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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Loads of parents are moaning about parents'evenings

98 replies

veryweirdteacher · 15/10/2010 16:50

Are they a waste of time?

Do you ever find out anything you didn't know?
And my DH has to come home early so he can come long- or babysit.

As a teacher I used to find them a waste of time as well.

Does anyone, out of interest, know a school that doesn't have parents' nights? Not that I am looking, but just curious.

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spanieleyes · 15/10/2010 21:12

You are allowed to talk to teachers at times other than Parents Evenings you know!

Feenie · 15/10/2010 21:16

The point is that most parents realise the constraints of the system we work in (30 children - one teacher) and don't take the piss. But some do. I am on the other side of the fence also as a parent, and am accepting of the 5 minutes because I don't happen to think my child is more important than anyone else's, and don't want to pressurise a busy teacher any more than she is already at such a busy time.

If there's an issue, it's fine. But if there isn't, it's not very fair to anyone.

As msz points out, if the report is detailed enough and gives next steps, then outside of the two usual parents' appointments there shouldn't be too much to discuss in a normal situation.

brassband · 15/10/2010 21:17

At primary,I honestly think teachers only tell you what they think you want to hear.

desertgirl · 15/10/2010 21:19

spanieleyes, feenie seems to be suggesting you aren't...

yes if there is a good report, that would go a long way; thought they were generally all bland these days though?

pozzled · 15/10/2010 21:29

As a teacher I am always happy to speak to parents outside parents' evenings, but I would also be quite about parents who requested a 20-min slot for no specific reason. The week of parents evening I generally see a few parents every day for 10 minutes each (in addition to statying till 7.30pm on the 'actual' date). It does make it really hard to get planning, marking etc done. I don't begrudge the time, and I do think parents' evenings are important. It does get frustrating though when parents come up with queries that they could either answer easily elsewhere or that I'm really not the best person to deal with it.

Feenie · 15/10/2010 21:31

Desertgirl, if you read my posts properly, you will find that I've said on several occasions that I will happily talk to any parent at any time about any issue, so don't attempt to make mischief where there is none, please.

I mind less as a teacher about the extra time for no specific reason issue - it's always been part of the job. But I mind a hell of a lot as a parent - why should I get 5 minutes while other parents have cosy little chats instead?

StarExpat · 15/10/2010 21:38

In my school, my parents get 20-30 minutes each. We have two whole days allocated for this. Most everyone attends. It's very valuable for both of us. I don't see how I would keep building on a home-school, parent-teacher relationship in 5 minutes. I also see or speak to most of them daily. Some maybe a couple of times per week, a very few once per week (at gates, via email...etc.)

Original poster

veryweirdteacher · 15/10/2010 21:38

But why not just email parents as another means of reporting back? Why the need to go into school? And the children could bring their books home for parents to see.

I think that you should only go in if there is a problem in which case the teacher should request a meeting.

Otherwise, a written report and maybe email contact is better/enough?

In secondary schools- where I used to teach- parents' nights ended at almost 10pm. Just time toget home, go to bed then get up again to be back into the classroom.

OP posts:

Feenie · 15/10/2010 21:40

Interesting, Starexpat. Who teaches your classes? Sounds expensive in cover!

PaisleyPumpkin · 15/10/2010 21:42

We get 15 min slots at DD's school, then time to look at work on top. I'm amazed that anything can be fitted into 5 minutes.
DH got a lot out of this last one - it was the first time he's ever actually spoken with DD's teacher this year - I think for many parents it is.

maktaitai · 15/10/2010 21:44

The 5-minute chat is fine, although I would expect any issues to get raised at the time they come up, rather than waiting for parents' evening.

But what I love is to spend about half an hour mooning over ds's work books. That is heaven to me [happy sigh].

Feenie · 15/10/2010 21:44

We give time for parents to look at their child's work at their leisure, before or after their appointment.

It's the only time I will get to talk to ds's teacher, since I teach full time, so it's very important to me.

StarExpat · 15/10/2010 21:46

Feenie - the kids don't have school on those two days.
I also like them to have time to look at their work more in depth than they would if they popped in on another day.

Feenie · 15/10/2010 21:47

Why don't the kids come to school? Do you have two days where kids are at home on top of the 5 training days then?

StarExpat · 15/10/2010 21:49

It is in the UK, but it is not a British School. We have more than 5 training days and yes, the kids are at home as they are "conference days" for parents.

Feenie · 15/10/2010 21:51

Ha, wouldn't mind from a teacher's point of view - sounds very useful, in fact. But have you seen the hoo-hah some MNers create over traning days?! And our parents would also have a fit at two days more!

StarExpat · 15/10/2010 21:57

I know I have seen that! But I can honestly say that most of the parents at our school all love it. They are mostly not British either . It works for all of us, parents and teachers alike - and feedback is always welcome - it's a very open, friendly, communicative environment and very lovely. We are all on the same team :)

Feenie · 15/10/2010 22:01

I like to think we have the same at our school - most parents think so, I know. As a teacher, I like the idea. I still think our parents would hate the idea of extra days off. As a parent, I would like it also - but the chances of getting any teaching time off to go in the daytime would be slim.

StarExpat · 15/10/2010 22:07

It is tough here as people seem to view school as childcare. This is not the case at my school. Parents love extra days off and often take kids out an extra day or two before or after a holiday (lots out today as half term next week - v diff term times). I know that discussion is huge on MN, too. Again, my school is just a totally different environment so I can't really compare.

pozzled · 15/10/2010 22:13

Starexpat your school sounds great, I would love to have such a strong relationship with parents. I have taught many children where I have never once met the parent, and it is such a shame when you get to know the child so well as a class teacher.

StarExpat · 15/10/2010 22:16

I would also be very uncomfortable not knowing the class teacher well (as a parent). That comes from where I come from, though. I grew up with that - parents and teachers talking a lot and having a strong relationship. When I first started teaching, I ended up in the same school with a teacher I had when I was 5 yo and she was telling me things she remembered about both my mother and I! :)

EvilTwins · 15/10/2010 22:28

I teach secondary. I teach Performing Arts so I see 2/3 of Yr 7, all of Yr 8 and 3/4 of Yr 9 - over 250 kids in KS3 alone. That's a lot of 10 minute slots. Obviously not everyone turns up, but I happen to think that it's an invaluable opportunity to get to know parents and to discuss their childrens' progress.

If you don't see the worth in parents' evenings, fine, don't go. But don't moan about them, don't try to make out that they're a big fat waste of time - plenty of parents find them bloody useful. And don't bang on about parents' evenings being a waste of time and then demand that your DC's teacher gives you endless appointments at other times instead.

Education is a partnership - take the opportunities given to you by your DC's school and make the most of them.

GoodDaysBadDays · 15/10/2010 22:49

we had the two days for parent consultations at one of the primaries ds was at, I hated the idea at first but actually thought the system worked well, the teachers particularly seemed happier and more engaged as they weren't tired after a long day.

Secondary now do the same, but one day, for tutor meetings at the end of summer term to go through report and targets, parents evening to see subject teachers is still held one evening.

I really value parents evening / days and think pointydog's post was spot on. I like to see what they're doing and where they're doing it so when we chat it all means so much more! I feel it's really important to my dc's to have a strong relationship with teachers and school in general.

The teachers I've come across over the years have always been very accommodating at scheduled appointments and throughout the year and through chatting with them many things can be discovered and /or addressed that would not be possible via email. And I've always found I've had as long as was needed on that occasion, sometimes we've been in and out in a minute or so! When we've needed it we have stayed longer but that's part and parcel, I wouldn't begrudge another parent the extra time if it was needed, same as anywhere else where time slots are allocated - doctor, hospital. It may be a little frustrating at the time but i'd rather that than be rushed out dissatisfied.

Quattrocento · 15/10/2010 22:55

I'd quite like to ask DD's school why the teaching is so feeble, but i've never quite plucked up courage. So I start with the oblique challenges, get fobbed off with platitudes, and then start challenging the platitudes.

So it's useful in one sense. They know I'm watching every step.

Feenie · 15/10/2010 22:55

I wouldn't 'begrudge another parent where it was needed' either, Gooddays - but I do as a parent where it most certainly is not.

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