One boy, girl on the way... to co-ed or not?

[deliakate]

Hi, was just wondering if there's anyone here who can offer an opinion on the merits of sending children to single or mixed sex prep-schools, and whether it makes a difference if they have siblings of the same or opposite sex?

We have been looking at various prep schools in the area since our son was born, with a view to him going into one for pre-prep at 2 and a half-ish. There is a great boys school, with an excellent reputation (drawback is that it doesn't have pre-prep and starts at 4, so we'd have to choose another pre-school/nursery).

We have found out we're going to be having a little girl in May, the age gap will be 22 months, and have been thinking about how this will affect things. There are two really lovely girl's schools within walking distance of our house, with kindergartens, which it would be lovely to send her to.

Finally, there is one co-ed prep school we like the look of, which also has a kindergarten.

It would be a bit silly to send DS to the co-ed place, and then have DD going to a girl's school nearby, wouldn't it? Is it nicer for them to be at the same school... any thoughts at all on my ramblings?!?

I sent my DD to a co-ed school because when we were choosing a place I knew I wanted more children but didn't have them yet!

In the end I had another girl, and although there are some very good girls' schools around here I am glad to have her where I do because actually it is near to our house so her friends are more local (which is not the case with some private schools).

Anyway, I took the view that I will probably prefer to have her in a girls' school from 11, but for now co-ed is fine.

You need to think about the school run. will it be possible with 2 at different schools?

My DT's go to school which is Coed until 8 when the boys leave and the girls stay till 11 as DH and I thought it would be nice for them to be at school together for a bit, as we intend for them to go to single sex senior schools. That said, we are moving to NY in May, and though they will go to a co-ed pre school the schools we would like them to got to after that are both single sex. In short, if time and coordination of two different schools isn't an issue, I would probably decide based on the schools, rather than if they are coed or not. I wouldn't worry at all about them not meeting members of the opposite sex and whatever.

The girls schools don't begin with F and G by any chance?

We have decided against co-ed, as the co-ed wouldn't have suited our DD although would have been fine for DS. So we have gone for separate schools will tell you in September whether it was a good idea!

Note that many co-ed schools are boy heavy, 60% boy is the norm as often girls leave at 11 and boys til 13 so they make more money out of the boys...

A boy heavy school we decided would definitely not suit DD.

A single-sex school would have been awful for me as a child, and I still find the concept a bit strange. Although on balance if they're getting mixed-sex socialisation elsewhere, then I suppose I'd mostly focus on the comparative performances of the schools.

My ds and dd go to single sex schools. I went to one as did my dh so we don't find this strange. More importantly the schools really suit our dc's personalities. The schools are 10 mins apart but a lot of parents are in the same situation so we do some shared pick-ups. At the moment I drop my dd off first then my ds and the reverse at pick-up.
They both love their schools. I'm not concerned about the fact that they are single sex schools as they see a lot of each other and their friends so it's not as if they don't know how to play with each other.
I would choose the best school for your child whether it's single sex or co-ed. Only you know which would be better for them.

My dd's school has a co-ed junior (3-11) school, but they then split up to single sex for 12-16 on separate sites (not too far apart though), meeting up for various extra curricular activities, orchestras, drama etc. And then they come back together for a co-ed 6th form in preparation for uni & real life. They reckon that for the important years when girls and boys develop at different rates and are educationally different they need to learn differently.

DD is currently 14 and it is certainly the best for her. Different schools suit different children and families and only you will know what is best for your children. And what suits them at 5 may not necessarily be best for them at 11. Sometimes siblings need to be apart and sometimes they benefit from being together. My sister said she hated going to the same school as me as she felt that she always had to live up to my high standards! The truth is she probably did better than me but that was her perceptions at the time.

Hmm, good food for thought there, thank you.

The girl's schools begin with a G and a W..... (Granville or Walley).

I had not even considered the issue of how DCs would feel about being at their sibling's school - I had an older brother of the same age gap, and was definitely conscious of his presence - mostly because all the girls of his year tried to befriend me as they fancied him.

Thats interesting. My dd goes to Wally and lots of friends send their kids to Granville. I have to say that Wally is just amazing. My dd loves it and we were worried about single sex. However they are really encouraged to be individuals and allow her to be a tomboy.

I initally discounted it as did not want single sex but it just suits her so well. I would have preferred co ed but for us the co ed options did not suit her personality as much. Which one were you thinking of?

Most of the school with a boy and a girl do the 2 school drop off thing but cope fine. Mostly to the boys school I think you are thinking of(New Beacon?).