I'm really not being rude but what is the point of parents' evening?

[dontstart]

I support the school in everything I can and turn up to everything they organise. DH and I usually arrange it so we can both go to parent's eve.

But, after 4 years of it, for 2 DC I don't think I can honestly say anything worthwhile has come from it. They generally tell us things we already know, DS reads well, but struggles to keep focused etc. They never have any specific action to propose, for the school, parents or DSs.

I'm sure it's a drag for the teachers, so why do they do it? Is it just because it's expected/they have to for OFSTED or do other parents find it more useful?

I frequently lose myself, so I wouldn't worry if I've muddled you upahill.
I like talking to parents. I dislike paperwork and notes, I know the children in my class well enough to chat for 10 mins or 25.
If there's a problem, we've usually made contact way before parents' evening to work out what to do.

Goblinchild {grin] you may find me rambling on another thread losing even myself!!!!

You mean Jareth's fish finger thread?
Strange and stranger and then at the far end of odd is the Goblin King.

Oh I really like them. Apart from anything else, I learn stuff as DS tells me nothing and he behaves very differently ( much better ) at school. Its like hearing comments about his imaginary good twin.

I can't bear talking to the teacher amongst loads of other parents in the rush of pick up or collection, and I'm sure they don't like it much either. So if there's anything I want to ask or flag, then I do it at parents evening. Isn't this the point of it?

This year I have a few niggles as he's in an odd class, but I wouldn't want to make a big deal of the questions by asking them at the school door, I'll use the opportunity of parents evening to raise them.

I remember that parents evenings would always end in us getting a present (usually a book) for being good, if there were problems, my parents would go in on another day to an arranged appointment. I remember it being more of a social occaision tbh, and a chance to show off if your work was on the wall etc.

I'm not bothered by them. I go. I dont find them useful. Thyey say things like DS is very good at reading well ahead of expectations, etc.

Yes, thank you, I know that.

What thy never say and I have had to repeatedly organise specal meetings to tackle is how my DS is being held back in class because they are going at a snails pace and they are not teaching him what he needs to know to pass entrance exams in January.

I am in fact the parent from hell.

Since I work as a full time primary teacher, it will be one of only two opportunities I will get to meet/speak with my ds's teacher, so for me it will be incredibly useful. Am a bit that I will only get 5 minutes though, our parents get 10.

We have several parents who have rumbled the system can never make Wed or Thurs (3.30 till 6.00) and who make separate appointments, expecting half an hour of my time instead of parents' evening. Very nice for them, another 4 hours on top of two parents' evenings for me. Doesn't seem very fair to other parents if they consistently claim they cannot make these times - not sure I believe this genuinely happens to 8 parents per year group.

The nice thing about our parents evenings is that they put out the childrens trays full of work, so you actually get to see the evidence of how they are doing.Then you have a bit of a chat, and it is encouraging when you can tell that the teacher actually "Knows" your child.
I would like to be told more clearly where DS stands in relation to his peers, but I am too polite to ask directly. In our school, they seem to be pretty open if your child needs is getting extra help, but much cagier about the more able ones. If you are thinking of trying for selective schools, you do need to know, otherwise it could mean a lot of pressure and upset for nothing.

Just re-read that, and I don't mean anyone gets help they don't need, but I suspect the school only tell you about problems if they actually have resources to intervene.

I am waiting to go for mine, and am really looking forward to it !
But this is my first in this school, and I hope the teacher gives a prepared, personalised opinion..

well said eviltwins The parents and the school need to have time to communicate and work together for the benefit of the child's education and welfare. There would be a lot of upset if parents evenings were suddenly cancelled. No-one has to go!

I think if your child is spending 190 days with someone other than you, it is just good manners to meet with that other person who has care of your child.

If the teacher is telling you all the stuff you already know about your DC, open up another dialogue with them.

Ask how the teacher is finding the class. Are they enjoyable to teach? What does s/he have planned for them? Tell the teacher what your child is particularly enjoying or not enjoying about the new term.

Education is a partnership.

Be more proactive.

Don't sit there wetly waiting for the teacher to tell you stuff you already know. Give the teacher some feedback 'DC loved the tudor project'... '

If you go with that attitude then there is a point.

If you go with the attitude of a recalcitrant teen, there under duress or a kind of 'oh gosh, this all so beneath me' air then yes, it probably is. Completely pointless.

And you would do well to heed the words of the finest heads of all schools. 'You will get a lot out of this school. Make sure you put a lot back in.'

Was that Dumbledore Merrylegs?

A teacher friend of mine says it is the very parents that she most needs to talk to who never turn up.

Dumbledore? No the wise Miss Grayling of course.

From memory now 'I count as our successes as those who are strong women who the world can lean on' or something like that. Miss Theobald also had similar views I believe...

Merrylegs - I am not sure how you got the recalcitrant teen impression from the OP's posts. It seems like you have treated her rather unfairly.

Ahhh, havent read Mallory Towers in 30 odd years. rereading Chalet books right now tho

Yes, twas Miss Grayling of course!

(And in the interests of being fair, because Darrell always was a good egg, I wasn't specifically addressing the OP in my 'teen' point, but rather the attitude prevalent in some posters that they will learn nothing from parent's evening - the 'OK I'm here but you're telling me nothing new' attitude.')

Apologies for not making that clearer.

Must Try Harder.

Education is a parent teacher partnership. So parents need to meet the teachers for it to be as effective as possible.

chalet books, that brings back fond memories

Chalet School books are the way forward!

They tell you what they know - ie how you're child is doing, his strength and weaknesses. IME if they are worried about something they will speak to you before parents' evening. And it's up to you to ask or bring up any issues that concern you over and above what the teacher tells you.

I find them helpful - like someone else said, its a time to hear about how your dc is doing generally, whereas you are only going to be called in / make an appointment to see the teacher about a specific problem.

JoBettany but then you would say that