Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

DS (4) being sent home for pooing or being called in the change him - normal?

91 replies

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 02/02/2011 14:07

DS just keeps pooing himself. Tried GP, rewards the lot but he keeps doing it. He started reception in Sept & I told them about this, but often he comes home caked own his legs etc) and red raw (then tells me he did it after lunch ie hours ago) , or they half heartidly change him and he has clean trousers but huge dried on amounts down his legs, or they call and ask me to take him home & then he isn't allowed back for 48 hours (no bug, he always has loose poo). DH has just been called to change him which is fine because he is off work, but he's back soon. He is starting to miss somuch school - what can I do? :(

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PixieOnaLeaf · 02/02/2011 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

belledechocchipcookie · 02/02/2011 14:53

Poor, poor child

Have you been in contact with the school nurse? They are really, really helpful. You can ask at the school reception, you don't need to give any details and she/he will call you back.

Have you looked at his diet to work out if there's anything he's allergic to? Wheat can be a problem, as can dairy.

3littlefrogs · 02/02/2011 14:56

It sounds like typical chronic constipation with overflow to me. You really need to take him to the GP asap and get a proper diagnosis and treatment. Poor little soul - this is so psychologically damaging for him.

Christmasbelle · 02/02/2011 14:58

I can totally relate to what you are going through. My son was 4 in october and up to christmas was still pooing his pants. I visited GP and was just about to be referred to a specialist when he started to poo on the toilet!!! We told him that father christmas had left him a little computerised game to play whilst on the loo (had tried books, reward charts, etc.) A month has gone by now and fingers crossed, no accidents. He takes the game to the loo everytime he goes, as he believes it "makes the poo come out!"

As for the school, I think that is a disgrace. I am an early years teacher and I would never leave a child to sit in there own mess. I am shocked!

homeboys · 02/02/2011 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

coccyx · 02/02/2011 17:35

Poor little soull. I would speak to the head and class teacher, not acceptable to leave him in a mess.
Is there a school nurse or Health visitor you could liaise with

mrz · 02/02/2011 17:51

Remember schools rarely have the facilities to deal with big toileting accidents that require more than a clean up with baby wipes and it sounds as if your poor son needs more.
You need to sit down with the school and discuss what to do in the event of an accident (whether you want them to do their best to clean him up or to contact you).

boohoohoo · 02/02/2011 17:53

Oh this is awful, the school I use to work in did use to change the children if they had an accident and shower them down, all children were asked to bring in a change of clothes (in nursery and some children in reception). Can give you no advice, sorry, but I think I would be looking for another school because they dont seem particularly caring, I mean who would leave a child like that. hope you get it sorted.

cazzybabs · 02/02/2011 17:55

The advice from the teaching unions is not to do it .. it takes a teacher away from teaching. Who else is there to do it?

Bumply · 02/02/2011 18:00

My eldest used to have issues with not using the loo for poos. The school used to call me in, as they said it was unhygenic for DC to have dirty clothes in the cloakroom after cleaning himself up (which he was capable of when told to by the teacher, and he had spare clothes).

Thankfully he didn't do it very often, and has since grown out of it. He was about 8-9 when I had to go in. Can't remember if he did it when he first started and they were more lenient then.

ohnono · 02/02/2011 18:29

Just wanted to back up what what others have said about constipation and Lactulose - it sounds pretty classic. it's certainly worth trying him with some. There seems there to be plenty of good advice on the school issue though I would be tempted to take him out for a few weeks (it's nearly halfterm anyway) and try to get the constipation sorted. It's only reception so not the end of the world if he misses a couple of weeks.

BuzzLightBeer · 02/02/2011 18:32

It must be awful for him. But at the risk of getting verbally stoned to death, its not a teachers job to do this is it? They should be, well, teaching?

rolandweary · 02/02/2011 18:33

if you teach foundation stage children, then it bloody well IS your job

if you don't like the holistic and care-based nature of teaching very young children, then you should look for a different career

you can't exclude children for having toilet accidents at 4 fgs

cazzybabs · 02/02/2011 18:39

rolandweary - but what if you are teaching.. how then does it?

I don't myself have a problem with it but can see others might ... would you like to change 30 children?

cazzybabs · 02/02/2011 18:39

(plus h and s - risk if infection etc etc)

rolandweary · 02/02/2011 18:44

I think it's unlikely all thirty children would need changing in one day

but yesterday I changed 6

it's what happens with very young children - the OP's child is 4, you can't be in loco parentis for 6 hours a day with children that age and avoid bodily functions

infection - rubbish, wear plastic gloves if you're worried

would you refuse to help them wipe their noses properly as well?

BuzzLightBeer · 02/02/2011 18:47

you can wipe their noses in the room. How can the teacher leave the other 20 children for 10 minutes to clean up one child?

Here we start school at 5, and have shorter days. Maybe your school system isn't suitable for such young children?

rolandweary · 02/02/2011 18:49

I do agree with that, they are too young at 4 IMO

but given that they are at school, they must be properly cared for, and that includes their physical wellbeing.

goingroundthebend4 · 02/02/2011 18:51

Call school nurse also ask Lea for copy of their policy they have duty of care and in reception there be least one TA helping in class.They are expected to help clean them up with soiling

School nurse can help draw up a plan with the school

Ds often has problems with wiping/soiling and they have to help him change

SauvignonBlanche · 02/02/2011 18:51

That's outrageous!
Ask to meet the Head.

SparkleSoiree · 02/02/2011 18:57

It is inhumane and humiliating to leave a 4yr old child in heavily soiled underwear and to then send them home because the school choose not to assist or support them.

I know of a childminder that had the care of a schoolchild after school who had a similar problem and she used to really tell the child off, unnecessarily in my view.

4yrs old is a small child and as such a lot of leeway should be given in these sort of situations.

JuicyLips · 02/02/2011 18:59

with us it wont be his teacher changing him but the teaching assistant.

mrz · 02/02/2011 19:05

goingroundthebend4 the legal ratio for reception is one teacher to 30 pupils so there isn't always a TA and not all TAs contracts allow them to change children.

Goblinchild · 02/02/2011 19:06

Have you considered sending him in pullups? That would contain the poo better and stop it ending up all down his legs.
I'd also send in at least two full changes of clothing, and plastic bags. The school should have all the rest, gloves and such.
I agree that the doctor should be your first stop if you haven't done that already.

Fayrazzled · 02/02/2011 19:20

I'd go back to your GP and ask them to refer you to the paediatric continence service. In some areas you can self-refer; may be worth a google. I'd also ring the school nurse service and get him/her on side too and approach the teacher/HT for a meeting to get a proper plan for dealing withi this sorted.

I think the school is handling this badly. Unfortunately I don't think the teacher can be expected to do the clean-up: she could well be leaving the other 29 children without a teacher for 10 minutes or so and that's not on on a regular basis. However, there should be someone on the staff, with whom your son feels comfortable, that could assist him and clean him up. It's neglect for him to be sat in his own faeces for hours at a time.

Flip

1 2 3 4