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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

I'm really not being rude but what is the point of parents' evening?

67 replies

dontstart · 13/10/2010 20:51

I support the school in everything I can and turn up to everything they organise. DH and I usually arrange it so we can both go to parent's eve.

But, after 4 years of it, for 2 DC I don't think I can honestly say anything worthwhile has come from it. They generally tell us things we already know, DS reads well, but struggles to keep focused etc. They never have any specific action to propose, for the school, parents or DSs.

I'm sure it's a drag for the teachers, so why do they do it? Is it just because it's expected/they have to for OFSTED or do other parents find it more useful?

OP posts:

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BOOamireally · 13/10/2010 20:54

I have been told by a teacher friend that there is no real point to them as for 90% of the kids you end up saying the same stuff but if you don't go you get pegged down as 'Don't give a toss Mum' (should add that to the stereotypes thread??)

catnipkitty · 13/10/2010 21:17

Our parents evening is tomorrow and the teachers have been preparing for weeks which has involved supply teachers being drafted in to cover them as they prepare and my DDs are forever coming home with tales of random supplies who don't seem to have a clue. Waste of time in my opinion, I'd rather the teachers just get on with teaching.

veryweirdteacher · 13/10/2010 21:24

OMG- things have changed Supply teachers to cover prep for PE's! Quite a while since i was in schools, but it sounds like a doddle now.

DreamTeamGirl · 13/10/2010 22:00

Well obviously for you there is no point!!!!

On the other hand, I find them useful to know how he is doing, and what I can do to help him.

Why bother going??

ragged · 13/10/2010 22:07

Welllllll.... in my case I hope to hear something good about DS actual work because most of our At-The-Door conversations are about his behaviour :( .

Then I'll trot off to hear about DD (who normally gets a glowing review) so is a nice thing to look forward to, especially if DS's chat has any painful surprises!

amistillsexy · 13/10/2010 22:15

Just come back from ours...no news that I couldn't have predicted, and , as you said, don'tstart, no actions to follow up the problems/difficulties. I pointed out that my son (with sensory processing difficulties) recently explained that reading from a lit screen makes the words flicker like a candle, but from paper he seems ok. She told me to take him to an optitian!
I did them as a teacher (no, no prep time here either!), and really tried to come up with 3 positives and a target for each child, usually in two areas (ie behaviour, maths, literacy, etc), and to give parents specific pointers and ways of helping their DCs. I even went so far as to produce little 'support packs' of tips, ideas and games to play to help that target at home.
(But then, I had no Dcs of my own at the time, so spent all my time working!)

cat64 · 13/10/2010 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

meltedmarsbars · 13/10/2010 22:18

Er, so I can say "and what are you doing about that?" to each of their complaints about my dc's!!!

pointydog · 13/10/2010 22:25

I have always liked going along. That's enough reason for me. Ten minutes of my life, 20 minutes a year

I don't know any school that pays for supply to allow for preparation.

cat64 · 13/10/2010 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

upahill · 13/10/2010 22:30

The school always arranges the parents evening for a Thursday night which is a time I always work. I used to book a few hours off for it but for the last few years I have said I am not available and gone in a few days later when it is convienient to both me and the teacher and it has been so much better. I have had about 25 mins chatting time and found out much more about my son and ways that we can help him and how the school are helping him as well as having a few amusing stories told about things he has said and done.

cuppatino · 13/10/2010 22:34

Supply teachers to cover for preparation! I don't think so. Are you sure they weren't referring to PPA time?
I'm certainly not getting any time to prepare, I'm giving up two evenings this year for parents eve and I'm part time.

EvilTwins · 13/10/2010 22:36

Because if schools didn't organise them, you'd all be complaining about having no information from schools about your DCs.

Because you can't expect the class teacher to give you information about your DCs ad hoc whenever you want it without an appointment.

Because it's useful for the teachers to meet the parents and open up a dialogue about your child.

Because it's important for teachers to be able to build up a relationship with parents and vice versa.

Because it gives teachers an opportunity to discuss both good points and points for improvement with you and to develop some strategies for enabling your child to get the most out of school.

Because it gives parents the opportunity to raise any issues they may have at a time when the teacher is specifically focussing on you and your DC.

Bit about why you would need to ask, TBH.

Lotkinsgonecurly · 13/10/2010 22:38

op - are you sure we don't have the same child. Exactly the same was said about ds.

teacherspet33 · 13/10/2010 22:55

In my experience I come away knowing no more than before I went. It's a bit like (I imagine) talking to a politician!

I wouldn't miss it though...just incase I actually find out something about my dd I didn't already know!

UnquietDad · 13/10/2010 23:01

I'd rather the teachers talked to us more, and didn't just, after a few pleasantries, read out what they have in front of them. "Okay, so what I've said here is, DD is generally well-behaved and keen to answer questions in class..." etc. Often with a finger following the words on the page as she reads them. I kid you not.

Oh, and I don't want to know how my children doing in comparison to some spurious "average", I want to know how well they have progressed personally.

EvilTwins · 13/10/2010 23:05

So this is to be a no-holds-barred teacher bashing thread is it? We can't win can we. We schedule in times to meet with parents, and you don't want it. We prepare for parents' evenings by making notes about studets, and get accused of not knowing them well enough to discuss them without reading out what we've written.

I can just imagine the thread for any school which decides to ditch parents' evenings completely.

If they're such a waste of time, don't go. Leave it to parents who do see the value of these things.

piscesmoon · 13/10/2010 23:06

I think they are essential-both from the parents and the teachers point of view. Education is a partnership and you can't work together if you don't talk to each other! Be specific-ask the questions that you want answered-and keep on until you get satisfaction. As a parent I also want to know how to help and as a teacher I want to know if the parent is going to be helpful.

piscesmoon · 13/10/2010 23:07

Generally the very parents that you really want to see are the ones who never turn up.

Goblinchild · 13/10/2010 23:12

'I have had about 25 mins chatting time'
25 minutes x 32 children, that's around 13 hours of talking to parents.
I don't make notes and do just talk about the child, some parents like that. My head doesn't because he likes everything written down that you are going to say.

piscesmoon · 13/10/2010 23:18

I never know what I am going to say-it all depends on the parent. (I have a few notes and know the DC well) It is a conversation- 2 way -so you can't know exactly where it will go. If I was just going to speak from prepared notes it would be largely a waste of time.

magicmummy1 · 13/10/2010 23:18

I really value the parents' evenings - went to one for dd this evening. I was really impressed with how well the teacher knew her after just a few weeks, and I felt that the feedback was very specific and personalised. I love having that regular opportunity to talk about she is doing!

And apart from anything else, parents' evening is a chance for parents to thank the teachers in person for all they do to support our children - I think my dd's teacher is fantastic, and it was nice to have an opportunity to tell her so!

upahill · 13/10/2010 23:19

Goblinchild
''I have had about 25 mins chatting time'
25 minutes x 32 children, that's around 13 hours of talking to parents.'

I (unintentionaly) get that time because I have one to one with the teacher a few days after the official parents evening. Like I said in my post I work the nights the school call the parents evening so I make arrangements for another date.

I have found that the teacher is more relaxed and not rushing anywhere and will have a conversation with me rather than 'ticking boxes'

Goblinchild · 13/10/2010 23:51

' If I was just going to speak from prepared notes it would be largely a waste of time.'

nah, you could just email them to parents and save everyone's time.

Virtual parents evenings and no overrunning?
We could alternate between little Jocasta's reading level and mumsnet.

upahill · 13/10/2010 23:59

Goblinchild you have lost me.
You used part of my post and followed that with the ' I don't make notes.....'

I'm tired, drunk and fed up and have lost the point somewhere.

For the record I don't mind parents evening even though I can't always make the primary school ones but make arrangements to have a meeting and make sure there are no hiccups and any problems can be nipped in the bud and that I have an overview of what is happening that paticular term.

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