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Original poster

We have fucked up big time

89 replies

TheOriginalFAB · 20/08/2011 08:50

DS1 is 10 and taking the 11+ next month. He has just done a paper and got 20/50 and it was basic maths. He is in the middle group at school. He is bright but doesn't enjoy school, he is an inventor really. WTF do we do now as at this rate he won't pass the 11+ but tbh my main worry is what kind of school has a child at 10 who can't get basic maths right? He has flashes of brilliance and then doesn't get basic maths right. We have 2 other children at the school, 1 extremely bright and 1 average, we don't want to let them down as well.

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Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 21/08/2011 13:35

Solo, you have explained yourself very well. We aren't poor but we haven't money for designer things and fancy phones so hopefully he won't be at a school where the kids prize those against kindness and loyality .

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exoticfruits · 21/08/2011 15:01

There was an excellent article in last week's Sunday Times by an ex private school headmaster. He said that there was no such thing as as school without bullying. I would be very cautious of any school that made that claim-they probably just deny it is bullying. It is how they deal with bullying, and how quickly, that is important.

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 21/08/2011 15:37

They don't deal with it quickly or effectively. Yet when my 5 year ols pushed someone over I was threatened by the parent and called into school.

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exoticfruits · 21/08/2011 16:31

I would go in and ask for a copy of their bulling policy-they have to have one. You could email and ask them to email it. Hold them to whatever it says.

exoticfruits · 21/08/2011 16:31

sorry-bullying.

Avinalarf · 21/08/2011 16:35

Sorry have only skim read thread, but just wanted to say - dont fall into the trap of thinking grammar school means no bullying. Many selective schools foster an extremely competitive attitude in their pupils. there may be other options for your boy.

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 21/08/2011 17:55

We have the antibullying policy ad they don't follow it.

I am relaxed now about ds1 not passing as I realise it is not the end of the world and he is more a practical than academic child. He could have done better if we had done more with him, but we haven't so we will just help as much as we can now.

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sarahfreck · 22/08/2011 13:30

FAB - As a tutor I would say, while it may be true that he may not pass the 11+, please don't underestimate the effect of "holiday brain". I find this happens with some students to a very dramatic degree. They seem to totally switch off in holidays (more switch off the longer the holiday) and it takes them a week or two to warm-up again once they start back at school. You would honestly think they had never learned anything in 5 years at school! It happens more in boys than girls in my experience.

Try doing a "brain warm-up" before he tackles the next test or has his next tutor session. This could be 10 minutes of mental arithmetic or times tables or whatever.

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 22/08/2011 13:34

Good lidea, thank you. He has gone out with a family friend today so will be having a lovely time and be rested for his nect lot of work.

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grumpypants · 22/08/2011 13:44

Honestly - dd went to grammar school (kent) and I am still in two minds about whether it was a good idea! It really should be for those who are academically able and into learning. DD really resents the huge amounts of homework, and the relentless expectation to be super good across the board.

I am really anti the grammar system and would prefer a proper comprehensive system.

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 22/08/2011 13:49

DD is only just 8 but loves learning and school. She likes to read non fiction books, usually as 5 or 6 books on the go and reads the theasaurus for fun. She will go to grammar and have no problems. I think ds1 would be better off at a comprehensive so I have read all the posts on this thread and thought about things.

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grumpypants · 22/08/2011 13:52

see, i sort of wish that i'd sent dd to a comp, but the irritating thing about grammar system is the perception - grammar kids are bright, secondary kids aren't - and i think that sways a lot of people into tutoring from Y3 round here.

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 22/08/2011 14:05

I agree. Luckily I don't care what the other mums think of me or my kids.

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maree1 · 22/08/2011 17:08

Practise, practise, practise. Get practice papers. Sit alongside DS if it helps as he works through the questions. Familiarity with the styles of questions will help enormously. You will be surprised with the improvement. Don't give up. His confidence and ability will build.

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