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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

my dd didnt get into any of preffered schools and was offered place in very crapy school,please help,what to do?

154 replies

helenbicari · 06/04/2011 22:42

Hi, I just received letter from school addmission and my dd not only didnt get into first choice school, she didnt get into any preffered schools and was offered placel in the worst school in our borough,Im soo upset, crying all day as i made all the effort,even moved closer to the school and missed the place by 0.018 mil. the school she got place offered is over a mile from my house and i have a sick husband, who has a back problem, one year old baby and cant drive,so i really dont know how would i manage to take her there every day,cos my husband cant help either with walking her there or looking after the baby. im going to appeal for the school, but can anyone give me some tips, how to build a strong case, cos i dont know if what i just has described will be enough. also im thinking to contact MP and if nothing helps, im gonna home school her until she gets place in a good school. do you think thats a good idea? i just dont want her to go to that school, the ofsted is 3 and i just really hate that school

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

UnquietDad · 08/04/2011 14:14

Have been here and done this, sadly.

We appealed - failed first time, succeeded the second. I think a lot depends on who's on the panel...

Remember in the appeal to big up the school you want and your child's reasons for needing to go there - don't do down the other school.

The LEA rep will be there simply to apply the rules. The head and possibly a governor will be there to represent the school. If the appeal is anything like ours, well, the LEA rep will sound totally bored throughout and look as if they'd rather be somewhere else.

UnquietDad · 08/04/2011 14:16

Oh, and something about waiting lists. If you are put on one, and still haven't got in by the end of the year, you may need to re-apply to go on it as some authorities wipe them clean between Reception and Y1. Having children on a waiting list "creates an expectation", I was told by our LEA.

Yes, quite , we can't go having expectations, can we...?

Lonnie · 08/04/2011 14:57

Op you havve been given a lot of good advice on how to go forward. I wanted to comment on the sibling intake 27 out of 60 is not even 50% so I think that it sounds like the school has quite a sensible sibling criteria (I would even suggest it is likely siblings in catchment) the year my dd3 went to reception the school she is in had 14 siblings (for a 15 intake) The siblings intake imo is fair and sensible I have currently got 3 children in 1 primary school there are 2 other primary schools in our area but there is no way i could have all 3 at 3 different school within the 10 mins that each school starts. Imagine how distrupting to the school day it would be for every school to always have children arriving late.

I understand that you do not like the school you were allocatedand sometimes we have reasons for feeling this way. However I would really not use words like crap about a school even if you have been inside it and felt strongly (I understood from your earlier posts you had been on the Childrens centre that is next door to it?) A school wih satisfactory is just that satisfactory and I am sure many will back me up with saying that many outstanding schools are not so outstanding when it comes to pastorial care. (something for me with a severely dyslexic very bright dd is of HUGE importance way more than their outstanding in other things)

You are having a very emotional reaction and that is understandable but it is important you understand that you are not the only parent whom will have moved closer to get their preferred school and nor are you the only one with just 1 parent to take the kids to school (my oldest is in year 8 I can count on 1 hand the amount of times my dh has taken the children to school) if you are doing an appeal you need to be sensible about what you are appealing about and how. and your emotions really needs to be put firmly away. For now I would concentrate on the waiting list if you are that close then I think you will be on the 1st waiting list spot and hence will likely have got the place by the end of the school year. If not you have already said home schooling of private school. I would look into the private schools in the area if that is a possible option for you.

Good luck

Original poster

helenbicari · 08/04/2011 15:26

Lonnie I absolutely understand why siblings get the priority, cos when my baby is old enough to go to school I want her to go to the same one as dd1. Its just I made such an effort to get dd to this school and still didn't succeed. And when I used the word crap, I didn't mean to offend anyone, English is not my first language and I didn't know it has such a strong meaning,what I meant is the school isn't as good as my preferred one and I just disliked the school so much, I can't help it. I just want the best education for my daughter as possible and lets face it, when we are looking for a school for our child we want the best one

OP posts:

seeker · 08/04/2011 17:32

What do you dislike about the school?

GypsyMoth · 08/04/2011 19:18

3 tier system....lower,middle and upper schools rather than primary then secondary.

this is what we had in harrow

Original poster

helenbicari · 08/04/2011 19:55

I don't really wanna discuss what I don't like about the school

OP posts:

seeker · 08/04/2011 19:56

Now, i wonder why that is!

GypsyMoth · 08/04/2011 19:58

why not?? if you dislike something then its no biggie to say so here is it

MigratingCoconuts · 08/04/2011 20:02

I don't think she has to say what she doesn't like!! that's a privacy issue.

I don't think Helenbicarbi's reaction has been the most measured but her thread is about her getting DD into the school of her choice and not about slagging off the school she was allocated....

seeker · 08/04/2011 20:06

She ahs said the school is crappy, and the worst in the borough. But won;t say why she thinks that. It may be that her dd actually ends up at that school, and it;s important that she thinks about why she doesn;t like it, and what she could do to reconcile herself to the idea. But she won;t.

In my experience, people who won't say why they don't like a school usually have unedifying reasons.

MigratingCoconuts · 08/04/2011 20:11

fair point seeker and I actually agree with you, but I don't think she has to actually explain that here. That is something she has repeatedly said she does not want to disclose.

Frankly, if I were a teacher in this crappy school, I wouldn't want the DD attending as, with such an unsupportive parent, the essential home/school support just won't be there.

Panelmember · 08/04/2011 20:13

But in many respects, OP's reasons for rejecting the school are irrelevant now. The deed is done.

It was rash to reject the school place - it will do nothing to boost her chances at appeal, which are already pretty small - and if a place does not become available through the waiting list she'll have no place in a state school. If she then asks the borough to find her child a place at a school, it could be farther away, worse-performing or otherwise more objectionable (in her eyes) than the one she's rejected. That's the risk she has decided to run.

Original poster

helenbicari · 08/04/2011 20:17

Yes guys, like MigratingCoconuts said I was asking for tips how to get DD to school not why I don't like the school. But I worry about bullying...

OP posts:

Panelmember · 08/04/2011 20:23

How are you planning to base your appeal on bullying? Why do you suppose that your child is more likely to be bullied at the school rejected than at the school you're appealing for?

Again, I would be surprised if you could construct a winning appeal out of the risk (as you see it) of bullying. All schools have an anti-bullying policy and no school is going to say that it accepts or tolerates bullying. Even if your preferred school has a better-than-average record on bullying, that isn't going to be enough to overturn the infant class size limit of 30 by admitting your child as an extra pupil.

Original poster

helenbicari · 08/04/2011 20:25

And yeah, even if I put her to that school I would not be happy and wouldn't be probably very supportive and as I said many times before if she doesn't get the place, I will home school her until there is place available, so she won't end up in worse performing or farther away school. And I will move again if I have to

OP posts:

Original poster

helenbicari · 08/04/2011 20:30

But Im not going to base my appeal on bullying, I actually realised appeal is not my hope, so I just need to be patient and wait for place available. There is another outstanding school she missed by few yards, so I will put her on waiting list there too. And please don't make me laugh,anti-bullying policy? I have heard lots of cases when parents new about it, teachers new about it and no one did anything about it

OP posts:

ballstoit · 08/04/2011 20:51

Helen, Are you convinced that home schooling would be a better start to your DDs education that this school. You would need to have rigorous arrangements, not only for the academic side of education but for her social and emtotional development too. In my opinion it would be harder for your daughter to join an established group at your preferred school having been at home with you for a year, than if she'd been to a 'satisfactory' school for the same time.

When DS started school I was worried about him going to our priority school as it was in special measures and there is a significant minority of children I was worried about him mixing with because of their behaviour and experiences.

However, when we looked round we felt that the school was improving, the children were well cared for and that there was more focus on play in the early years that at other 'good' schools.

Since he started the school 2 years ago they have gone from special measures to good. He has done fantastically well, has a reading age of 9, loves going to school and has a group of friends who behave well and work hard. The school have cared for him really well during the breakdown of my marriage and a period of me being very ill. I have no regrets about sending him there at all.

ariane5 · 08/04/2011 20:55

iam in harrow too, i think i probably knowwhat school you are talking about as it is near where i live and i too have heard a lot of negativity towards it but iam sure you will get into one of your preffered ones on a waiting list,good luck

Original poster

helenbicari · 08/04/2011 21:04

Ballstoit that's what I'm worried about, but I was afraid to say it here cos people can get pretty rough with me. I don't think that school is improving. I just want the best for my little girl,she is very sensitive and emotional and gets upset easily and I'm worried about her

OP posts:

Original poster

helenbicari · 08/04/2011 21:06

thanks ariane5

OP posts:

seeker · 08/04/2011 21:17

So it'a s crappy school because it has a lot of children with behavioural problems.

Though so.

clam · 08/04/2011 21:46

OP, with all due respect, all your objections seem to be based on hearsay, gossip, fear of what might happen and a vague impression you've gleaned from visiting the children's centre next door.
At least be honest about it.

Original poster

helenbicari · 08/04/2011 22:10

ok, I'm honest about it, but I actually believe what I hear,cos even though I was only in children centre next door, and didn't know much about the school I disliked it right from the beginning and then there was the hearsay and gossip which only confirmed what I already thought. Please don't think I'm being narrow minded, but that's how I feel, surely I have a right to feel this way and do what I think is the best for my daughter

OP posts:

Blef1974 · 08/04/2011 22:18

You've said you might consider private school rather than send your DD to this "crappy" yet scoring satisfactory school. Why not just send her to private school then? I know that if I was able to even consider private school for any of my DD's then they would be there like a shot. And if your husband is sick (too sick to walk to school and back) and you have the free time to consider home schooling your DD how would you pay for private schooling? It is rather expensive you know.

Have you considered that your stubbornness could hold your DD back educationally? You state your DD is bright, and I'm sure she is, but you are prepared to delay her education because you can't get the exact school you want. Is that really wise? What happens if she misses out again? Will you continue to hold her out of school indefinitely?

You also stated that no-one wants to send their children to the school that your DD has been offered. How do you know this? I'm sure that there are parents who do chose that school or their children wouldn't be there.

I sincerely hope your DD gets her place at the school you want, but you need to be aware that sometimes appeals don't work. Sometimes you have to settle for second or even third best.

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