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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Loads of parents are moaning about parents'evenings

98 replies

veryweirdteacher · 15/10/2010 16:50

Are they a waste of time?

Do you ever find out anything you didn't know?
And my DH has to come home early so he can come long- or babysit.

As a teacher I used to find them a waste of time as well.

Does anyone, out of interest, know a school that doesn't have parents' nights? Not that I am looking, but just curious.

OP posts:

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Feenie · 15/10/2010 22:56

Bugger, crossed out where I should have bolded, sorry!

pointydog · 15/10/2010 22:57

I don;t understand why you can't pluck up the courage if it's in your child's best interests.

Quattrocento · 15/10/2010 23:23

Oh believe you me I get my point across. Don't like to be too overt, because that would be rude, d'you see. It's reassuring that even the terminally dim get there eventually.

EvilTwins · 15/10/2010 23:24

How nice, Quattro, that you think your DC's teachers are "feeble" and "terminally dim". Makes me wonder why you still send them to that school.

Quattrocento · 15/10/2010 23:27

It's a bit rude, I agree. DS's teachers have all been pretty good. DD's have been mixed to quite an alarming extent :) I am still recovering from having to teach her a year's worth of french. Happily that could be accomplished in 6 hours. But still, a bit of a worry, as I'm sure you'll agree.

GhoulishNightsSpookyNights · 16/10/2010 00:17

Feenie But who am I to decide what it is another parent may find important about their dc's education or well-being?

I appreciate teachers are busy people, as most of us are, but who's to say what seems like a parent just rambling on might not bring up bigger issues?

It is only one night a year that all parents are invited in.

Feenie · 16/10/2010 00:27

"Feenie But who am I to decide what it is another parent may find important about their dc's education or well-being?

Erm..take it from the people who have posted on this thread that this is what they do normally*? As a matter of course? Like many parents I know? Like, your normal common-or-garden parents' appointment?

GhoulishNightsSpookyNights · 16/10/2010 00:44

I'm agreeing with most people on this thread

The general consensus here imo is that people like parents evenings and many think 5 minutes isn't enough time once a year.

My point 'who am I to decide what it is another parent may find important' is relating to begrudging or not another parent's time with a teacher. If they take 5 minutes over the allocated time talking about something, it is not for me to decide whether that conversation is needed or not and I don't think anyone has posted here to the contrary

Original poster

veryweirdteacher · 16/10/2010 08:55

Ghoulish but don't you think that if parents have an issue which is going to exceed their allocated 5 minutes, they ought to appreciate that before long before they turn up, and ask to meet the teacher at another time?

IMO parents nights are not there to discuss big issues such as behaviour or bullying; they are there to give a quick snapshot of progress.
No?

OP posts:

zapostrophe · 16/10/2010 09:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mrz · 16/10/2010 10:58

GhoulishNightsSpookyNights if parents have real concerns about their child/children parent's evening isn't the time to raise it to be honest.

Gorionine · 16/10/2010 11:08

I find parents evening very useful. In fact much more useful than the school report we get at the end of the year. I can ask what I want to know rather than only listen to what the teacher wants me to know .

clam · 16/10/2010 12:59

If a parent claims they cannot make the allocated open evening appointment and requests an after-school one, I will still give them just 10 minutes, unless there is a specific issue that needs discussing. Invariably a phone call or meeting elsewhere will need my attention after the 10 minutes is up.

I cannot believe that emy72 seriously thinks that she should be entitled to 25 minutes of the teacher's time, for no specific reason, when others are expected to accept much less.

StarExpat · 16/10/2010 13:22

As a teacher I'd have no problem with your request, emy. :) ours are already 20-30 mins each but if they were only 5-10 and everyone wanted more I'd arrange them.

Feenie · 16/10/2010 13:48

On top of a full time teaching position for 30 sets of parents? That's 6 weeks of after school appointments then, Star. Whilst I admire the sentiment, I don't think it's possible to do this and keep your planning, marking, preparing and assessing of 10+ subjects up to date.

StarExpat · 16/10/2010 16:29

I only have 15 :) and I'd make them during planning periods in the day or before school. This is always when people make appointments with me. I rarely set afterschool ones as I need to take my ds home and spend time with him. Then do work after he goes to bed.

mrz · 16/10/2010 16:36

StarExpat I don't think anyone is saying they wouldn't be happy to make appointments with individual parents outside of parent's evening if parents feel they have things to discuss only that there needs to be a time limit for the actual parents night. Even with 15 children would you really want to spend over 5 hours after school?
I see it as somewhat dishonest for a parent to say they can't make parent's evening just so they can have longer. Why not be honest and make an appointment saying you need more time?

emy72 · 16/10/2010 16:56

Just to clarify though, my DH has politely asked the teacher to have an appointment after or before school to suit the teacher so that we could discuss my DD's progress on a more in depth basis (There are reasons for this). The teacher could have turned round and declined if they didn't feel it necessary.

As it happens it was necessary and the teacher agreed - it wasn't a chin wag. I would be happy to be classed as a PITA and totally unreasonable if I took the teacher's time just to have a general chat. So I guess we agree!! :o)

clam · 16/10/2010 16:59

If I only had 15 kids in my class, I'd probably be more prepared to offer longer too.
But 30 kids, x10 minutes? Or, as some seem to suggest, 30 x 25 minutes? You do the maths. And on top of a full day's teaching (unlike secondary schools who seem to send their kids home at lunchtime on open evening days ), with lessons to plan for the following day?

And that's not counting having to feed and tend to my own DCs.

mrz · 16/10/2010 17:03

Pleased you clarified that emy... yes it's perfectly reasonable to ask for a longer appointment if there are concerns.

clam · 16/10/2010 17:09

Agree with mrz. Although that wasn't what you implied earlier.

Feenie · 16/10/2010 17:15

Indeed! That's why I asked you if there was a particular reason for it, emy. You implied that it's just what you 'normally' do.

GhoulishNightsSpookyNights · 16/10/2010 17:39

Yes I agree that big issues throughout the year need to be discussed at the time but sometimes things come up through the parents evening discussions.

I'm not saying plan to spend longer chatting but if it does happen because that's the way it turns out then so be it. Shouldn't we as parents and teachers be flexible here?

As I said last night it is only one night a year, the prep of extra planning may take up an extra evening or two so three evenings out of a year.

Every job I've had, and certainly in dh's job, flexibility to accommodate such things is not unusual

Feenie · 16/10/2010 17:43

I am confused - as far as I am aware, the discussion wasn't about appointments running over. Again, I am very used to this, it is part and parcel of parents' evenings. Of course teachers are flexible about this - we have very little choice, so it's not an issue!

mrz · 16/10/2010 19:08

GhoulishNightsSpookyNights

Yes I agree that big issues throughout the year need to be discussed at the time but sometimes things come up through the parents evening discussions.

But is it fair on the next parent to overrun by 15-20 mins to discuss it? or would it be better to arrange to talk at another time?

I talk far too much and always overrun but I am concious that parents are waiting

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