work then that's what will happen.

Tell your son that you have asked x's parents, but they have not got back to you, so there's nothing more you can do. What's wrong with telling the truth?

pictish,

I didn't wish to resurrect this thread. I only posted an update as people were kind enough to share their thoughts!

I've given up trying to invite this boy for a play date and have moved on from this issue.

Oh I see. Ok.

For working parents who rely heavily on childcare it is so difficult to agree to children going somewhere after school as the other parents are effectively being your childcare whether they know it or not, eg sometimes depending on what shift we are working the children can be at the childminders until 7pm, I wouldn't be able to pick them up from a play date earlier than that and that isn't always acceptable, especially to people you don't know well.

I disagree with notes in book bag getting lost - the TA ensures they are put in every day in reception (the children don't do them).

That doesn't happen in all schools though CocktailQueen.

I work in Y1 and I am a TA. I don't put stuff in the children's book bags.

CocktailQueen I agree with you. The TA in my son's class puts in all letters just before the children are picked up in the afternoon.

My son had a birthday party recently. He particularly wanted one boy to come. I left an invite in this boy's tray (they are at nursery together). No reply. Two weeks later (a week before the party) I left a note which I tied to his coat peg (in case the invite had gone into nursery tray black hole) with another invite and a note saying that my son would love for this boy to come to his party. Still nothing.

It doesn't take much time or effort to text to say you can't make an event. It's called manners.

Thanks for the update!

I too feel sorry for that little boy now!
I hope your son finds somebody else to invite for tea at yours!

Lets all have a love in about the poor child who has busy working parents!