Girls wearing shorts under school dresses

[eandemum]

When DD (5) started wearing her summer school uniform (the usual- checked summer dress) I got her shorts to wear. Not Bobby Charlton style really baggy ones, more like black cycling shorts in T-shirt material - we call them "modesty shorts"!!

Anyway, DD comes home on Thursday with a note re: this (all got this note not just her) - saying such shorts were not part of the uniform and shouldn't be worn (leggings were ok in certain cases).

She doesn't wear them for religious reasons - just 'preserving her dignity' - we have practised sitting in a ladylike fashion but I know this goes out the window once she is in school.

I wrote back suggesting a compromise; white shorts that don't come below the hemline (her black shorts would be at the hemline) so can't be seen.

What do you think?

[mrz]

I recall one of my reception girls sitting down in a most unladylike manner (legs wide apart) in the front row in assembly at which point I realised she wasn't wearing any pants

[mrz]

I don't think modesty shorts would have helped as it turned out she'd taken her pants off to go to the toilet and left them there.

[mrz]

But we aren't talking high school we are talking very young children ashamed to show their knickers.

[mrz]

It's stealing a child's innocence!

[SGertie]

I've often wondered what the answer would be to girls flashing their knickers whilst playing at school. I don't think it looks nice and wouldn't want anybody walking past the playground to see dd's knickers, although I'm not fussed about the boys in her class seeing them.
She starts school next year and will be getting White cotton shorts to wear under her summer dress.
I really don't see why a school should make a fuss unless they are longer than the skirt and I really don't understand why so many of you are aghast at the idea.

[space2010]

AbigalS that comment is so funny "they look quite pretty as they are edged with lace" ??????

[duchesse]

Mini- try Petit Bateau! Only well-fitting underwear I found for my skinny daughters. Available in most French supermarkets (prices in the UK can be a bit ) so next time you're on holiday, or if you know someone going. Plus they come in very nice patterns and colours and last for ever. Or I think you might be able to get a few patterns in the la Redoute catalogue.

[slug]

If the boys are starting to make rude comments about the girls knickers, Iwould be having stern words with the school about teaching the boys appropriate behaviour. Why is the school allowing what is essentially sexual harassment to embed so early?

[silverfrog]

I know they are the bane of many a prent's life BUT - I have found the Disney store pants ot be well fitting and hard-wearing.

BUT they do also add to the need to be nicker-flashing in the first place - dd2 is forever comparing hr Minnie Mouse pants with her friend's Hello Kitty, or similar! but then, they are 4. so what?

[ImeldaM]

Well, when I was in primary school, I always wore shorts under my skirt so I could play 'like the boys' on the climbing frame, in the playground without the 'I can see your pants' comment. I think it makes boys & girls more equal, why should one be have to wear something that shows their underwear & the other not? Boys can do what they like physically & their underwear is just that, underwear.

If it is coming from the girls & they will feel more comfortable wearing shorts then don't see why its a problem

[mrz]

Then just wear shorts ! why under a dress ? and why call them modesty shorts?

[Selks]

Nothing wrong with wearing shorts under a dress if that is what the CHILD wants but its all this 'modesty' and 'preserving dignity' and 'teaching how to site modestly' that is totally wrong! Shorts are fine but let girl children remain unselfconscious and unashamed for heaven's sake.

[HugoFirst]

we used to do this in Fife in 1976
so the boys couldnt see our pants

[ImeldaM]

When I was at school we had to wear skirts & probably not the case now but, if all the other girls are wearing the dresses then they all want to be the same, not all girls want to climb/do cartwheels, not all girls are bothered by the comments. Some are, and should be free to do so without showing their underwear.

[silverfrog]

Hugo - at 5 you were bothered about the boys seeing your pants? why?

I can rememebr the first time I was otld "the boys can see your pants" - I must have been about 8, I suppose, and it bemused me then, as it does now - so what? (I spent half my life in a leotard at that point - ballet dancer - where's the difference, in my opinion, both then and now)

the same friends who were sniggering and bothered were not bothered during swimming lessons - why not?

it is ridiculuos to be talking ot a 5 year old about modesty shorts.

said 5 year old is already covering her bottom. tha tis all that is needed.

yes, lessons along the way about sitting nicely, not overtly flashing your pants (as they get a bit older) etc - but a 5 year old wrggling on the carpet and being told she neds ot "preserve her dignity" - that's bonkers.

I tell my dds not to flash their pants, occasionally - if they are walking thorugh the shoping centre, and have hitched up their dress ("but it's hot, mummy, my tummy needs cooling down" ) - but it's more along the lines of "the other shoppers don't want ot see your pants" than "put your bits away and have some dignity"

[HugoFirst]

because silver the boys would say " hugos got pink pants on " over and over as i tried and FAILED to do a cart wheel.

was more like 8

[ZZZenAgain]

They should be able to wear shorts and not have to wear a skirt/dress at all IMO.

[silverfrog]

I can see, by 8+ that it would start to be an issue (agree with other posters though - boys shoudl be picked up on for htis type of thing)

but at 5? madness.

most 4/5 year olds are desperate to flash their pants - new pictures, new style etc.

[piellabakewell]

My DD is in yr 6 and is past the summer dresses stage but always wears black cycling shorts under her school skirts (which are black or grey). It is common amongst girls in her junior school.

As an infant teacher, I have seen lots of children in their underwear, and my muslim girls always wear shorts or leggings under a skirt or dress. However, I do not like to see rows of cross-legged, knicker-flashing girls seated on the carpet as I don't think it's appropriate that I should be able to see their crotches when all they are doing is sitting down. Changing for PE is different.

[skybluepearl]

loads of the kids wear leggings or shorts on their own or under skirts instead of tights. i think its also part fashion and part the kids becoming more aware of thier bodies.

[LIZS]

this is mad. Find pants that don't gape, there is plenty of choice out there. I have a particularly skinny dd and this really isn't issue, even for her. She still wears age 6 ish ! She has noticed some of the older girls (she's yr5) wearing short style knickers though - I assume similar to these - but they'd be way to wide on the leg for her. The thought of leggings or cycling shorts in hot weather is horrid.

[lateforpickup]

I can completely see why you would put your daughter in shorts - buying decent/modest school knickers for girls is a nightmare - boxer styles gape around the legs when they sit cross legged on the floor and even the brief style pants are almost always too big around the legs and gape, added to which the material is nearly always very thin (yes next and M&S, I am talking about you). Gap used to do great pants for under 5s (thick cotton, sturdy around the legs) but even their pants for 5+ are thin and skimpy.

[manicinsomniac]

I work in a prep school where the girls have to wear the gingham summer dresses up to age 13.

Many choose to wear their sports cycling shorts under their dresses from about year 5. As long as they're blue and not lycra nobody cares, they can do whatever makes them comfortable.

My oldest is only year 3 and I've never seen her or any of her year group wanting to wear shorts.