Differences nobody tells you about between state and private schools

[ragged]

DS (yr6) started at a very small private school last month. He takes a minibus to get there, he went on a 4 day residential course his 3rd week.

DS is allowed to swap food with other kids at lunchtime -- which I find kinda cute, like my childhood, but is totally forbidden at local state primary.

The children brought (were encouraged, even to bring) shoebox-full amounts of sweets on the residential trip. I am left with a strong impression that the school has no concerns about teaching healthy eating habits.

DS gets dropped off at different places by the minibus, nobody consults me. I don't mind, but I am surprised -- would a regular transport bus to state high school conceive of doing that?

Advice was to give them a max of 15 quid spending money on the residential trip (DD Brownie's 6-day trip requested max. 5 quid spending money, so 15 for 4 days seemed like a huge amount --unlike Brownies they didn't even go off site!).

Do you think these kind of differences are just things you discover when you step outside the state system?

But then MN would be a very dull place if we put all those caveats in all the time.

Ragged, On MN it is usually quite impossible to say anything about private schools (unless it's a negative/critical comment - those are usually welcomed with open arms, and taken as cast-iron proof that we are all wasting our money ) without a stream of slightly tetchy comments insinuating boasting, preciousness, naivety, a warped and blinkered view of state education, etc., etc.

Best just get used to it!

My DS's smallish indie has a tuck shop for crisps, choc bars, fruit juice before prep. You can buy a banana or apple there if you wish. I like the way that crisps/choc aren't portrayed as evil - they are not in moderation.

On residential trips students can take 1 packet of sweets.

I have never believed it should be a school's job to educate children about healthy food choices - this should be what parents do as a matter of course.

The main difference I notice (DS used to go to a state primary) is the amount of independence the children are allowed.

Every week at his old school my DS would be sent to First Aid for some very minor scratch or bruise, in contrast he has been twice in 3 years at his indie school.

Running was not allowed at his old school, neiterh were ball games.

I have to agree with Giveshead too, any thread that mentions you might possibly like something about indie schooling, usually ends up with someone (usually me - hence the namechange) beiong told they are an elitist, fascist who should be shot etc etc.

Sorry - that should be an elitist, fascist who hits the wrong keyboard keys time to time.

Private schools are elitist - that's what you pay for - elitist by it's very definition means "the belief that certain persons or members of certain classes or groups deserve favored treatment by virtue of their perceived superiority, as in intellect, social status, or financial resources".

Otoh, I've never heard anyone being called a facist, or being told they should be shot on these threads. Link please...

Maisie We don't believe our children deserve favoured treatment simply because of their superiority - that, I think you will find, is what state grammar schools are for.

We do, however, reserve the right to continue funding state education through our taxes, whilst not availing ourselves of all its services.

what a weird defensive thread!

headlesshorseman the OP can rave about her son's private school if she wants to!

I object however to the suggestion (which might be read and believed by people with no experience of schools at all) that state schools generally do not have residential trips, for example.

Many do, surely. Certainly IME (limited of course to the schools attended by my DC and DC of friends and acquaintances!)

I totally agree with seekers earlier comment re bullying.

DS1 goes to a private school and when we joined ( and every year since) the school lay out their bullying policy.

As they say.. any school who claim there is no bullying are either stupid or hiding it.

Every school has incidents of bullying. The acid test is how vigorouslythey confront it and the steps they take to prevent and minimize it.

I would run a mile from a school that claimed 'no bullying'.

This thread is about one school. Thread title is ridiculous and annoying

it sounds to me like you're happy that your private school treats its duty of care quite lightly

OP,

Tuck is ingrained in the culture of traditional schools. As a teacher, I despair of large amounts (shoe boxes!), but it is fairly normal for children to convince their parents that this is the expectation. I always make the mistake of being on a diet during these residentials so never get to 'confiscate' for my own purposes.

Trading tuck is great fun and brings out lots of negotiation skills.

We usually plan for £5 per day spending money which is absolutely ample. Most kids will come home with change that they will keep secret form their parents. If you have only a pound or two, then you are talking about jsut getting the usual pencil and rubber and not anything particularly unique or memorable.

Maisie....so your house is bigger or cost more thaan mine does that make you elitist?

I think that food swapping is banned in some schools simply because they have children who have severe allergies. My nephew's primary school banned children from taking peanut butter snadwiches in because they had a pupil with a severe peanut allergy.

The state primary schools round here are so good that no-one sends their children to private school until age 11

It makes it sound as if there is such a thing as a general private school and a general state school whereas you can't possibly generalise. They are all totally different. As soon as someone says 'a private school does this' someone will give and example of one that does the opposite-and the same with state schools.

in my children's primary state school they had a year 5 and a year 6 residential trip

they learnt french, italian and had a term of mandarin

and they all learned the recorder

it's the school

Exactly activate-mine did Latin in year 6 in a state primary-it is utterly ridiculous to lump them together.

And I just do not believe tha there are schools anywhere where children are not allowed to run.

I had a parent once who tried to get me to stop her son running at school ("He's not allowed to run at home, so..")

But that's just a bonkers parent - schools don't do that, I'm sure.

No, am with you, seeker - that was just a by the by.

seeker / Feenie

I am not making it up. No running was allowed on hard playground surfaces and no footballs were allowed at all, anywhere, in case:

1. Someone got hurt.
2. It caused rows / arguments.

It's not very nice of you to say you dont believe it - do you know everything about every state primary in the Country?

actually at my DD's old school (state) they were not allowed to run either. It was a school rule and it was a very large primary.

I think food swapping is really poor table manners - I can't bear it when people sit down to eat and the children all start clamouring for bits from other people's plates, then there's a big passing around and swapping, rather than just sitting and eating your own meal.

I am surprised that any school would encourage it.