I'm really not being rude but what is the point of parents' evening?

[dontstart]

I support the school in everything I can and turn up to everything they organise. DH and I usually arrange it so we can both go to parent's eve.

But, after 4 years of it, for 2 DC I don't think I can honestly say anything worthwhile has come from it. They generally tell us things we already know, DS reads well, but struggles to keep focused etc. They never have any specific action to propose, for the school, parents or DSs.

I'm sure it's a drag for the teachers, so why do they do it? Is it just because it's expected/they have to for OFSTED or do other parents find it more useful?

I have found that they've concentrated on ds's behaviour - he is quite disruptive. We deal with it, they deal with it, we all know about it and nobody's slacking. Not to diminish it (it's important) but we could talk about other things.

I'd quite like to know how he is getting on academically, how they are teaching things to him so we can back them up, what they think his strengths and weaknesses are.

I decided I'm going to the next one with a list of questions. [nightmare parent]

Absolutely DTC!

I've just had DS1's parents evening (he's just gone in YR5) and I can assure you it was VERY worthwhile.

Last term his school reported indicated that he was a negative slide downwards, he was becoming disruptive in class and not doing as well as he could do.

I met his new teacher today and she's bloody marvelous imo, and was able to tell me that he wasn't in the slightest bit disruptive this term, and able to tell me where he needs extra help and support.

But if he is disruptive, Unprune, then it probably stops him learning. Therefore they are quite likely to focus on that first.

Dunno

I like the parent's evening - although my children are still in the infant school, we at least manage to see the teacher and see their classwork books and classroom, which we would never normally see.

Also, my husband doesn't do the daily pick ups and activities at the school - it is also a time for him to meet the teacher and see the school for himself.

Any teacher willingly giving up their own time to talk to parents should be supported.

Ours has been limited to five minutes; both the chidlren at teh school ahve an IEP meeting that is longer so I now say forget it and skip.
Esp. since they are all now held ebfore Dh gets home (nobody allowed to book after 4.30) so I have all 4 with me.

I;d rather be labelled crap Mum, TBH

I know what it's like, Unprune.

I have notes to hand - rarely use them, mainly just for me to scrawl things on to follow up when back in school. It's often very basic things I want to double check up on - daft stuff like "we've got a bit muddled about whether he does or doesn't need to wear his glasses for PE" - silly things like that that might escape your mind when it's a 2 second job to ask it in person and get a straight answer! Generally my notes are a verbal crutch in case you get parents coming in who DON'T have anything that they want to start a conversation with - so I can start with things like their current targets and develop a discussion from there (not everyone comes in with lists or rankling sets of ongoing problems they want to let rip about by the way). I prefer the ones where we leave books out to discuss to be honest - because they're an obvious starting point and sometimes a source of massive mutual giggles at some of things they've written about life at home!

I also have things like my assessment files for those who WANT to know things like targets, current levels, how they're doing in spelling tests - some parents don't want their time filled up with data talk, some want figures to base things on. I'd rather have stuff to hand than have to rely on my memory and winging it.

I also used to end up spending about a week either side of parents evening slotting in ones who can't make the evening in question or who don't show because things come up - I'm about as flexible as it's possible to be, the cheek of having my own life considered.

What's not acceptable, and what can make teachers absolutely hate parents evenings is the way we get treated - I've been screamed at before, and I've seen a colleague subjected to a 25 minute barrage of abuse, threats and harrassment over a lost pair of PE shorts - it literally ended up with this woman 2 inches from my colleague's face screaming at her. It's why many schools have started getting year group teachers to pair up and share a room for consultations - to cover us against that sort of thing and why the heads often do the run delivering cups of coffee - so there's another body around to back up if such a thing is needed.

I never minded them though - but your throat is knackered by the end of a three hour stint of talking constantly. Of course - far be it for us to get in the way of a good teacher-bash... I make notes to read them so I don't have to know the kids I spend every day with, I rabidly hate all children, and I'm out of the door at 3pm and only went into the job for the holidays.

Good post emptyshell.

WEll I'm not teacher bashing - I only met DS1's new teacher for the first time today, but I absolutely love her already. I am now feeling 200% more confident (sorry I know MNers in general hate %'s over 100 ) about DS1 and how he will get on in his final 2yrs at Junior school.

I honestly can't remember which of my DS's teachers over the years have had notes and which ones haven't. I know they usually have a note when a different teacher takes them for aone particular subject, but I couldn't tell you if they had notes for thmeselves or not.

TBH it wouldn't bother me if they did. If I'd spent all day with a class of 30 excitable children, and then had to sit down and talj about every single child and make sure I didn't mix a single one up, or miss out any points then I'd probably have notes too.

I generally can't even get the right child of my own when talking about them after a long tiring day

But feenie we deal with it at other times. As I said, we are all aware and all dealing with it. Therefore saying it again is redundant.
He is learning - it's obvious. I'd like to know how! I don't think that's unreasonable.

Fair enough.

I like parents' evening. It was good to meet ds' teacher and see his classroom, get her take on his lack of progress about writing (like me she thinks it'll happen when it happens) - I really appreciated the time taken to do it, and the opportunity to look at his books etc.

Is it likely to be a revelation? No. (At least if it was, you'd be like: my god, my child is a virtuoso piano player and I never knew?). But I'd worry if I didn't know ds' teacher and I shared similar views on his progress. I like to go to the school and see the artwork, and the books they are reading, and all that stuff. The school works really hard, e.g. ties with schools in South Africa, celebrations of all the languages spoken by pupils, etc. They should be celebrated by the parents - particularly given it's a Surestart Centre and thus doomed. :(

Just back from DS's. It was very good.

He is in an odd class, separated from his friends, and mainly learning stuff a year ahead. His teacher has one of the worst reputations in the school.

We came away feeling that she had the measure of him, is going to stretch him accordingly rather than letting him coast, she answered all our concerns about the curriculum and his socialisation with his peers ( who are mainly in a different class ) and hey, she came across as knowing her kids, her job, taking it seriously, being calm and in control.

Its really put my mind at rest. :)

We get a lot out of parent's evenings (Yr3) starting with the chance to read DD's books/art etc before we go in.

Of course the teacher has to refer to some notes as DD is with other specialist teachers for about half her subjects.

The class teachers have always been most informative, not only about how DD is getting on but what she can expect in the way of future lessons, sports, after school activities, trips - the sort of stuff that DD may have been told but has never passed on!

It also gives us a chance to raise subjects that DD is too nervous to mention directly such as in Yr 2 when she was struggling to see the whiteboard from the angle of her desk. Something that was easily rectified.

We are appreciative that the teachers give up a few hours on 2 nights to help us.

I also think that parents evening is a good thing. It is always nice to see our DSs' work, which normally gives us a good idea how they are doing. I feel a bit sorry for the teachers as they usually seem shattered when we see them (second day - later appointment). In the six years we have been going I have become more proactive and thought about questions I want to ask, which then makes it more into a dialogue rather than the teacher reading out his list.