Same children always picked - why?

[carocaro]

Out of a year of just under 60 the same children are always picked to do speeches in assembly, be on the school council, take the lead in plays, be on the school teams. No one else ever seems to get a go at anything! I have asked why only to be told 'children have to learn to accept disappointment'.

Why is this the case?

weirdly, mine, who go to drama, have been in plays, tv, etc NEVER get any part bigger than third sheep on the left. I think their school picks those who don't do anything, which is of course very frustrating for me! And the dcs!

god, then we would both be the hated 'pushy' parebts - praps we could stand for governors too, and get the full avoidance treatment in the playground....

'parents'

(Trip her up as she makes her next stage debut)

mint slinks off...

Can we play guess the name?

Araminta?
Bathsheba?
Clementine - OBVIOUSLY known as Clemmy?

I nearly started a very similar titled thread. At our school there apparently is an invitation only ict club which the same children have been going to for two years. Same children chosen to go to a literacy workshop at local theatre. I am starting to feel really pissed off, that my dd doesn't ever get the opportunity to be "stretched" in this way.

it's a tricky one, but having spent 5 years at ds1's school watching the same 4 or 5 kids get up and recite their poem at harvest festival, having the lead role in every play, having their work displayed at open days, winning every prize for effort and achievement at every prize giving, i did find myself getting a leetle pissed off that the school couldn't find any way to recognise the efforts of all the other kids.

but of course they want the 'best' kids on show at every event parents were at in order to show what a good school they are.... it wouldn't do to have ds1's weird dyslexic poems being read out...

The opposite happened for DD2 at primary. All the skinny Y6 girls were made to dress as 'Funny friars' complete with cushions under their costumes to make them fat whilst the other girls were dressed as princesses and ladies (I think it was Robin Hood).

It did look like a blatant attempt to be politically correct and not give the 'pretty' roles to the obvious candidates. I'm not saying the roles should have been reversed - far from it - but if they'd even mixed it up a bit, or given the fat friar roles to the boys who were desperate for them and let the girls take on other roles which were not quite as humiliating.

She also found it hard to undertand why she never got house points (the teachers used them to motivate children who were struggling and basically forgot about the kids who were just working normally). Again, no question that struggling children should get good attention but ordinary, no particular issues, day to day hard working kids need motivating too and that does get forgotten.

and at secondary school 30 years ago, i remember we had a running joke at prize giving by about the 3rd year in, where we would say, "and the elsie smith prize for being elsie smith, goes, again, this year, to.... ELSIE SMITH" as we got so wound up by the same girl getting a prize every year for no apparent reason

Oh, and the same school put the same not athletic at all children in key positions for inter school sports. Bowler - when they couldn't throw, fielder when they couldn't catch a ball.
Meanwhile the sporty kids waited for their turn which came much less frequently and all the children wondered why their school never won anything.

I'm beginning to be more appreciative of our school's fairness in giving others a go. For example, when ds was in year 1 the main part in the nativity was taken by a girl in year 2. Who was really, really good. So when I had the opportunity to see the show by the year 3 and 4 classes the following year, when this girl had moved up to year 3, I expected to see her in a big part. But she wasn't. In fact she was in quite a small part.

Last year my son had a big part in the nativity when he was year 2 so I expect he'll have much smaller parts in the the next few years. :)

The school also has achievement assemblies each week where at least one child from each class is chosen for something. My son has so far been chosen three times, all for something reading/numeracy/knowledge related, as were a few of the others. However, there were children who were chosen for things like 'being willing to try something that they were unsure of', 'being polite to other people whilst on a school trip', 'being helpful to others' and other non-academic reasons, so plenty of chance for all of the children to be chosen at some point. :)

Bluebell99 -

Some kids are extremely pushy and think the world of themselves. For any play they are straight away shouting out that they want the role, jumping up etc. Other kids can find this intimidating or simply off-putting. It is up to the school to address this, but I agree with you, many schools don't seem to want to address this.

Oh, forgot to say, sometimes it is also laziness on the teacher's part. It is much easier to practise if you have a bunch of overconfident children then if you have a lead who is shy and needs lots of coaching and encouragement (but then again you would hope that that is what school is about ...)

Iamnotminterested - it really grates because my dd is very bright but there are about four other children who are very self confident and are seen to be the brightest. My dd is very shy and I think she gets overlooked. She isn't really bothered but it is starting to really bug me!

Bluebell99 - wait 'til you get to year 6. You'll be baying for blood by then.

Bluebell99 re; the ICT/theatre business, have you approached the Head or Chair of Governors? What do the parents of these chosen elite think? What about the parents of the proletariat?

Would really get on my tits too.

A lad in our primary / middle school always won all sports prizes and was always captain, mentioned in assembly for sporting stuff, everyone would roll their eyes at times, but we could all tell he was exceptional, so understood really. He became a premiership footballer!