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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Reception and homework, very upset ds

86 replies

rebl · 09/09/2010 20:43

I posted the other day about reading words that are being sent home. My poor ds is in bed crying his eyes out over these words. Yesterday he just didn't "get it" with his words. 3 words were sent home yesterday. Today he's been sent home with those 3 words and 2 more. He got them out himself to do but started crying straight away saying it was too hard. So I said it didn't matter, we would do them tomorrow as he was tired and he cried even more saying he was meant to learn the words . The poor boy can't even retain what the 5 words are let alone read them. He's been crying on and off all evening about these words . Crying about school being so hard . He's in bed crying now and refusing to sleep saying he needs to learn his words. We've tried getting them back out but he then just cries that he can't read them. The poor boy is just 4 and he's deaf. This isn't a good start. I don't understand why they're piling the pressure on so soon, he's only done 4 half days and we're at this already.

OP posts:

MarketingMania · 09/09/2010 20:45

terrible

dont know what to say but so sorry you are going through thisx

ninah · 09/09/2010 20:46

speak to his teacher in the morning, I am sure s/he won't want this

undercovamutha · 09/09/2010 20:48

Speak to the teacher asap and get her to (kindly) put his mind at rest.

My DD (also just 4) has just started in reception this week, and it is all I can do to keep her awake until vaguely bedtime, never mind trying to get her to learn anything after school.

Your poor DS!

onepieceoflollipop · 09/09/2010 20:48

If your ds is still awake then go up and in front of him write a letter to the teacher. (just a very quick note saying that with your permission ds is not doing his homework). This may reassure him a bit as he will observe that you are doing something.

Personally I would write a brief, low key note to the teacher. Just say that it is too much for him currently, but perhaps in a week or two she/he could see you for a few minutes to discuss further.

Herecomesthesciencebint · 09/09/2010 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheNextMrsDepp · 09/09/2010 20:49

He's in Reception fgs!

At our school we were told homework/spelling was completely optional at that age; there was no pressure whatsoever to do it. That's not acceptable or necessary at age 4 imo.

Talk to the teacher asap.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 09/09/2010 20:54

Sending words home at the start of Reception is plain silly, IMO.

invisibleink · 09/09/2010 20:54

Poor thing! :( What are the words??

TimothyTigerTuppennyTail · 09/09/2010 20:58

Ooh, hang on. Definitely speak to the teacher first. DS had words sent home while he was in reception BUT they were to be learnt at leisure. They were key stage words which they were doing at school, but they were sent home as well (not all at once) for practice if the child was happy to do it.

feedthegoat · 09/09/2010 20:59

My ds would react in exactly the same way. We were told at parents meeting that reading books wouldn't be issued straight away and there has been no mention of anything remotely like this yet.

I would definately have a work with teacher. Your poor ds .

BudaisintheZONE · 09/09/2010 20:59

Def speak to the teacher. He won't be the only one struggling at this stage.

My DS was totally uninterested in learning any words till about the Jan/ Feb of reception and he was not pushed at all . Then one day he just decided he wanted to bring words home. The teacher was great and had told me that when he was ready he would let us know.

Some of the children will be fine but quite a few won't be ready yet. Don't let them put him off learning already.

When he is ready a good tip I got was to print the words off in large format a few times stick them up around the house. I put some on bathroom mirror and some in kitchen. Also you can buy a magnetic set of the words they are supposed to know by end of reception and they are useful.

Poor little soul.

Original poster

rebl · 09/09/2010 21:00

I've just cuddled ds to sleep, something I've not done for years and will probably regret for weeks now. I'm writting in his reading book that he's been very upset about the homework and I have decided that we won't be doing homework again until he's settled and happy in school.

The words are look, here, in, no, not.

He doesn't even know the letters. He's deaf and can't hear "here" properly. He can't hear the sound "l" so look would been ook to him. His only just 4 and he's only just started school . I didn't want his 1st week to be like this.

These words are out of context which is hard enough I would have thought for any child but for a deaf child its almost impossible.

OP posts:

tribpot · 09/09/2010 21:06

I feel it's very wrong if he's been sent home with more words if he isn't confident with his 3. My ds built up his words very slowly over the course of reception, I would be very unhappy if they'd started piling in. He showed us how to do the words in his word tub, and he enjoyed it as a game. This is very bad! There should be no pressure at all.

TimothyTigerTuppennyTail · 09/09/2010 21:10

Homework isn't compulsory in reception anyway. DS didn't do all of his, but he did do some. Talk to the teacher, you may find there isn't meant to be any pressure. And them come back and let us know.

Then if I'm wrong tell us the school and we'll go and bitch slap her have a word!

thisisyesterday · 09/09/2010 21:12

poor little love, definitely talk with the teacher tomorrow about it all

i guess they just do the same for each child and are fairly relaxed about it, so I am sure it's fine if you don't do them with him for the time being

it would be nice if the teacher could let him know this though, that it's ok if it's a bit hard etc etc

and you shouldn't feel bad for cuddling him to sleep! that's what mum's are for isn't it????

HumphreyCobbler · 09/09/2010 21:13

Your poor DS.

I bet the teacher will be horrified he is so upset (although I do wonder why words are being sent home so soon?).

I think your note to the school is spot on but you need to talk to her about a strategy to build his confidence back up.

undercovamutha · 09/09/2010 21:15

Not an expert but it also seems like an odd lot of words.

My DD was in nursery class in the main primary school last year (mixed class with R), and in the last term she started bringing home some words and reading books.

The words were for example 'a' 'and' 'the', and the books were simple sentences that they weren't necessarily meant to read, but that put the words in context e.g. 'Biff had a book', 'Biff read the book' etc.

Donki · 09/09/2010 21:24

Does the teacher have any experience of teaching deaf children? Does she have access to support from a qualified ToD? It really is very different teaching deaf children (as I am discovering!) and she may not have had the training that she needs.

zapostrophe · 09/09/2010 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Runoutofideas · 10/09/2010 07:48

That is way too much for the first week of reception. If it helps you to see how other schools work, my dd1 has just started in yr1 - she's 5.6. She's just had her first ever spellings this week - they were "a, an, as, at and if" which she can do with no stress at all - surely that's how it is supposed to be....

Original poster

rebl · 10/09/2010 09:36

Donki We do have a ToD but she's so over stretched she's not yet made it into school and I've been told that they will be dropping his support from weekly visits to half termly visits. I'm not happy with that at all but what can I do?

zapostrophe They are knackered aren't they. The teacher doesn't seem to understand that he's having to work so much harder than the others in his class just to hear whats going on.

I spoke to the teacher this morning and explained that he was very upset about the words and he kept saying he had to do them even though he was so tired and so upset. She's clearly not read with them yet because she said "oh, maybe he's not ready to learn to read yet. I'll spend some time with him" . So this is what she's doing with a deaf child, or even any child, sending home stuff and piling the pressure on, not even knowing what level they're at? I'm not impressed. Anyway, I just said that I wouldn't be doing the words with him until I knew he was settled well in school and I asked if she would please explain to ds that its not compulsory to do the words every night.

We have a meeting in school on Monday with the head of sensory service and the teacher so hopefully things can get sorted then.

OP posts:

sarahfreck · 10/09/2010 18:09

I'd give your child lots of hugs and explain to him that if he's had a good try at something (either in school or for homework) and he still can't do it, then it's for you and his teacher to sort out a different way of helping him learn.and it's not his problem.

dilemma456 · 10/09/2010 18:09

Your poor DS. That sounds too much for the fist week of reception especially for a child that can't hear properly.

DD can read a bit but like everyone else in the class has just come home with the sounds S A T P I N this week. They've also sent home a stage 2 ORT so its a slightly confusing collection of work though the teacher explained the book reflets her reading ability and the sounds were really just revision for some and a start for some of the others in the class

Don't make him learn them, just read with him and spend time getting him interested in stories and words. He'll pick up far more than he will just looking at meaningless words with no context.

No way should reception children be losing sleep over their homework and no way should a reception teacher be sending home work well beyond their abilities. Surely until they know otherwise they should just assume the whole class should start with the basics.

Sorry to ramble i'm angry on behalf of your DS

CoupleofKooks · 10/09/2010 18:12

learning sight word like this is crap anyway and doesn't help children learn to read

thisisyesterday · 10/09/2010 18:12

rebl... they have onl just started school!!!!

they can't, within a week, have individually tailored plans to suit all childrenm

it will be the same in any school. they'll all get the same home activities to do.
if he doesn't want to do it/can'tdo it then don't push it.
if he does want to do it then great

you've spoken to the teacher she has been fine about it and said she'll do some work wiuth him

what's the problem??? i think that it's exactly the right thing

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