Co-sleeping and starting school presented as bad by school

[camaleon]

Our school has recommended parents to stop co-sleeping with kids who are starting reception next September in order to help them with their independence and make it easier for them to start school.

Honestly I have not a view on co-sleeping for the general public. I know parents who do it and others who do not. I believe nobody should tell me how to sleep in general. I would have never thought it was linked to a smooth transition into their reception year and I can easily imagine children who co-sleep with brothers or sisters or grandparents due to lack of space in the house or whatever reason.

Is this a normal recommendation?

Far more important that the kids can dress themselves, are fully toilet trained and can eat unassisted, I would ahve thought. I would never in a million years co-sleep with any child or baby but I still don't think it is a school's business.

If anything I would have thought a co-sleeping child would be more independent because of the extra security at home. But you can't compare these things between children because each child is so different anyway.

Seems bizarre and none of the schools business.

If this is because a teacher has made a connection from previous children that have passed through her hands then I suggest that he/she probably wasn't in possession of all the facts, and is probably leaping to conclusions.

Not sure I would want that person teaching my child.

Honestly, it's a load of bollocks.

DS has almost finished reception. He has done very well, had the parents' evening and report to prove it. His teacher neither knows, nor cares that he sleeps in our bed. He hasn't arrived tired, he hasn't had broken nights and neither have we.

hmm maybe it was a way of not pointedly singling any group out culturally? Very odd though I agree.

Its about children sharing adult bedtimes isnt it - before they start school this is fine but it can be a problem once they start school - parents surely realise this on their own though without lecturing?

Unless they are proposing taking the reception children on a residential I can't see it's any of their business.

So long as children are getting enough sleep then I don't think it matters what bed they sleep in. It seems such an odd thing for them to be even discussing.

The big tip for our school was make sure the boys know what a urinal is.

You would be surprised ( regarding the comment about bedtimes) We have several Reception/yr 1 children who are not in bed until 10-11 at night "because he goes to bed when we do". Only last week we had to tell a parent that this MIGHT be the reason why their child didn't really want to get up in the morning!

Answering pointydog question, yes, this is a 'normal' local primary school.

None of the school's business whether parents co-sleep or not. When I started primary school I still coslept with my mum and had no trouble settling in to school. It makes no difference to the school where children sleep as long as they are getting enough sleep on school nights.

I agree that its none of schools business about where child sleeps, but forgive me, why would you co sleep? I have a child who is 7and a half and slept in her own room since 11 weeks old. Am I missing something here? My husband blows the covers off the bed on a nightly basis with his snoring, there is no way that DD would come any where near our bed EVER!

I have a friend who was told this before her dd started school several years ago. She was quite upset because they did co-sleep and it was considered entirely normal in her culture. I thought at the time that the school had no business to be poking its nose into such matters.

We also co-slept with my dd when she started school - still do sometimes. It's normal in my DH's culture and it feels perfectly natural. My dd was never the one crying at the school gate! And anyone who suggests that children who co-sleep are likely to find it harder to separate from their parents would seem to lack a fundamental understanding of attachment theory.

I co sleep shellye cos dd has seizures and stops breathing and needs resucitation. Id love not too.

Shellye - forgive me, but why would you want to put an eleven week old baby all alone in its own room?

I guess we all find it difficult to comprehend other people's parenting philosophies but at the end of the day, most of us are just following our instincts and doing what we think is right. I accept that my choices wouldn't work for everyone, but it certainly doesn't make them wrong or invalid.

I can see why schools would want to encourage parents to make sure their children get enough sleep, but surely it's not their business where that sleep takes place? . That whole 'fostering independence' seems like a complete red herring too..

I co-slept with mine as they needed it until (about 2yrs ish). DS started school last year and strode into the classroom with barely a backward glance.

Shellye, as I said upthread I co-sleep with my 4.5 year old and I also have my (very nearly) 2 year old in my room too. I just can't bear to put him in his own room yet.

I have never heard of co sleeping thats all. Sympathise with Riveninside as there seems a medical need to do so. Moved her at 11 weeks because of snoring husband, post natal depression and then she slept through the night and has done ever since. Would not consider co sleeping in any shape or form. She has never got up in the middle of the night ever, which I guess is unusual.

Gosh, I am really surprised.

I still co-sleep with my 4 yr old. And I've been planning to stop soon as want him to sleep as best as he can for school (we now have a new baby in the bed too).

But this is my business and I wouldn't want the school telling me what to do about it.

Dd is 7. I am sick of broken nights. I have bags you coukd get a rhino in under my eyes!

Yeah it is unusual. Said 4.5 year old's worst night in his own bed was 24 wakings before midnight (ie every 15 minutes). Riven is a seperate case as her DD has many, many extra needs and keeps Riven awake with farting and lauging as well as the serious stuff .

Seriously, Shellye, never judge until you have walked a mile in people's shoes.

Having shared a room with her on nights away and seen how active and lively she is in her sleep I doubt I would ever get any sleep! Am just intrigued thats all as not something I have come across or have heard any of my friends do.Most can't wait to put them to bed and then have some quality time with hubby or a good book! Happy to see that different things work for different people.

We have a truckle bed pretty much permanently up in our room for when DD wanders in (most nights). She is 5.5

I feel for you Riveninside, my aunt also was shattered most of the time as she co slept with my cousin who had Downs.

No one is judging. I have seriously never heard of this PLB.

We gave up and bought a king size bed. What can you do with a poor sleeper and two parents who work full time? Can count on the fingers of one hand how many nights 5 year old ds has slept through.

I guess I am seriously lucky to have a child who goes to bed and stays there.

You are.

Oh and BTW, you can still have sex and read (although not simultaneously) when you co-sleep you know.