What questions to ask at meeting with teacher about ds not wanting to go to school

[dietqueen]

In Y1 says it is hard and he's finding the move from recep to Y1 very hard, cries most mornings.

Have a meeting with class teacher to discuss.
DS says writing is hard, doesnt have much time to finish work, hates numbers etc..
I want to know if this is normal, how I can help him at home etc..

Any pointers on what else I should be asking.

anyone?

i think all you can do is explain the behaviours as you see them, and ask teacher how you and she can work together to boost his confidence and help him settle.

I think a lot of year R children struggle when they move up to the more regimented Y1. It can knock a kids self confidence drastically, especially if their friends have settled well.

1. How is he in the class?

2. Are you (teacher) aware that he is this unenthusiastic about school? - tell them about how he tells you he hates numbers etc.

3. Is he OK with friends / on the playground?

4. What is the pattern of the day? IME Y1 still use child initiated, so it is a step towards more formal education etc, but still has a lot of play elements.

5. Have you noticed he hates...? (similar to Q1)

6)What can I do to help him at home / come to school more comfortably?

7. When can we have a follow up meeting to make sure he's ok in future and we work together to fix this?

Is he reluctant when you get him to the gate / classroom or is he OK by then? My friends dd always objects until she gets to the gate and then runs off with her friends.

Good luck, it's horrid when they're not happy at school.

thanks for replying I was beginning to get very down about this. Some really great suggestions and great ways of making this a two way discussion and like the idea of lets review this.

it starts off in the morning getting dressed - I dont want to go to school. Playground face lights up when sees friends, run round, laughing, chasing. We then line up and it starts - clingy, we are allowed to go into school/classroom (but teacher did say f we can let them do it themselves that would be better but not a problem. Classroom I help him put his things away then steer him towards the carpet thats when he cries and says he doesnt want me to go. I kiss, cuddle then walk out usually the teacher or TA engages him into a job to do and I think he is ok. I never dwell on it when I pick him up.

I really, really do think hope it's the transition to more formal structure. He is bright and can tell you about absolutely anything about everything! has good self confidence (loves show and tell) but when it comes to putting this down on paper, within a time limit etc.. I think he struggles.

The teacher however is very stern, strict and he hates shouting, however I have approached whether or not its the teacher and he says no he likes her but not when she shouts

Can you ask if he's settled once you go, as I know that can be a worry or maybe that's just me...

Also how much of his work does he get finished as he may just perceive he's not getting enough done IYSWIM.

Meeting is the way to go. IME teachers generally prefer to know if there's a problem as they're on your and your dcs side and want them to get the most possible out of their education.

Good Luck - let us know how it goes. Clingy is tough!

Oh - what's his pen grip like. My DC1 had a crap rubbish pen grip and used to get annoyed, but my SIL (Reception Teacher) sorted it out one summer and she found the writing much easier then.

Yes will ask that as well Im writing these down so I dont forget and get side tracked.

Pen grip is ok...well I think.

The class is very top heavy with girls (onyl 9 boys out of 24) and he has commented that most of the girls write fast and write lots and lots!

Will get it sorted and now feel a little more positive with my list of 2 way questions

They might write fast - but it could be a load of old garbage

Tough to have so few boys, they like to play together and seem to understand each other IYKWIM.

hi, i totally relate to you as my son is resisting going to primary school and clingy is an understatement. He has given all sorts of reasons including being tired, not wanting to write a lot, being shy, not wanting to talk or answer questions...

Today it dawned on me that perhaps he has difficultly writing, or that he is using the wrong hand, he's very bright but has always had some difficulty holding a pen 'correctly'...
It also occurred to me that a lot of the kids mums are writing about not accepting school in this forum are intelligent children and they simply find the regimented, repetitive approach just boring and debilitating!

These kids obviously learn easily and quickly so a schol environment isnt very suitable, so they need just as much help and attention as a child with SEN...

Today he stayed 10 mins without us in the class (i small victory for us) lets hope it lasts!

ps we asked the head to give him appropriate work for his level especially in maths as he is 2 yrs ahead of kids his age.
Having to learn lots of same stuff which he already knows means he thinks he knows everything - so, as he says - why should he go to school!
The teacher gave him a higher grade's work this morning so im sure this helped as it also gave him something to think about and take attention away from us and home...
Of course its a private school (we live abroad) and the state school we tried before this one weren't willing or in a position to give him the extra attention.