Co-sleeping and starting school presented as bad by school

[camaleon]

Our school has recommended parents to stop co-sleeping with kids who are starting reception next September in order to help them with their independence and make it easier for them to start school.

Honestly I have not a view on co-sleeping for the general public. I know parents who do it and others who do not. I believe nobody should tell me how to sleep in general. I would have never thought it was linked to a smooth transition into their reception year and I can easily imagine children who co-sleep with brothers or sisters or grandparents due to lack of space in the house or whatever reason.

Is this a normal recommendation?

no, it isn't normal and IMHO it's way overboard.
who the fuck are they to tell people how to sleep with their child???? FFS

i know quite a few people (as a member of a far crunchier forum than this lol) who co-sleep until their child is ready to stop. many are also still breastfed

without exception they have started school just like every other child, with no problem being independent at all

god. things like this make me so bloody angry.

I wouldn't have thought schools need to have an opinion on where people sleep.

I do, however, know some people whose dc had got into the habit of staying up until adult bedtime, which is fine when they are little (though it wouldn't be to everybody's taste) but caused problems once the dc started school and needed to get up reasonably early in the morning.

So I think it's fair enough for the school to point out the importance of making sure children get enough sleep, and that bedtimes may need to be adjusted to fit with the school schedule. But it's none of their business who sleeps where, as long as the dc are getting enough sleep overall.

We never co-slept until after DS started school. He would wander in at 2am wanting a cuddle. Many confessions of musical beds from parents in the playground including at least two I knew were governors.

No mention of it in the preparing for school recommendations in my DS's literature. Being toilet trained, able to wash hands, dress self and blow own nose are all listed but nothing to do with sleeping. It does sound a bit busy bodyish.

I think the school should butt out on this one.

Why on earth would a school even mention sleeping arrangements?

yes i agree it's fine to mention about making sure your child is getting enough sleep.

not ok to tell people where they can sleep though

How bizarre

Certainly wasn't part of our new parents' evening!

Failure to comply may result in a visit from the newly appointed Sleeping Arrangements Inspector!!

The recommendation is included in a leaflet that we should read to our children so they know they should sleep in their own bed (along with the obvious wipe your bottom, eat by yourself, etc.)

Thank you for clarifying this is not a common occurrence.

:) at ElbowFan comment

So cat64 you think the school meant to say the child has to sleep in a bed, or the same bed every night? Still seems an odd thing to meddle in.

"Get enough sleep" is fair enough.

We're talking about 4 year old children here. They should have regular, sensible bedtimes and regular, sensible beds- without adults in them.

cat64, the message was quite clear and was explained to us verbally as a means to help detachment from parents and to teach them 'to take risks'

Way over the mark, and if our Reception teacher said such a thing at new parents I would be very cross - or if such a thing had been said to me as a new parent last year. None of their effing business!

They should have regular, sensible bedtimes and regular, sensible beds- without adults in them.

The first part is something schools always recommend, for obvious reasons. The second is just your opinion, horsemadmom.

Must admit I'd never heard of 4 year olds still sleeping in their parents' beds.

the odd time ds did when he was ill and little was murder, all diagonal lying and elbows in eyes.

It's more a case of both parents who are working full time and are knackered just lifting the duvet up and saying 'get in' - well, it is in our house, anyway.

The only advice I would say the school is qualified to dish out about sleeping would be a recommended bedtime. I'm sure the teachers in term one pay the price for late nights with exhausted children and challenging behaviour.

How strange. Just a normal state primary?

We co-sleep with ds1. He is 4.5.

Weird. Hardly their business and very inappropriate to mention it at all IMO. And I'm a reluctant co-sleeper with a 2yo

But the point isn't whether many people share the opinion or not, it's whether someone's opinion has a bearing on what new parents at a school should be told.

Nothing to do with the school what so ever. I'd raise it with the governors. Perfectly appropriate to say children need enough sleep. Nothing to do with school whether children sleep in bed alone, with another sibling, with one/two parents, or bed hop. In my experience it's perfectly normal for small children to come into their parents' bed in the middle of the night and stay there. I certainly did forty years ago and it had no effect on my schooling!