WWYD - DD has to write a prayer for homework and doesn't want to

[QueenOfFlamingEverything]

Let me start by saying, we not Christians, but DD(7) goes to a CofE primary school. This is because we live very rurally and it is the only village school, about a quarter of a mile away. The next nearest three schools are also church schools, in fact the nearest non church school is over 5 miles away.

So please don't anyone wander in going, "Well why send her there if you don't believe in god, let the place go to someone who does, you hypocrite" - we effectively have no choice. We want her to go to the village school with the children she sees every day, and can't afford to drive her 100 miles a week to go to a non-church school.

She has come home telling me her homework is to write a lunchtime prayer. Fine, I said, lets think of everything/everyone we could give thanks to for the food in your lunch - the earth, the sun, the rain, the farmers etc. But DD says she has been told it has to start with the words "Dear God", and she doesn't want to start it like that.

Now I am generally very happy with the school and usually I fully support them on things but tbh I think its pretty unfair to insist every child writes a prayer to a being irrespective of whether they believe in that being or not. DD says she 'doesn't really' believe in a god and I accept that as her decision.

She has been to church services with my parents, and Jewish celebrations with my father's family, and pagan celebrations with us, so its not as if we try to shield her from any religion. My only comment to her on the god issue is that some people believe in a god, I don't, but that everyone can believe what they choose to.

So, should I let her write the prayer without the "Dear God" wording, or should I ask her teacher about it, or should I make her do it anyway?

And, speaking as an atheist who sent his children to a CofE school because it was at the top of the road and walkable, while the nearest non-CofE school was three miles away, sometimes you just have to go along. Atheism is a clear understanding that there is no God; in which case, starting a prayer (which is meaningless) with "Dear God" (who doesn't exist) is hardly a problem, is it? It's like atheists who make a show of not singing the nice songs at weddings: if you believe they're meaningless, then it's a meaningless gesture and the tunes are nice. If you believe they are invested with mystic power that will harm your soul, then you aren't very atheist, are you?

Atheists investing the words of the church with Magic Powers are as nutty as Christians who think Harry Potter will lead their children astray. Nuttier, in a sense, because at least the Christians are already onboard with the supernatural, whereas to an atheist they (should) just be words on a page.

"D enjoyed considering what she was thankful for, and writing the prayer, but has chosen not to include the words 'Dear God' as this does not fit in with her personal beliefs. Hope this is acceptable. Please feel free to ring me and discuss. Many Thanks!"

You'd look like a loon, desperate to make a point. If you're fifteen, and trying to upset your parents with your modish ideas you got out of the NME, then this sort of thing is as unacceptable as black eyeliner. But for adults? Really, who cares?

The work she did was beautifully done, she illustrated it with sun/rain/vegetables and the like

There is no desperation to make a point, and I do not imbue the word god with any magical powers. I simply think it is rather ridiculous to insist that children (or anyone for that matter) say it when they don't mean it, and I personally am not about to try and force my DD to address thanks for her lunch to a being she doesn't believe in. She has written a lovely prayer thanking the things she believes are responsible for her lunch. They are the earth, sun, and rain.

I don't really see why we should just 'go along' with unnecessary stuff like that. It was hardly crucial to the actual content of the prayer.

Schools, even faith ones, are there for the benefit of our children and their education. They are not doing us some huge favour by agreeing to educate our heathen children! Who, as kim147 says, shouldn't be made to pay lip-service to things that they don't believe are true.

I do indeed get a bit "militant" on this issue on occasion. I had hoped to bring up my children to explore what they believed, without pressure to assent (or pretend to assent) to any one system of belief. I don't expect them to be atheists, I don't want them to be just to please their parents. I want them to make their own minds up in their own time.

But we have found this hard when my children are being actively evangelised from three different sources (and I am under no illusions about the deliberate nature of evangelism, I grew up in evangelical Christian circles). I wanted to bring up freethinkers, I find that the children are being put under pressure to become Christians.

It is bringing out my inner Richard Dawkins, indeed.

"But we have found this hard when my children are being actively evangelised from three different sources "

The evangelical posturing of my daughters' primary school left them, in Year 7, with something between disinterest and contempt for Christianity, which has not changed since. I couldn't have done a better job of spreading atheism myself. The school I went to was not dissimilar, and it didn't convince me for a second.

I always think that parents who worry that their children's school is going to distort their thinking into the paths of wickedness have limited faith in their children. If your morals and values are so weak that a primary school headmaster is going to dislodge them in your child's mind, you've got bigger problems than the school. Yes, there probably are schools operating Bourne Ultimatum style cult programming. But they aren't the CofE place down your road. They sing a bit, they pray a bit, it's all pretty watered down, so what?

I don't like Lilly Allen much, but I was happy to clap along to her set at Glastonbury without feeling the need to buy a CD afterwards, and I didn't find myself needing to shout "This is all bollocks, I'm just waiting for Neil Young's set!" How is religion in schools different? If schools could inculcate reading with the same efficiency that people worry about them inculcating religion, there would be no-one with literacy problems.

are there any non faith schools in ther uk??? Please tell me where? Although we are OK at the mpoment, headmaster not much into religion either.

My eldest one who is in a state school is actually telling me every day that she believes in God and loves him and that is THE truth!!!
And I am a sworn atheist.

I so agree with Formerdiva, she really hit the nail on the head.

I think that is is neither here or there that it is a CofE school to be honest, my dd goes to a school run by the LA, not CofE, and I was surprised to hear that they pray at the end of each day (lots of kids of all and no religions attend that school). Ultimately it is just part of life and we (including our kids) have to learn to put up with things they don't necessarily agree with in a tactful manner.