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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Loads of parents are moaning about parents'evenings

98 replies

veryweirdteacher · 15/10/2010 16:50

Are they a waste of time?

Do you ever find out anything you didn't know?
And my DH has to come home early so he can come long- or babysit.

As a teacher I used to find them a waste of time as well.

Does anyone, out of interest, know a school that doesn't have parents' nights? Not that I am looking, but just curious.

OP posts:

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Feenie · 15/10/2010 17:19

Don't your school share your dcs next steps with you? Some parents like to work on them at home, some don't. Useful to know, though.

southeastastralbeing · 15/10/2010 17:20

really? i like them would appreciate a little longer than the allocated ten minutes though

emy72 · 15/10/2010 17:24

My DH and I normally make an appointment with the teacher out of the allocated time as we feel we don't want to be constrained to those 5 minutes.

Teachers seem to be happy enough to talk us through our DD's progress in that way. Parents' evening is just then a quick update and we can relax without feeling there are loads of things we wanted to ask but haven't!

Feenie · 15/10/2010 17:29

Any particular reason for that, emy?

missmapp · 15/10/2010 17:30

I am a teacher and a parent and value it from both sides. As a parent its good to get a vague outline of progress and next steps and as a teacher I like to meet with all parents and build up a working relationship.

I realise we dont go into great detail, but I always welcome parents to see me at other times for any issues and my kids school does the same

IndigoBell · 15/10/2010 17:33

They are a waste of time if the school has a policy of always telling you everything is fine. (Which my old school did)

They are not a waste of time if the teacher is honest with you.....

mrz · 15/10/2010 17:34

If your child is doing well and there is a report which includes next steps perhaps give it a miss But if nothing more parents evening is an opportunity to raise any questions you may have

MaMoTTaT · 15/10/2010 17:37

DS1's parents evening was invaluable, it has signalled a complete turn around for DS1, and am feeling SOOOOOOO much more positive about his education now.

Original poster

veryweirdteacher · 15/10/2010 18:03

I often think though that if all is well, leave alone, and if there is a problem they would contact us anyway.

I don't really get this "build a relationship" thing, as you may not see the teacher again for another 6 months or more.

I don't think I have ever learned a thing at PE but maybe that is becasue I was a teacher? Not sure.

OP posts:

lovecheese · 15/10/2010 18:05

They also give you the opportunity to see which children are in each group (displayed on the wall) .

I am joking, although groups are on the wall for all to see, which I personally feel is bad practice.

mrz · 15/10/2010 18:08

Since I don't have groups my parents are going to be disappointed.
As a teacher it is always the parents you really want to see who don't turn up ...ever!

emy72 · 15/10/2010 19:06

Feenie - it's because we have found that 5 minutes, which is what we get allocated, it's not really enough to understand and discuss our DD's progress as well as how she's fitting in socially, etc...

We've always preferred to make a 20 minute appointment with the teacher and every teacher so far has been more than happy to accommodate it...

mrz · 15/10/2010 19:15

but if every parent requested 20 mins that is 10 hours for a class of 30 children! without a toilet or coffee break

GrimmaTheNome · 15/10/2010 19:26

We always found them useful, and supplemented them with meetings before or after school if we wanted to discuss something more.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 15/10/2010 19:32

DD's parent evening in reception was invaluable and resulted in getting her assessed for dyspraxia earlier than she would have been otherwise. Always found them helpful for both the DCs.

Feenie · 15/10/2010 19:40

I would love to request more than 5 minutes to discuss my ds with his teacher - there is nothing I would like better than a 20 minute chat about my favourite subject. And if there was a specific issue, I would request it. However, to ask for 20 minutes for your pfb while everyone else sticks to their allotted 5 is beyond selfish, imo.

I wouldn't say no to you either, I am far too polite, as I expect your teachers are. I have several parents who have rumbled the system and claim they can't make 3.30 till 6 on a Wednesday or Thursday, but really just want 25 minutes instead of 5. I will see any parent for this amount of time and longer at the drop of a hat if there is a specific issue we need to discuss. But to make a longer parents' evening appointment because you don't want to stick to the allotted five isn't fair on all the other parents (like me!) who do put up with their 5 minutes. And it isn't fair to the teacher who (like me) has to chuck in an extra 4 hours on top of parents' evenings because some parents fancy a bit of a chinwag about their pfb.

pointydog · 15/10/2010 19:47

I've always liked them. I like to hear about my dds and have a little chat about that.

I like to suss out the teachers a little bit so I know who my dds are talking about when a funny tale is told over the tea table.

pointydog · 15/10/2010 19:51

I like to look at their stuff on the wall. I like to read what other kids had written in wall displays because kids are funny.

I like to walk along the corridors - just for a few minutes - and realise what my dds walk through every day.

I like to walk along the history dept corridor in particular because they always have first rate displays.

I like to tell the good teachers how much my dds and I appreciate the fact that they are so good.

I like to make sure I understand the exams that are coming up in a few years.

Stop fucking moaning, some of you.

foxinsocks · 15/10/2010 19:52

yes I like that too

as both dh and I work, I find the first parents evening of the year hysterical as I match up what the teacher is like (and looks like) with the dcs' descriptions!

I agree with pointy, it creates a picture so you know what they are talking about. Otherwise I'd have no idea!

desertgirl · 15/10/2010 20:18

feenie, how is she being selfish? her original comment is that she has a 20 minute appointment, which is presumably on another day, given the reference to parents' evening just being a quick update.

Is it selfish to ask for 20 minutes at some point in the year?

(haven't had any parent evenings yet, though we did have a meet the teacher morning where we sat on small chairs for an hour and were told what they were doing... we are supposed to have 'three way conferences' and all sorts though)

Feenie · 15/10/2010 20:31

Because it's a replacement around parents' evening, in lieu of a parents' evening appointment.

I have already said I would do that and more for any specific issue, any teacher would. Fwiw, we give 10 minutes to each parent in my school at parents' evening, and I am a bit about the 5 minutes I am allotted next week, but I won't book a different time just I want a longer chat. Why would my child be more important than everyone else's?

I would like more time too as a parent, but it isn't feasible to expect a teacher to do 30 x 20 minutes, however many weeks it's spread out over and it isn't fair on the other parents.

desertgirl · 15/10/2010 20:49

it isn't fair to spend 20 minutes discussing your child and his/her progress once in the whole year?

I think I'm glad my kids are not in that school system.

pooka · 15/10/2010 20:54

I like to look at the work they have done. See for myself their 'in school' progress over the course of the term - obviously I know what they get up to at home, so seeing what they're up to at school completes the picture for me.

I also like to have the chance to meet the teachers and actually talk with them rather than feel I'm grabbing a minute here and there to mention lost uniform or query swimming arrangements.

Feenie · 15/10/2010 20:55

Parents' evenings are usually twice a year, desertgirl, and emy said that's what her and her dh 'normally' do.

No, 20 minutes, twice a year, on top of two normal parent's evenings, for around eight sets of parents - with no specific issues - are a pita to fit in for teachers (I would actually like time to plan/mark/assess aswell, you know, on top of my normal teaching day).

Time meeting parents is always additional to normal teaching hours, and is harder to fit in. Why should the system be different for certain parents, and not others?

desertgirl · 15/10/2010 21:10

Well, maybe if enough parents requested the extra time, the school would change its policy on 5 minute appointments. If you are doing 10 minutes per appointment you are already doing more than emy72's teachers (or your ds's teachers).

Yes teachers need time, don't we all - but I think parents do have a legitimate interest in how their dc are doing at school, and 5 minutes even if it is twice a year doesn't seem time to say anything once you have sat down and said hello.

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