I feel like I can't trust anyone to look after my daughter.

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, my daughter isleaving her private school with she has been at since she was two and is going to be home educated until we can get her in to a decent state school.
She has SEN's and she dosn't like school and there have been several issues like them not helping her to get changed and her missing her dance lessons etc.
I always thought her teacher was very nice but just dosn't have much experience of SEN's. I trusted her to look after my dd.

When I leave her in the mornings, she's often crying but I have to leave her and trust she'll be fine once I've gone which usually she is. A mum told me that the other day, she was still crying so she went to comfort her. My daughter said "I don't know what to do". This mum then told the teacher quietly that Lucy was upset and didn't know what to do. The teacher then lent over her and said very loud and sternly "She knows perfectly well what she should be doing, when she can be bothered!" Apparently this made her even more upset.

She never tells me what's happened at school so I have to have a lot of trust in the teachers. I did really trust her but that's really shocked and upset me.

I'm now very weary of sending her to another school where I won't know the teachers or the children. I know it sounds bad, but she is a target for bullies and she can't express her feelings or explain what's happened properly. I'm now thinking that I'll probubly home ed indefinatly as I'll find it too hard to trust anyone with her. I know how rediculus that sounds but it's how I'm feeling at the moment.

Thank you, that's really reassuring to know. It's good to know that at least 3 teachers agree that I'm doing the right thing.

My DD (6) is in a small private school and there are two children with SEN in her class...the chld with the most comple needs has a TA and it was payed for by the council....why can't your DD have one? I dont understand.

Aside from that though I perfectly understnd you not wanting her there anymore...for a teaacher to speak like that to a yr 1 child with or WITHOUT SN is totally not on!

If small childsays she doesn't know what to do then she doesn't! they dont fib about things like that...I am angry on your behalf and hope that you get it fixed soon.

One thing you should consider is your dd's social development.
Would HE not limit her contact with other children her age?
Although saying that if I didnt work I would seriously consider it for my dd !!!

I'm a teacher too and think you are being sensible...so that is 4 of us!

Shame about teacher as I thought she had some important points to make.

I guess it is easy to become over sensitive in our business...

At least you can now go armed with some questions wheen you approach state schools. "Lucy often forgets what she needs to do next, how will you deal with it?" all those sort of questions. Surely in a mainstream state school she we be entitled to some 1 to 1 support which would be a huge improvement.

Can you push to have her statemented whilst she isn't attending school????

We are going to try for a statement while she's off school.

She'll be doing clubs outside of school and I'm hopefully going to meet up with some home ed groups in our area. I'm also going to keep in contact with some of the mums from school, so she should be o.k socially for a while. I hope.

Shanahan- It might be down to area? I know that we wouldn't be able to get a T.A in a private school without paying. It was hard enough getting her a speech therapist and even then, she refuses to go into the school. We have to be seen in clinic.

Coldiz...I am glad your son's TA is so brilliant but I have to tell you that many small private schools offer amzing help for those who need it. I wont cite examples here...but they are not all result and target driven....ours certainly isn't.

We have a nice mix of children with and without SEN and the focus is very much on devloping each child's strengths...those who are not incredibly talentted academically are encouragd in other areas.

Hi I'm a Single Dad (and a Deputy Head Teacher) with twin boys and a girl. One of my twins has a similiar issue to your daughter and struggled for a while in school. I did take him out of school and attempted to HE. We did apply for a statement during this time and it was very difficult to obtain as often the ED Psych wants to see what they are like 'in school' (or so I found). I did in the end put him into the same school as his brother and he now has a statement full time, but even then was difficult to achieve.

She was seen at the end of last term by the ED Psych in school. They wrote a huge list of things that could help her. I'm not sure which if any of the recommendations are being implemented.
I know it's going to be very difficult to get her statemented but we can try. I spoke to one school that I like the look of and they said they'd help us to get her statemented which would be good.

But just to reassure you MLL my dd (nor my son years previously) had never set foot inside any educational provision when I secured her statement. Ed psych assessed her at home and produced her recommendations from what she saw there.It can be done you need to keep meticulous records though and try and enlist support from IPSEA or SOSSEN. Good Luck