Differences nobody tells you about between state and private schools

[ragged]

DS (yr6) started at a very small private school last month. He takes a minibus to get there, he went on a 4 day residential course his 3rd week.

DS is allowed to swap food with other kids at lunchtime -- which I find kinda cute, like my childhood, but is totally forbidden at local state primary.

The children brought (were encouraged, even to bring) shoebox-full amounts of sweets on the residential trip. I am left with a strong impression that the school has no concerns about teaching healthy eating habits.

DS gets dropped off at different places by the minibus, nobody consults me. I don't mind, but I am surprised -- would a regular transport bus to state high school conceive of doing that?

Advice was to give them a max of 15 quid spending money on the residential trip (DD Brownie's 6-day trip requested max. 5 quid spending money, so 15 for 4 days seemed like a huge amount --unlike Brownies they didn't even go off site!).

Do you think these kind of differences are just things you discover when you step outside the state system?

No

All schools are different. State schools do residential courses and have different policies on lunches and sweets and spending money.

The things you mention don't seem much to do with state/private - just different school policies. DS goes to an independent primary and I would be surprised by most of those things you describe apart from the residential trip. But I can't imagine that that is exclusive to private schools!

DD frequently swaps food with the others when she has a pack lunch, and she's at a state primary.

DS1 had to bring a bag of wrapped sweets for his stat school Y6 residential trip. These were put into a huge bucket and handed out on coach tripsl.

His private school mini bus does not stop anywhere but the designated stops. I wouldn't be happy with it stopping just anywhere TBH.

All sounds hideous to me, state or private it wouldn't be my cup of tea.

er ... at girl's private school...unremarkable male gardener causes frisson amongst inmates

Swapping food and taking sweets aren't to be encouraged at primary school age IMO. You're not selling independent schools to me with that list. :)

My DD2s primary school seems to let the DC swap foods and it really pisses me off that little DD2 is cajoled into giving her treats to the older girls who she is desperate to have notice her!
As for minibus dropping kids off at different places without consulting you-and you think this is a good thing?? What will happen one day if she doesn't arrive home and you don't know where to start looking for her.

Incidentally we are in a rural area where buses stop on demand at the end of farm lanes etc and so do school coaches

Has no-one noticed that our state school children tend to howl at full moons, or require whips, chairs and chains to keep them under control?

I'm not quite sure what your point is, OP - are you impressed that the school drops off the kids at different points without consulting you, or that shoe boxes filled with sweets is seen as teaching them to have healthy eating habits?

Personally, I'd be looking at other options - it's not something I'd want to be parting with my cash for.

Be careful with swaping food, you may be left with nothing. I am totally against it. A child might also go for something unhealthy from someone's lunchbox.
Dropping kids at different places is a bit strange. I would talk to the HD about it. At the end of the day you pay for the service.

I actually have children at state and private

the reason no one describes the things you list OP is because they are about one school and not the state, nor the private system.
My Dcs are not allowed to swap food attheir schools. The buses drop them at very specific places....
blah blah

Things no one ever tells you about state and private....
I passed a little girl going into the state school opposite with a scooter this morning. My DD walks
ergo all state school children scooter and all private school walk

DD has only ever attended private...she's in year 2. My sister often quizzes me in order to help her decide if she wants to move her own DC's to private. The biggest differences aside from the obviou such as smaller class and more one to one... she has noticed are

When collecting DC's there is no "scrum" at the door

DC in private schol eats from pottery plates and with metal cutlery instead of plastic

Food swapping allowed

bullying is none existant

We have to pay for all DC's pens and snacks

Our uniform is bloody expensive!

Again, all schools are different. I'm pleased to report that there is no 'scrum' at our state primary, they are entrusted with china plates and metal cutlery, food swapping is allowed and bullying is non-existent, thanks to great teaching team, a culture of respect and a robust anti bullying policy.

And I'm saving myself thousands every year [smug emoticon]

Our kids take truck loads of sweets on residentials for midnight feasts - we turn a blind eye

I wasn't attacking you or any State schools. Merely answering the OP's question.

Who are you talking to, ForMash?

DD goes private but her school is nothing like the one described by OP - for which I'm rather relieved.

Most people know the reasons why some parents choose private if they can afford it.

Food swapping and snacking would not normally be high on this priority list. In fact I was surprised that this at OPs was allowed at OPs school because DD gets choice of one cooked meal or veggie option each day and they eat like grown ups with mixed ages and a teacher on each table - swapping doesn't figure.

If that was for me ForMash, then please be assured I did not feel attacked.

sorry Feenie...it was meant for mmaisethe morningsidecat

Her jibe at me was a bit pointless...

I think you may be taking this all a tad too personally. That wasn't a jibe at you - it was a big at some of the generalisations expressed on here. As the first sentence in my post said, all schools are different.

But you practically quoted me Masie...and did a

I'm not taking it "Personally" I just wondered why you chose my examples to mention.

The difference I have been reflecting on recently is this. My state school educated ds was bullied by a boy in his class who called him, repeatedly, a "retarded cunt".

However, his privately educated friend, who is half German, is repeatedly called a "Nazi Jew-killer"

They are both 9. I suppose the second case does at least show a modicum of historical knowledge......

And anyone who says that bullying is "non-existent" at any school regardless of sector is deluding themselves.

Agree with seeker totally about bullying. Also hope your DS is ok.

DS is private but to be honest round these parts not exactly much difference in parents/children between state and private.

Its the class-size/after-school care stuff that is different.