8 year old refusing to go to school

[torie1980]

Hello, i have a 8 year old that started junior school in september, my problem is that he hates school and now is refusing to go to school i have managed to get him there for a few hours a day but feel like i am failing him, he wont tell me what is up with him and it is heartbreaking to watch him go through this i am at my wits end with him x

So your son has been diagnosed as depressed. You are at your wits end and finding it heartbreaking. Why are you still sending him into school? Please don't think I'm having a go at you, I'm not. I'm just trying to understand why you are continuing with a situation which you and your son are finding unbearable.

Couldn't you bring him out of school, give him time to destress and maybe open up a bit about what problems he's having at school and press the LA to find him a place at another school quickly? Then maybe do the phased return that has been mentioned.

Thats what i am going to do but with no support network around me i am finding it hard but i gotta pull myself together and get a grip i know i think that once primary admissions have sorted themselves out and let my DS move it will be so much pressure of us all

just thought i would let you know the good news my Ds starts his new school next week i have just had a phone call of the school

That's good to hear torie, hopefully it will work out well for you :)

his last day is today thank god he is going to have a few days of and go to new school for one day next week

Great news. Well done you for bringing it about and I'm sure he'll find happiness at the new school.

it sounds like the school have been more thab useless,arent they concerned at all?my dd has been off school recently due to illness and obviously not on the same scale,but she has really struggled to get back into it at school since,kids live for the moment and if your not around for a bit they just move on,n unfortunately they struggle to fit back in.i have had to drag my dd to school this week in her dressing gown,because i know the more time spent away from school,the worse it wil get.i just wonder if maybe it has gone on so long for u now that he may feel that he'l never fit in again.move him for sure,as that school sounds so awful anyway,and try a new clean slate approach,where as he understands that u wil b in trouble if he doesnt attend also.good luck it certainly sounds like u have explored all avenues.sometimes u get swept up in the system and u for get what normal is...with the right support from a school u shouldnt need to weigh yourself down with endless confusing councelling too.x

Thank you for that his current and soon to be ex school are no gd at all in the past 5 months over 50 parents have took there children out of the school i have just told my DS that he does not have to go back and the smile on his made me smile again an i think it is so long since i smiled and for the first time in months he has come home in a happy mood and is being nice to his younger sister . It has not been an easy decision to move my DS it has taken 3 years to realise that my son was to good for that school and i did explore every other option before reaching this option but i seriously wished i had reached this at the beginning and when i told school that he would back because he was to good for there school i felt so proud as we had managed to get to this point

Thats great torie

Just ease him in, slowly. Build up a rapport with his teacher, HT and TA. Let them know his history and let them know you want to know everything that happens at school and how he is. You could suggest a "home-school book" which is a book that is your sons but he takes it to school each day for the teachers to write in and then brings it home for you to put comments in - its a way of keeping in close contact with the school. Would they do that?

He very probably is clinically depressed - my ds1 was

I wish you all the best x