Differences nobody tells you about between state and private schools

[ragged]

DS (yr6) started at a very small private school last month. He takes a minibus to get there, he went on a 4 day residential course his 3rd week.

DS is allowed to swap food with other kids at lunchtime -- which I find kinda cute, like my childhood, but is totally forbidden at local state primary.

The children brought (were encouraged, even to bring) shoebox-full amounts of sweets on the residential trip. I am left with a strong impression that the school has no concerns about teaching healthy eating habits.

DS gets dropped off at different places by the minibus, nobody consults me. I don't mind, but I am surprised -- would a regular transport bus to state high school conceive of doing that?

Advice was to give them a max of 15 quid spending money on the residential trip (DD Brownie's 6-day trip requested max. 5 quid spending money, so 15 for 4 days seemed like a huge amount --unlike Brownies they didn't even go off site!).

Do you think these kind of differences are just things you discover when you step outside the state system?

Because you were the last post. If you read other posts they also mentioned other posts. In fact, if we didn't mention other posts it would all be a bit random...

The was in reference to the fact that you pointed out that the scrum/plastic cutlery/bullying was a feature of a state school, and that it was one of the differences between that and a private school. I'm sure you didn't mean it to sound the way it did though

Oh seeker...that's terrible! When I said bullying was non existant...I meant in my experience I suppose...it's a very small school and in the three years we have been there, I have not heard of one single case.

And when I say small I mean small.

I have absolutely no idea what crockery/cutlery is used in DS's school - not something I've ever thought to ask.

Everyone has hot lunches though.

Seeker - you're right, I'm sure there is bullying at DD's school. Fortunately DD hasn't been on the receiving end of any, and neither have her friends...that doesn't mean there isn't any though. That was a silly claim to make on my part.

Oh gosh...we're all terribly British about it now aren't we! Me included of course... retracting our assumptions right left and centre. When I think about it this was a silly thread to come on....could only end in offence.

That would be funny seeker, if were not so awful. I agree with you though.

But I know what the OP is driving at. I moved my DCs from state to private and I couldn't get over how much more laid back they were about certain things (and typically the things the OP mentions). Sometimes I found them a bit lax and muddled as far as admin and communication goes, at least it seemed that way after coming from state school where every move is risk-assessed and vetted, and every simple thing requires a document in triplicate.

But other times I found it utterly exhilarating and refreshing to be somewhere less oppressive, with fewer patronising rules and guidelines, and more room for spontenaeity. Like the fact that little boys are actually allowed to run full-pelt in the playground.

To be fair I don't think the OP was saying it was better - just different. And I have found the same.

At my son's state primary, little boys are allowed to run around full pelt in the playground.

Again, I don't think it's the difference between state and independent. It's just the difference between schools.

The only real difference I'm confident of, whether good state, bad state, good private or bad private, is the class sizes.

Agree Mary - the only differences are the class sizes. Although even that's not always the case...again, depends very much on the school, it's location and intake for that year.

And yes, girls and boys are allowed to run full pelt at both the state primaries the DCs attend/have attended.

eek - errant apostrophe there

I think there must be a difference between schools depending on the personality of the head and whether that person has a good management team.

But I find it rather scary when I hear stories from private schools (usually primary) of how CRB checks weren't carried out and the lack of training or support for special needs or even first aid. It's all very well for this government scorning 'elf and safety' but if my child had asthma or a peanut allergy I'd want to know my child would be cared for promptly. There was a case reported just yesterday of a girl who died after her private (boarding?) school delayed sending her to hospital as she developed a rash and fever.

Well yes muminlondon....but there are ases of serious neglect in the papers about state schools AND private schools and what goes on in them.The little boy who died reccently of an asthma attack in the corridor of his state school for instance..members of staff were found to be neglectful...terribly sad....and the boys at Rugby I think it was who took tons of drugs on campus and sold them too.

If you or I or anyone else sends ttheir DC's off to spend all day in any institution then there will be risks...private or state.

I did say that schools differ. But I feel safer when I know there are standard procedures for good practice and that the school generally follows them.

They do have those at private schools too...there is a body of inspectors too.

Two too's...not a great sentence!

Crikey, isn't it funny how people look for hidden agendas, especially in something like the private vs. state school debates!

No, am not suggesting that DS school is a superior place for the things I listed, just surprised at the difference. What HeadlessHorseman said, really.

It's ok with me about the variations in drop-off locations because the only plausible choices are all reasonable, and DS walks home alone from where he's dropped off (he has a mobile). He got dropped opposite our door today.

I am refusing to include in his packed lunch (no hot dinner option available) anything worth swapping, btw .

.... allowed to swap food with other kids at lunchtime ....
What about children who may have allergies?

...I am left with a strong impression that the school has no concerns about teaching healthy eating habits....
And that's good?????

....DS gets dropped off at different places by the minibus, nobody consults me.....
I hope there are no major roads to cross when they choose to drop off at a different place.

....Advice was to give them a max of 15 quid spending money on the residential trip...
And I bet the richer ones took more...

Is this a piss take?

What a bizarre thread! I mean really, these are simply differences between the OP's experience, surely.

Yes, perhaps private schools are more lax eg about healthy eating as not policed by state...

But plenty of state schools have residential trips (ours does) and DS2's school yr 6 trip suggested £3-4 spending money per day and he was allowed to take sweets...

OP you post that you are not suggesting yr DS's school is superior; but is it i=even different? err, no not so much (except perhaps from the school he went to before?

":Like the fact that little boys are actually allowed to run full-pelt in the playground."

Who says they aren't allowed to do this at state school?

The op son is in year 6 so should be able to cope with crossing a road!

I have 1 in state and 2 in (small) private. I don't notice much difference other than the amount we are expected to contribute as parents. So the private school arranges a lot of visitors etc to the school that we have to pay something for,ditto short trips out etc. The state school is much more cautious about asking for money and (correctly) when they do they ask for a voluntary contribution.

I suspect individual schools vary considerably though. The head is really important.

I misread he was 6! feel better now

Ds's private school promotes healthy eating both in the lunches it provides and checking what children bring to school in their lunchboxes.

The boys play bulldog at break time which I'm not sure is a good thing. There is bullying but it is dealt with.

The biggest difference I've seen is the lack of LEA support for children with SENs in private school. There is simply no access or support at all. Thankfully the local NHS PCT don't take the same view but it means you have to know how to play the system and have good GP support, which we are lucky to have.

It seems weird that the NHS is happy to support my Ds even though he has private health insurance (used once when no equivalent consultant in the NHS local area) but the LEA maintain a blanket refusal to have anything to do with Ds unless he moves into the state sector.

I presume that the private school is more lax relaxed because of fewer accountability systems (no regular Ofsted inspections, no funding out of the public purse). I'm not saying that's a good or bad thing... just different! I'd heard about private school staff having fewer qualifications and less rigorous CRB checks (a friend is a brilliant but unqualified teacher at a private girl's secondary school), but I didn't expect those other things that have come up as differences. The things I've mentioned I don't think would happen at any of the local state schools, but I dunno about other parts of the country... hence why I wondered out loud here about it.

Dunno why some replies want to presume this is some kind of veiled bragging thread . Private schools are not always better, and certainly not best for every child. This partic private school would be a bad, maybe even terrible choice for my other DC (who still attend the local state primary and will almost certainly attend local comp with an iffy reputation).

ragged they are inspected but not by Ofsted. Ime the ISIS reports are more detailed than Ofsted. CRB checks are certainly carried out on all staff at ds's school. Agree with you re 'non qualified' teachers but like you said the ones we have are fab and we also have lots of very well qualified teachers.

I agree that private schools aren't automatically better. We have some good state schools where I live but not in my catchment and they are a match for any private school. There are also private schools I wouldn't use.

Yes Mollie...the ISIS report is very detailed...our private school also implements healty eating...no crap allowed although they do allow parents to bring cakes in for Birthdays if no child in the class has an allergy.

Ragged - perhaps you should have qualified your post with "between the state schools in my area that I have detailed knowledge of and the particular private school that I've chosen to send my DC to", given that you've agreed you don't know what goes on at other state schools?

Anything else sounds like a sweeping comparison between private and state, which as we all know always ends in tears...