Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

WWYD - DD has to write a prayer for homework and doesn't want to

58 replies

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 16/09/2010 08:27

Let me start by saying, we not Christians, but DD(7) goes to a CofE primary school. This is because we live very rurally and it is the only village school, about a quarter of a mile away. The next nearest three schools are also church schools, in fact the nearest non church school is over 5 miles away.

So please don't anyone wander in going, "Well why send her there if you don't believe in god, let the place go to someone who does, you hypocrite" - we effectively have no choice. We want her to go to the village school with the children she sees every day, and can't afford to drive her 100 miles a week to go to a non-church school.

She has come home telling me her homework is to write a lunchtime prayer. Fine, I said, lets think of everything/everyone we could give thanks to for the food in your lunch - the earth, the sun, the rain, the farmers etc. But DD says she has been told it has to start with the words "Dear God", and she doesn't want to start it like that.

Now I am generally very happy with the school and usually I fully support them on things but tbh I think its pretty unfair to insist every child writes a prayer to a being irrespective of whether they believe in that being or not. DD says she 'doesn't really' believe in a god and I accept that as her decision.

She has been to church services with my parents, and Jewish celebrations with my father's family, and pagan celebrations with us, so its not as if we try to shield her from any religion. My only comment to her on the god issue is that some people believe in a god, I don't, but that everyone can believe what they choose to.

So, should I let her write the prayer without the "Dear God" wording, or should I ask her teacher about it, or should I make her do it anyway?

OP posts:

Ragwort · 16/09/2010 08:32

I think she should do the task she has been set; you knowingly sent her to a CofE school (yes, I understand your reasons but still, you must have respect for the ethics of the school??) and so you must have realised that this sort of thing would happen.

My child attends a Faith school; but not of the faith we are - however we fully go along with all the religious aspects and enjoy sharing a different set of practices.

unclefluffy · 16/09/2010 08:37

I'm an atheist and I went to a C of E primary. I think at that age my mum would have made me encouraged me to write the prayer. It would have been a writing and creative exercise as much as anything else. If she doesn't want it to begin 'Dear God' I wouldn't make her. Not all Christian prayers, even, begin that way. I can easily imagine a teacher telling everyone to begin that way just to get them started, and not because he/she really cared whether it began 'Dear God'. At a C of E school (which DD is likely to attend) I probably wouldn't make an issue of this. Can't say for sure as I'm not there yet, but in that environment I hope I would really pick my battles carefully.

Original poster

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 16/09/2010 08:49

Oh, she will be writing a prayer alright, I wouldn't dream of letting her not do the work at all.

I'm just wondering about the Dear God bit. I don't want her to lose marks for not using it, but if I make her use that wording the task will be clouded by an argument and she won't put the same effort in I suspect.

I do respect the ethics of the school but tbh I think that should work both ways. They surely must know that not every child they teach will be Christian and so its not really fair to make them all address their homework to god. A perfectly good prayer/blessing/whatever can be written woithout the Dear God start!

OP posts:

invisibleink · 16/09/2010 08:53

Just let her write it without it for now. That gets it done.

THEN once it is done just ask her to pop those two words at the front. Explain that you know she doesnt beleive it but that is what the teacher has asked her to do and she will lose marks if it isnt. Just say, nah, wont hurt, just throw those two words in there. Ok done. That wasnt so hard was it! :)

unclefluffy · 16/09/2010 08:59

I wouldn't worry about losing marks unless she will. And if she WILL (as I would have done) she'll be OK with invisible's suggestion! On the other hand, I bet the teacher won't mind a prayer with the 'Dear God' missing. The famous Irish blessing (May the road rise up to greet you etc.) doesn't begin 'Dear God' but it's a perfectly acceptable prayer. (Or am I underestimating the pickiness of teachers...?) Now we're over thinking, I think!

zapostrophe · 16/09/2010 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HowsTheSerenity · 16/09/2010 09:04

Writing the word God will not make her turn into a Christian. It is part of the homework. You sent her to that school. She should do the work. What happens later in life if she has to do something for a job she is morally opposed to?
She does not need to write about God or Jesus or Mary. She can write about the clouds, the animals etc..

werewolf · 16/09/2010 09:05

Could you try to get her to see it as a prayer for other people, therefore it's just a creative writing exercise piece of homework?

Original poster

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 16/09/2010 09:07

invisibleink - why didn't I think of that? [sleep-deprived]

When I was at school our lunchtime blessing was

"Earth who gave to us this food
Sun who made it ripe and good
Dear Sun, dear Earth, by you we live
To you our loving thanks we give"

which I rather like.

OP posts:

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 16/09/2010 09:11

Let her write it without it. It's not like it's a GCSE. Explain to her she might lose a mark or two, let her see decide if her principles are more important?

Let's face it, no test that actually matters is going to dock your DD marks for not believing in god (not these days, anyway )

It's not going to be the last time something like this happens, I imagine, so you might as well decide your approach now.

sethstarkaddersmum · 16/09/2010 09:11

I think you should not force her to put 'dear god' on it and should talk to her about losing marks and the fact that sometimes there is a price to pay for standing up for what you believe in.
and ideally, you also get her to accompany it with a clear and well-written explanation of why she hasn't put 'Dear God'.

Original poster

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 16/09/2010 09:14

I know it won't make her into a Christian

It just seems a bit unnecessary when they could write a perfectly good prayer/call it what you will without the direct address to god. Of course she can write what she likes in the prayer, but the Dear God bit will be incongruous and meaningless if she doesn't believe in a god and isn't directing the thanks to a god.

I am going with invisibleink's suggestion, and will get her to add the Dear God bit after she has written the rest. An exercise in box ticking that will provide a good lesson for life

OP posts:

PatriciaHolm · 16/09/2010 09:31

At that age, I would have refused to do it - I knew from very early that I didn't believe in god and got quite bolshy about it . If she's happy to lose a couple of marks - and you can explain to her that you don't care about it either and you're not going to be upset/annoyed - then I would let her write it as she wants to.

PixieOnaLeaf · 16/09/2010 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ProfYaffle · 16/09/2010 09:41

I agree with Pixie - it doesn't matter than she doesn't believe in God, she's writing a prayer for people who do, like writing a script.

serenity · 16/09/2010 09:42

I'd go along with what invisibleink said, with the proviso that if she still didn't want to put 'Dear God' at the beginning then she didn't have to (it's her work, and if she understands the consequences - that the teacher may mark her down - then that's up to her )

I might not be the right person to comment on this though as I've just had a few words with DS2s class teacher on whether or not he should have the right to refuse to take communion. I think she thought I'd back up their concerted 'persuation' which ended up with him in tears in the church.

PixieOnaLeaf · 16/09/2010 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

strawberrycake · 16/09/2010 09:49

As a teacher I must say I normally suggest openers such as 'Dear God' or 'It was Hamad's first day at school and he saw...' to give the kids somewhere to start, at primary age many find it difficult to start from nothing and need a prompt. I wouldn't read into it.

HowsTheSerenity · 16/09/2010 09:49

I had to go to confession as I was not catholic. I used to make stuff up. It was a part of the school. WE had to go.

If you go to church and take the bread and wine and think it is jesus body and blood then that that is what it becomes (to you in your mind) but if you go and think, oh grea a piece of stale break and some gross sherry that even great aunt bertha wouldnt drink that that is what it is.

whenskiesaregrey · 16/09/2010 09:50

Surely this wont be the last time she has to include 'God' in a piece of work if she is at a CofE school? Therefore, will she refuse to include it each time? I think this would be a good way of teaching that sometimes you have to include certain elements in a piece of work that you don't necessarily agree with, but she can use her own creativity in the rest of the prayer. Surely, if the teacher has asked her to do it as part of the work, you should also support what the teacher has asked?

You could say it is similar to the teacher asking her to write a letter to Father Christmas at Christmas time. If she didn't believe in Father Christmas, then it would still be part of the letter because it is all about being creative, and writing it as though she did believe in Father Christmas? I'd say it was the same with the prayer?

Tippychoocks · 16/09/2010 09:51

Serenity - surely he can't take communion unless he's confirmed anyway? Or am I wildly wrong?

I would agree, tell her to think how a Christian would feel and write it from their perspective. She'll be doing that a lot in English classes later anyway if I remember correctly . If you really want to make it seem more real to her, you could do an exercise at home where she writes a prayer from another point of view or as a Christian in vastly different circumstances - Africa maybe - would pray.What would they pray for? As others said: an exercise in creative writing.

HowsTheSerenity · 16/09/2010 09:53

Tippy - true but I had been confirmed. I would have been the only person not doing it out of my class (was baptised anglican) so Mum said I might as well do it. Otherwise it would have meant being left out a lot during classes.

Tippychoocks · 16/09/2010 09:57

I mean Serenity's DS2 HowstheSerenity, unless you are one and the same and I am even more confused than I thought ?

whenskiesaregrey · 16/09/2010 09:58

Tippy- at our Church they allow you to take communion as long as you have been Baptised, and you have 'God in your heart'. They give bread and grapes for the children, and I take DS up, who is 14 months.

Tippychoocks · 16/09/2010 10:04

Do they really whenskies? I don't take communion myself as I haven't been confirmed (very sporadic churchgoer, once a month and high days)but I have never asked the rules. I just presumed not. But thenn nobody would know either way would they (not that that's the point).
I will have to find out from my church.

Sorry, hijack over

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread