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Original poster

Mums with girls, why do you look "down" at boys and their mums?

60 replies

dietqueen · 12/10/2010 13:07

The playground this morning was full of tuts,raised eyebrows and ushering DD away whislt the boys let of steam before a day of
school.

It's becoming more and more apparent that the Mum's of girls are standing one side of the playground the boys mums the other side. Even the Mums nights out seem to be only the Mums of girls

Party invitations have also gone out today and only girls invited...I understand that this divide does happen but I heard the mother saying "thank God im only having girls I couldnt bare a party with boys invited". I felt very hurt.

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RunforFun · 12/10/2010 13:10

I think you are a bit over sensitive tbh.

I dont think any one really looks down on mums of boys do they ... unless they are incredibly tall

MumInBeds · 12/10/2010 13:11

I've really not found this, but then I have a quiet protogeek son and livewire gregarious daughter.

Hulababy · 12/10/2010 13:12

I have just one DD and don't look donwn on boys or mums of boys.

I probably find girls easier in that that is my experience and I am used to having a girl and all that. But then we know some little boys and they are lovely.

DD loves to play out with the couple of boys who are on out street and my little godson is adorable.

We don't have the playground thing as DD is at a girl's school, but haven't noticed this particulalry at the school I work at or at the school I collect my friend's children from.

I guess the playground thing could be from the mums knowing each other better through more after school stuff and parties maybe?

The boy only and girl only parties do happen a fair bit though IME from being in a Y1 class.

Not sure why you have such a mums of girls only divide but though. IME it isn't the norm in playgrounds/

Bucharest · 12/10/2010 13:15

I don't.

But with sweeping statements like yours, I'm likely to start. Hmm

Acinonyx · 12/10/2010 13:17

I do girls-only parties and the only reason is to keep the numbers down otherwise the house is too small (still too small really) and dd always wants parties at home. I imagine this is a common tactic.

In groups, I find girls do tend to play with girls although one on one dd will play just as well with a boy. If the kids don't play together then the mums will tend to segregate along the same lines.

GoodnightNobody · 12/10/2010 13:17

'Mums with girls, why do you look "down" at boys and their mums?'

I don't.

Never seen it happen.

My girls & their friends are the ones running around chasing the boys Grin.

ragged · 12/10/2010 13:17

I'm with you OP, this crap does go on.
And I say that as someone who has one girl as well as 3 boys!

SixtyFootDoll · 12/10/2010 13:18

I've never come across this( i have 2 ds's)

THink you are being oversensitive

LostArt · 12/10/2010 13:18

How odd. This doesn't happen at my DC school, or at least I haven't noticed it. But I have perfected the art of reaching school just as the gates open.

I am dreading DS next party, though. 5 year old boys charging around and throwing up everywhere. What's not to love?

Original poster
dietqueen · 12/10/2010 13:20

The mums are a very clicky bunch and I seriously dont think they realise they are doing it and I think if it were pointed out which I fear is coming from one of the Mums I think it may make thems it up and think.

Glad to know there are some thoughtful ones of you out there!

OP posts:
newbiemumof3 · 12/10/2010 13:25

In my opinion, mothers of boys often give boys a very bad press indeed and mums of girls start to believe it.
I have 3 girls but when pregnant with number 2 and 3, both my closest friends who have boys only would say"ha ha - just you wait until you have a boy - then you'll realise how easy you have got it." In the end they did start to get to me.When I had 3 girls , mothers of boys would say"oh you are so lucky - you got off lightly" etc etc
My eldest one is nearly 15 and I can assure you that girls are no easier - the troubles just come at different times and in different ways.
We know some lovely boys and my 6 year old daughter has had two invites from boys to parties recently.
However I do find boys get a bad press often from the mothers of boys and perhaps that is where these silly and tactless remarks come from.
Don't let it worry you - not all mums of girls think that way.

flippertyflop · 12/10/2010 13:26

Im a mum of a DD and hands up yes I am a tutter and I do arrange playdays, teas and parties without the boys. I couldnt bare the noise and mess. Girls are sooo very different.

At least I have admitted it Blush

huffythethreadslayer · 12/10/2010 13:29

I have one dd, now nearly 10 (I keep saying 10, but she's not quite there yet) and we have always asked boys to her birthday parties. We have also always had some boys round to play. That's partly because I only had one child and wanted to ensure she had lots and lots of exposure to boys and girls from other families.

The gender thing is definitely kicking in and she now has 2 friends who are boys who come round to play. The rest she'll play with at school, but wouldn't dream of asking them around.

For that reason, mums of girls generally cluster around together in the playground.

I really don't think it's anything personal.

Ime, I would love to have a boy to take home, but was only blessed with a wee girl.

PaisleyPumpkin · 12/10/2010 13:30

I don't see this. DD and her friends are so mixed - boys and girls. The girls run about in the playground (maybe with a bit more shrieking mind you) and they're so far having boys and girls' parties.
We're only up to year 1 though. Maybe as they get older the divide will get bigger as they get involved in more separate interests. I can remember doing cats cradle/french skipping and more tinkering about sort of stuff in the playground at junior school while the boys tore about with a football.

Runoutofideas · 12/10/2010 13:32

I don't feel I "look down" on anyone, however it does irritate me when parents use gender to excuse bad behaviour. ie "Of course he likes thumping people, he's a boy" or "of course they'll fall out and be mean to each other, they're girls". It also irritated me at school this week at a curriculum evening for key stage 1 there were two written references on how to help "reluctant boys" with reading and writing - not "reluctant children", "reluctant boys" - it all runs the risk of being self fulfilling I think.

teacherspet33 · 12/10/2010 13:35

The mums I chat to are the mums of my dd's friends who are girls. I certainly don't look down on mums of boys. I am glad I have girls though!

nancydrewrocked · 12/10/2010 13:39

I have one of each and it does happen.

Lots (not all) mothers of girls simply cannot comprehend the sheer physicality of lots of (not all) boys.

pagwatch · 12/10/2010 13:40

I had two boys for ten years and then I had a girl

While I was the mum of two boys I never once experienced mums of daughters looking down at me, or them.

Just a thought but I wonder if the 'mums' are not looking down oin the gender but the behaviour a particular group of boys are exhibiting

I have had a conversation with one mother who was saying how different her son is from my DD as her son tried to smash DD across the head . It wasn't gender difference it was shit parenting. She was attributing it to the wrong thing

messylittlemonkey · 12/10/2010 13:40

DD1 just started school and she is straight onto to outdoor stuff in the playground, running and climbing!

Not all mums of girls are like the ones at your school, OP! :)

messylittlemonkey · 12/10/2010 13:41

meant to say I have two DDs, no boys!

Poshpaws · 12/10/2010 13:46

I have 3 boys. Have only had one mum of girls make comments about boys in general, but she is odd as a few years later, she was banging on about how much she loves my boys Hmm.

DS1(9) was/is a boisterous boy and when little, was not popular with girls or their mums. Now, they LOVE him and his 'gang' consists of both boys and girls. DS2(5) plays mainly with girls and is always invited to their parties, tea, etc.

DS3 (3) is too young for it to matter.

I LOVE boys - always wanted them, but must admit there are some that are just too full on and they can put you off them in particular. Then again, I am not great with really girly girls, either.

nancydrewrocked · 12/10/2010 13:46

Hmm probably shit parenting on my part then. Can't really deny it given the thread I have just started in behaviour Sad

nameymcnamechange · 12/10/2010 13:50

What do the mums of girls and boys do?

In my NCT group it was the mums of boys who formed their own little breakaway sub-sect. They outnumbered the girl mums, and started having Thomas The Tank Engine themed tea parties so the baby boys could bond together in a macho way.

I was so sad dd was left out (not!).

Sexonlegs · 12/10/2010 13:51

Sorry, but your post op has made me quite cross.

My 2 closest "mum friends" are mums of boys in dd1's class. Everyone mixes regardless of the gender of their child, including nights out.

As for parties, that is determined by dd1 who comes. She had the whole class in year R and gradually the numbers have fallen as she has become closer to fewer people. She had a swim party last time and 3 out of 10 were boys that she likes (she is 7).

JiggeryPopery · 12/10/2010 13:56

I don't like the OP either, or the title.

Is it all mums with girls to which you refer, dietqueen?

I think blanket statements like that are a bit dimwitted and inflammatory.

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