Here we go again but now we are in yr 3.

[MollieO]

So fourth year of school for ds. At the start of each academic year his behaviour is utterly dreadful. Badly behaved in school, refusing to do schoolwork and refusing to do homework. Other years it has upset me a lot but now I am just saddened by it. Ds is a child who is incredibly independent and usually very well mannered although he does have a lot to say and an opinion on everything.

Instead of making a good first impression with his new teacher he blots his copybook from the off and it takes until about Easter for that first impression to be forgotten. I'm at a loss to know what to do. Today's bad behaviour was because he wasn't allowed to choose an alternative lunch to the main meal (usually they can have pasta if they dont like the main meal but I don't k ow why that wasn't allowed today). He insisted he was allowed to choose pasta and told the teacher that she couldnt tell him what to do when she told him he couldn't choose lunch. Not a good start on what is now less than a week I to the new term.

I'd welcome any tips on what I can do to improve things.

If he's year 3 the school should know him well and there will have been a handover from his previous teacher too, so new teacher should know he's not always like that. Why not make an appointment for a meeting with the new teacher and just talk it through?

Speak to the teacher as soon as possible. Let her know you are supportive and aware of his behaviour. If both you and the teacher are on the same wavelength it will reduce the opportunity for him to get away with this attitude. It seems to me he is just testing the boundaries with his new teacher, if she is firm he will soon give up hopefully.
It is a concern if a child who is only in Year 4 speaks to a teacher as you described..hopefully he was reprimanded.
You are right to be concerned, talk to teacher.

Rather relieved to discover Ds not the only one upset at lunch. Others were refused their choice too but whereas they got upset and complied Ds argued his case. He's very eloquent and probably too much so for his age so what maybe acceptable from an older child can come across as rude in a 7 yr old. I will talk to his teacher. I'd assume there would have been a handover from yr 2 but every teacher he's had have said how different he is.

I feel sad that Ds seems to start every year making a bad impression. Outside school he is a very polite and caring little boy although he can also be

stubborn and determined. His nursery teacher always said those were good character traits to have as they will help him succeed when he is older but they are hard to manage as a child.

Go and talk to the teacher. A good teacher should be able to deal with this with no problem. Don't go ready to defend him, but to discuss how you are both gong to work with his behaviour. It should help just knowing his parents are on board.
Do also try to explain about politeness in the work place, how you talk to your boss etc. Also that sometimes we do have to put up with things we don't like. If he is that eloquent he should understand quite complex arguments.

That's a really good idea to compare it to my work. You are right that he needs to understand that he needs to be polite even when he'd rather not be. I think he gets cross and loses focus.